Have you ever been fooled by a narcissist?

They have several ways to trick you up their sly sleeves, and they keep each and everyone well hidden.

It’s only when they really want to fool you, that they will up their toxic game and take you completely for the walkover they think you are.

I’m familiar with all the ways they can do this, and I think it’s time I shared what I know so you can dodge the narcissist’s bullet.

What Do Narcissists Get Out of Fooling You?

You want this in a nutshell?

Fooling you makes the narcissist feel like they’re winning. 

Fooling you intentionally ups their ability to control and manipulate you. 

What they get out of that is the knowledge that they are able to play you time and time again, and that you’ll constantly dance to the beat of their toxic drum. 

Watching You Suffer

You’d think it would be painful to watch the person you say you care about suffer- but in actual fact – they love it!

They work you out by getting to know everything about you that could be abused. Your past lovers. Your insecurities. What your boundaries are. What you love, what you hate. 

Before long, those are the very things they will ignite in whatever ‘ship’ you have with them. 

6 Ways Narcissists Will Fool You

So let’s get specific, here. You’re being fooled by a narcissist, and I’ve got the 6 main ways how they do it. 

#1 They Convince You That They Love You

It’s heartbreaking to be given all the signs that you are loved and admired, only to find out you were just a game to the narcissist. 

The way they convince can be some of the most conniving traits you will see from any person, but oh boy, do they convince. And they’re so good at it. 

A narcissist wants you to think they love you because the bigger picture needs it.

When you first meet, you won’t have access to that bigger picture, but it isn’t good. Meeting you is all about who the next person they can get a large amount of supply from is going to be. 

Being blindsided only means you fall into their trap – and as a result – you’re totally fooled that their feelings are real. 

#2 They Use Your Weaknesses Against You

Finding out all about you seems so wonderful to you at the time. They ask you questions like:

What are your hopes and dreams?

What do you fear the most?

Has anybody ever hurt you before?

What are your triggers?

You think, “Wow! This person really wants to know about me. They seem so interested.” And you’re right. They do want to know about you, and they are interested in you…

…But it’s not because they love you.

It’s because they are getting to know your weaknesses so they can use them against you.

Eventually, you will be triggered by the very things that trigger you, by the very person you told.

Your fears will come to life, brought on by acts of toxicity such as the silent treatment or being downright bullied or mocked.

Maybe the narcissist will fail to call you when they say they will, and you worry about their whereabouts.

You aren’t a fool by opening up to the narcissist. You assume you’re getting to know each other and sharing your vulnerabilities. 

If only it stopped there. 

#3 You Think They’re So Charming

It’s how every single person on the planet falls for any narcissist. 

The charm.

And it’s so real, isn’t it? They seem so genuine. And what an effort it all takes to be there paying you all that attention and giving you everything you need.

Unfortunately, it’s exactly how the narcissist lures you in, like a moth to the flame.

Their charm seems so real, doesn’t it? They really seem interested in you. They really seem to enjoy spending time with you and telling you how much they care.

The way they hold you…

The kisses…

The intimacy…

The passion…

You’re completely fallen, and their game is only just beginning.

#4 So Seductive…

I want you, and only you.

I want our kisses to be slow and sensual, so you really take in how I feel about you.

I want you to wear that dress I love.

The seductive patterns of a narcissist are designed to put you on a pedestal. With every intention possible, they want you to feel as though you’re the only person in the world. 

Then they set their demands upon you. The abuse will start, and suddenly, it’s as if you truly are the only other person in the world.

By this point, they’ve carved out a life for you involving very few others, if any. 

#5 Passionate intimacy = A Protector

Leading on from seduction comes the intimate life with a narcissist. Now, I don’t want to assume your personal and imitate lives, but I will go as far to say that most narcissists love to take control.

Intimacy involves two people, but you wouldn’t think when you think about how the narcissist is the one who tells you where they want you and how they want you, while they take over and dominate. 

You might think, “Wow, this is amazing. Finally, somebody who makes me feel like they are in control. They will protect me for the rest of my life with this type of power.”

Wrong.

They won’t protect. But they will control you. Fooling you into thinking otherwise is their ultimate game. They will use intimacy to do this. 

#6 Knowing How To Garner Empathy From You

I feel so unwell. Please can you stay home and look after me? Do you really need to go out with your friend?

I just have such a hard time at work. Nobody seems to take my ideas seriously.

I wish you knew how difficult it was to be the one person out of us who earns the most. 

Pulling you toward their concern is how they get validation from you. By reminding themselves that they are your priority will open doors for them to garner empathy or sympathy from you in as many ways as possible. 

It’s a way to totally fool you – but guess what – they do it so well, and it truly works.

You think they need a boost of self-esteem, so you stay with them and forget everything else. Only in time do you realize these boost requests come at a price to you. 

What Do Narcissists Fear the Most?

The 20 Biggest Fears Of Narcissists

They don’t look like they fear anything, do they?

Narcissists really do walk around acting as if they are perfect. If you were to ask them what they’re scared of, they’d laugh in your face and tell you to move out of their way.

Well, I’m here to tell you the truth.

Narcissists are petrified of more than you have ever known…

…Until now.

Here, I unlock the 20 biggest fears of narcissists, so you don’t need to embarrass them by asking them what they’re scared of ever again.

When The Narcissist Can’t Sleep At Night

Tick, tock, tick, tock,

3am?!

What’s keeping the narcissist up at night?

It’s likely to be thinking about their fears, as believe it or not, they cross their minds from time to time. 

Those fears remain buried under the guise of the charmer – the person everybody sees when they initially speak to the narcissist. 

