I want you to never have a narcissist mess with you again.
Not ever.
How do you manage to do that?
Well, there are several ways, and I want you to read over them and decide which ones you’re going to implement in your life.
This is not up for debate. If you want to thrive, you have to take drastic action, starting right now.
You can thank me in the comments!
#1 Go a step further than ‘Gray Rock’
You’ve all heard of Gray Rock by now – the treatment you give the narcissist when you want to minimize your emotions and opinions.
Now it’s time for Gray Rock 2.0!
Throw yourself into the original method, but I want you to back it up with the kind of attitude nobody wants to mess with.
You tell yourself that you are giving nothing away.
When a narcissist tries to mess with you or get information out of you, or play with your emotions, you drop this rock like it is a grenade, and you regret absolutely nothing.
They will try to get under your skin, and there will for sure be moments where they feel they know you’re going to cave and revert back to how you’d normally be.
That’s where you lock in and dig your heels into the ground.
This isn’t for the faint hearted, but it is for those who want to never let a narcissist mess with them again.
Try these tips to get your started:
- When the narcissist is trying to get a reaction out of you, leave. Don’t just ignore them and hope it will stop, or give them a little ‘okay’ to pacify them. Leave the room. Leave the house if you must. Tell them you’re going to the store and act like what they’re trying to do doesn’t even exist, let alone register with you.
- Use any opportunity you have to avoid conversations with them. When they call or text, put your phone down and refuse to even engage. They will be used to you answering right away and being at their beck and call, but not any more.
#2 Set a one strike rule
It’s pretty easy: it takes one attempt to cross the line and be gone.
If the narcissist keeps trying to push you, or goad you into conflict. If they blame you for something, if they give you the silent treatment; it’s all a big no.
You will not accept it. And many narcissists will probably think, “Oh, they don’t mean it. They can’t live without me.”
That’s where you prove them wrong. Never assume that you need anybody, least of all somebody set out to hurt you in so many ways.
This one strike rule will give you the chance to look out for unacceptable behavior, as well as make the narcissist aware that you mean business.
You’re not going to be messed with or taken advantage of, and you certainly aren’t going to tolerate years upon years of abuse.
They will know how serious you are the moment they mess up and you tell them you’re done.
If you’re stuck with a needy one who apologizes and promises it’ll never happen again, stand your ground and reaffirm your boundaries to yourself.
This is non-negotiable, and you have to be a person of your word, otherwise the narcissist will think they can get away with it again.
#3 Reverse interrogation: the best method!
When the narcissist wants to shine a light on you and make you their uncomfortable interrogated victim, you can flip the script and do it right back.
I guarantee they will never try to mess with you again, and will cut their current conversation with you at fast speed!
They say: Where were you last night? You said you’d be home on time.
You say: Right. But it’s okay for you to come home late pretty much every night. Where do you go?
They say: Why do you even bother with these fitness classes? One hour a week seems pointless. Who’s there that you see?
You say: Why do you bother going to the gym? $60 a month for what? Who are you seeing there that makes you like it so much?
This is about throwing whatever they give you right back in their face. You don’t have to answer their questions, but if they make it so, then you get to ask, too!
#4 Master the art of zero expression
Narcissists will study your face to ensure you are giving them the reaction they want to see.
That’s the entire reason why they work to get under your skin, but what if you gave zero back?
It’s hard to master when all you want is to express yourself, but there are ways to make it easy for yourself.
Think about what your expressions do for them. They love to see you squirm and feel that tension build within you just by looking at you.
How about responding by not responding? It seems like it won’t work, but don’t doubt your abilities.
You’ve got nothing to lose, and if you want the narcissist you know to never mess with you again, you’ve got to offer that one reason for them to lose interest in you.
Trust me, it works.
#5 Never explain yourself
One of the biggest ways a narcissist keeps control of their victim is by ensuring they are constantly explaining themselves to their abuser.
- Why you did what you did.
- Where you were.
- Why you said what you said in the tone you said it.
- Why you aren’t hungry.
- Where your money is going.
- Where you went in the car that clocked an extra 35 miles last week.
What are you doing every time you try to offer up an explanation?
It’s not fair for you to have to keep doing it, especially when the narcissists – like all narcissists – never explain themselves to you.
This is a sheer case of double standards, and it shouldn’t fly.
Your life is none of their business, so hold your boundaries and make sure you aren’t letting them walk all over you demanding too much.
#6 Control the physical space
Not all narcissists, but I’d say most, control the physical space around you without you even realizing it.
That doesn’t mean that they hit or punch, but it can be:
- Throwing things around the house when they’re in a rage.
- Standing by the door when they’re yelling at you so you can’t get out.
- Getting too close to you when they’re talking loudly so you hear them.
- Refusing to leave a room while giving you the silent treatment.
That space that you share becomes dominated by their physical presence, but you can do it right back.
Not that I want you to throw things, but I want you to command wherever you are and know that you have a right to be there in that particular place.
Trust that you are strong enough to be that empowered, and don’t be intimidated by the narcissist who is only really trying to reassert their power anyway.
They will then know that you are no longer the pushover they thought you were.
