So, your narcissist relationship has ended.

Three cheers for you!

Hip hip – hooray!

Now what?

Well, now it’s officially over, there are some things that need to be done.

These things are all for your best interests – and as much as they might make you feel uncomfortable – they’re necessary.

Your wellbeing is necessary, and your future depends on how you act right now.

Getting started, starts today.

Narcissistic Relationships: They’re A Lot

I know that leaving any relationship is hard. When something you’ve invested in for months, years, or even decades comes to a close, you’ll find adjusting to life without it really tricky. 

Who you are has never stopped mattering. The person you want to be can still exist, and coming out of something so abusive can give you the refreshing opportunity to discover the power within. 

Narcissistic relationships are a lot to handle.

Time heals, I can promise you that.

Losing Yourself… And Then it Ends

In narcissistic relationships, it has become standard for the victim to completely lose themselves.

The way the narcissist erodes every single part of their identity, their confidence, and their entire process of wellbeing is the most destructive aspect.

Coming to terms with losing yourself like this can be tough when it’s already taking you every ounce of strength just to get through each day.

Your hope for this relationship has gone. You now know that all the promises you made are never going to come true.

You think you will be okay, but your lack of confidence pulls you back and reminds you that you can’t do this alone.

But you can.

That hope for your relationship may have gone, but that needs to be how you view a blessing in disguise.

The relationship you wanted will never be, because it was your dream.

The reality is – the narcissist will never fit that mold you made. 

The Chaos Calms – and It’s Unnerving

A common worry for people I meet with who have just left a narcissistic relationship is that they just can’t get used to the lack of chaos..

They saw their entire relationship as one huge rollercoaster ride. The ups, the downs, the dips, the anticipation – it was all there.

And boy, were those highs high. They made up for how low the bad times could get – but that’s the whole cycle of abuse as proof in action.

No single relationship should be that unstable. The way you constantly have to swim against the tide just to get by?

That’s not right.

And most people when they leave that kind of situation literally don’t know what to do with themselves.

They grow used to the chaos. The drama becomes a part of their lives. They live for the next high because they need it as much as the narcissist. 

Yes – the quieter life can appear unnerving at first.

Nobody is shouting. The eggshells have gone. You don’t have to worry about what mood they will come home in.

You haven’t got to listen to the criticism, or worry that you will say or do another thing wrong ever again. 

So – what now?

6 Things You Need To Do After a Narcissistic Relationship

These six things are so important for you in your healing journey. Each one holds an important message—that you are in control.

#1 Go No Contact!

The highest form of self-care post-narcissistic relationship.

There’s no doubt in my mind that the best and first thing you must do – is to go no contact.

I don’t just mean to speak to them less, or delete their number (although those things are strongly recommended). I mean you cut them out.

You block all forms of communication they strive to use to contact you. You refuse to engage with them online and through social media. Strengthen your profiles so only friends can see your updates. 

Don’t contact them for anything, even when you miss them and want to see how they’re doing.

Why? Don’t do it! Think about everything they caused you and what they did to your spirit. 

This is non-negotiable. No contact is the best for long-term healing. 

#2 Educate Yourself: Knowledge is Power

Knowing what narcissistic abuse really is and how deeply it can cut is the only way you can understand what happened to you and why. 

Knowing the narcissist did what they did to you because of them and not you is also something I strongly ask you to think about.

So often, I hear things like, “What did I do wrong?” or “What could I have done better?”

No.

This isn’t a you problem. 

This is all them.

#3 Self-Care is a Must!

Self-care in the most obvious form is still something you should be doing, even throughout a relationship – but especially after abusive relationships. 

Remember who you are and what your body and mind need. Get plenty of sleep. Eat well.

Find a form of exercise that suits you to practice every day, even just for ten minutes. Find yourself in nature. See friends. Take those daily showers and keep yourself feeling fresh.

It all matters, because you matter.

#4 Set Up and Stick To Your Boundaries

I know it can be hard to find the strength right as you’re exiting a narcissistic relationship.

You definitely need to think about what you value and what you simply will not compromise on. This can include how you’re treated and what you will tolerate. 

#5 Ruminate in a Certain Time

It’s natural to ruminate when there’s so much change occurring.

What could you have done differently/

Why did it happen the way it did?

What will you do now?

How are you going to move on?

Why did they treat you that way?

Who even are you?

Give yourself time to think what you need to think. You’re processing so much.

But…

Then grace yourself with some mental freedom. This is all about balance, and yes, you can think about it all. You need time to self-reflect.

But then – remember to live. 

#6 Grieve – and Allow It

What people tend to forget is that the end of a relationship spells time needed to grieve.

Of course you’re going to think about all the promises that were made, and the future you know you’re not going to have with the narcissist.

This is all down to the attachment they created with you. Exactly how much time they gave to making sure you thought they were the only one for you. 

The truth?

You can live without them – but you need to firstly grieve the person you always wanted them to be.

The person they will never be able to be for you or anybody else for that matter. 