Well, I’ve got my shovel, and I am about to dig each fear up.

#1 It’s Expose Time! 

Imagine the look of terror on the narcissist’s face when you expose them. It’ll be brief, sure. If you blink, you miss it.

Because soon enough – that fear will convert into rage – an emotion you’re probably much more familiar with when you think about the narcissist in your life. 

Before that rage, that fear will be evident. The idea of you telling everybody the true character of the narcissist fills them with an impalpable dread. 

It all starts to crumble.

They’ve nowhere to hide, and they cannot fool everybody anymore. At least some people will believe you, and that’s all you’d need to expose them fully. 

So yes – it keeps the narcissist up at night to think you could do such a thing, knowing as soon you do so, their power diminishes. 

#2 Control: Officially Lost

Get ready for the narcissist’s foundation to shake, rattle and roll.

Losing control is last on their list of ideals, but it’s a stark possibility when the victim turns to victor.

Seeing through the narcissism to a person who, underneath it all, is just a small-minded, afraid nobody, makes them more worried than you could imagine. 

If that control goes – what do they have?!

#3 The Truth is Feared

What is the truth?

We all know, don’t we?

We’re dealing with a person, or several people if you’re really unlucky, who aren’t who they say they are.

There is a truth behind the lies, and behind that is the ongoing fear from the narcissist that their lies will be exposed. 

Believe me when I say that the narcissist will do what it takes to silence their victims, but that doesn’t mean the truth will never prevail.

#4 The Ordinary 

Ordinary means what to you? For me, it’s just an average day, with nothing standing out. No one big moment.

Narcissists hate not standing out. They always want to be the center of attention, and if they’re seen as normal, or ordinary, that will be the biggest threat – and fear – to their grandiose personality. 

#5 Being Alone

Imagine having nobody to manipulate. When they need to suck the life out of another – there’s not a soul available. 

Narcissists need people around not just to do this with, but also, those people are needed to influence. 

The absence of others is the absence of validation and supply, and without a push from others for attention, the narcissist won’t fully know how to function.

They fear being alone for that very reason.

#6 Bye Bye, Attention

Invisibility is the true enemy of the narcissist. They need to be the honey, while the bees buzz around them constantly.

Without that noise, there is silence.

And in silence, there will be zero attention.

#7 Others… Happy… Really?

No single soul on the planet has the right to be happy (according to the narcissist). If you’re so happy, what could you possibly be so happy about? 

How dare you!

Your smile is enough to have it wiped right off your face, and the narcissist is going to love doing so.

Passing judgment. Criticizing you. Bringing you down. Triggering you. Disappointing you. Giving you the silent treatment and yelling at you. Whatever it takes. Why? 

Simple! They fear that your happiness will create this brand new version of you that will tolerate the narcissist just that little bit less. 

#8 How Victims Self-Love

Listen, if you’re loving yourself, then you are loving the narcissist less. It’s great for you – and that’s exactly why it isn’t good for them. 

The fear that comes from you loving yourself is that you will decide you’re too good for them – and leave. 

#9 Financial Independence

You’ve got your money sorted, you earn a large buck or two, and there’s nothing they can do about it.

Seeing you take care of your finances so well, there’s little to no chance of them taking it all away from you – leaving you dependent on them. 

Big fear!

#10 “So What?”

Ah, so you’re indifferent, are you?

That’s a big ache in the gut for the narcissist, who thrives on your reactions. If you don’t have any ones to give, consider yourself immune to the narcissist…

…New narcissist fear unlocked!

#11 Brave Enough To Be Accountable

Accountability is a huge fear of the narcissist, who usually ensures that what they’re doing will never be found out.

They don’t want to own up to any wrongdoing – so you can safely tick this as a huge fear of theirs. 

#12 Losing to Legality

If you want to really send shivers down the narcissist’s spine – threaten them with legal action.

It’s the epitome of doing wrong for all to see as well – which only adds to their nightmare!

#13 New Victims: Gone

Just when they thought they had a good victim in you – you up and leave.

Their plans turn to dust, and they become vulnerable all over again, with no supply!

#14 Strong? Good!

Your strength kills narcissists. It acts as such a strong repellent that you would be hard pushed to see any narcissist stick around.

They’re scared of you! What narcissist wants to admit that they’re scared of somebody?!

#15 Being Alone

You can forgive babies for not wanting to be alone – but grown adults? This isn’t about normal loneliness that can really affect people – this is the fear of having no life to suck out of anybody. 

#16 Mirror Mirror On The Wall

Don’t look into it if you’re a narcissist, because we all know – including you – that you are not the fairest of them all!

The biggest fear of a narcissist is doing so, and seeing that ugliness stare back at them. 

#17 “No Thanks, Bye”

Rejection.

Ouch.

A narcissist experienced enough of this as a child, and it is a huge trigger for them; a reminder that they aren’t good enough for somebody. 

#18 Criticism

What do you mean they aren’t perfect?

You cannot tell a narcissist that they have faults! That’s their job to make you feel shitty – not the other way around!

#19 Partners In The Know

Knowing who the narcissist really is means the power shifts from them, to you. 

What does that mean for you? Well, you’re likely to be a person who wants to do bad with their power, but it does mean you no longer get played by them.

They fear this – they fear you having an education in narcissism. You have the power to expose and all them out.

A powerless narcissist is not a happy narcissist. 

#20 Getting Over: Moving On

If you’ve gotten over a narcissist and moved on – you’ve done what they thought you’d never do.

Always expecting you to be around to use and abuse, you’ve finally made your way out of it.

While that’s a moment for real pride, it’s a moment of fear for them.

What do they do now?