You Deserve Better!

What Eventually Happens To Narcissists?

How Does it End For Narcissists?

Narcissists are like a really painful, long book that you have to read to understand. They don’t come with an index or bullet points. If they did, half their toxicity would fall through the cracks.

Sadly, people like you or I must experience them fully before we know each trick.

If I can offer you one fragment of light at the end of this treacherous tunnel – it’s this:

What happens to narcissists is an ending that you’re going to want to hang on for.

Let’s get into it.

“Look At Them!”

It’s enough to make you sick, isn’t it?

They live their merry little lives, seemingly getting away with anything and everything, making you want to scream from the rooftops.

Yes – it’s unfair. 

You wish they would just crumble and fall down, so you could finally see them suffer as much as they made you suffer. 

You want what happens to them to be detrimental to everything they pretend to be. 

Does The Tide Ever Turn?

What do you think? I mean, I want to be able to tell you that they do indeed turn honestly.

I also know and appreciate how it really doesn’t feel that way at the time. Constantly waiting for them to taste their own medicine can feel like waiting for rain in a drought.

But I am here to say that, yes, eventually, that rain will come.

And it will feel amazing.

The Beauty of Karma

I don’t like to meddle with Karma. Instead, I trust that everything will work exactly how it should.

Sometimes we win, sometimes we lose. The circle of life appreciates both good and bad happenings, and I am certain that includes narcissists and how they treat others. 

Karma doesn’t need you stepping in and taking over, so if you ever try to gain justice from a situation involving a narcissist, you’re likely to lose. 

Rather than that – it’s nothing but a waiting game. 

But a game you’ll definitely not want to quit.

How Does It End For Them?

No narcissist has a really happy ending. 

Ultimately, they go home alone every day, even if they go home to somebody. 

Narcissists always want to be part of something, yet never feel part of anything. It’s all empty. It’s all meaningless. They don’t have layers to them or an ounce of appreciation for their family or friends. 

That alone should tell you how it ends for every narcissist. 

They’re nothing but lonely people craving some kind of something. 

That is something they never end up getting.

#1 The Slipping of the Mask

You may have to wait a while, but the mask of a narcissist will always, I repeat, always slip off.

I know you think it can’t happen soon enough, and many of you will be screaming for it to be today—but it doesn’t work that way.

In fact, the more you try to rush the mask’s slipping, the crazier you will look.

If you want to allow their true selves to unfold naturally, you’ll have to wait for the day.

#2 Inability to Keep Up With Their Lies

We all know that lying can lead to serious trouble. Not only do you have to remember this, but you may also have to build potential lies around it so they make sense. 

Narcissists are great at lying, but they can do it so frequently that they fail to recall them all.

When you see a narcissist caught in a lie trap, they will fluff and fumble their way out as best they can with the charm they were born with. 

I want to remind you, though – the lies do catch up with them eventually.

Lies catch up with everybody. 

#3 One Small Mistake

This is all it takes, believe me. One tiny little slip up to get people talking is all it takes. 

I once knew a narcissist professionally who never took any accountability for his mistakes.

He used to cover up all his mistakes, blaming others or deleting evidence that he was responsible. 

One day, he was caught in the act. He had no defense, and even though he got really angry and tried to blame somebody else, it was clear he was to blame. 

His mistake was leaving his work pass in the room where he shredded all the information he wanted to discard. 

It’s all it took for the dominos to all fall down, and for the past to come together like a jigsaw puzzle. People saw what he was like, and nobody trusted him again. 

#4 Time Will Tell

You’re all familiar with the saying, ‘Time will heal.’ It helps if you are going through hard times or have lost somebody close to you. 

Time also heals your own heart as it allows narcissists to be revealed for who they really are.

As much as it will cause chaos, it will be healing to be validated by the entire event. 

It’s how so many victims breathe a sigh of relief and say, “Thank goodness everybody can now see them for who they truly are.”

Time will give you that. You just have to wait for it. 

#5 They Won’t Hesitate To Move!

Narcissists are renowned for moving. 

To start again, if things get too heated where they live,

Looking for work in a new city or town for a ‘fresh start.’

Usually, when they run everybody else down or play them all in their games, they run out of people.

They run out of supply.

So what do they do?

They run away.

It won’t end there, though. Moving anywhere new only restarts the whole process.

Narcissists, for that reason, never really admit to having somewhere to call home.

#6 New Friends

Of course, moving anywhere means starting up a new friendship circle. People will mingle and meet with everybody, as all new people are considered to be fresh pawns in their game. 

Friends end up being enemies before long…

In The End

You can wait and wait, but eventually, the narcissist will get their comeuppance.

In one way or another, whether being found out, having their mask slip, or having to keep bouncing from town to city to stay relevant or liked.

Please allow that to be the justice you need, because it is.

Narcissists will always be miserable. They hate being stuck or figured out, so they must constantly work out their plan to keep their true selves a secret.

Isn’t that the end you want to hear about?

I know it is for me.