I’ve learned the hard way that dealing with a narcissist can drain your energy and totally mess with your confidence. You then question everything.

But wait. What if you could somehow flip the script

I want to share 6 powerful things you can do to hurt the narcissist. This isn’t about cruelty, it’s about reclaiming your power. 

If you’ve ever felt that powerlessness around these toxic idiots, keep reading.

You might just find a move that gives you the upper hand you never thought was possible before now.

#1 Don’t chase them

What does chasing get for you up until this point? Really think about that, by the way. I don’t want you to say:

It makes me feel better.

I get the answers I need.

It helps me feel like I am working on the relationship.

No. Chasing means you are doing all the work, and the other person is doing nothing.

Otherwise you’d be walking toward each other, right? And that’s not happening. 

But guess what? The secret is that the narcissist loves you chasing them. In running after their every mood and silence, you’re giving them exactly what they want.

You feed them attention, which they will lap up like a dog eat turkey leftovers.

You feed them your time, which could otherwise be spent doing something productive for, I don’t know… you, maybe?

You give them your energy, which could be used for you if it weren’t being wasted on them again. 

Instead, just don’t. Hit them where it hurts and starve them of the supply they’ve been so used to all this time. 

#2 Don’t explain yourself

I was just…

I wanted to…

I didn’t mean to…

I did it because…

I thought you might…

Just let me explain…

Stop! Stop it all. Stop it now. Stop it forever. I don’t want to hear your excuses, and I don’t want you having to use up all your energy telling the narcissist exactly what they want to hear from you. 

You’re doing them a favor every single time you open your mouth with a justification.

You’re allowing them to lap up your desperation to seek validation from them as to why you said or did something. It has to stop. It needs to stop. 

When you learn how to actually put that kind of talk to bed instead of making it your life’s mission to be understood, you will feel free.

The narcissist already understands you, but they pretend they don’t just to watch you wriggle and squirm your way out of the next awkward situation they’ve set up for you. 

Don’t fall for it, and you will feel much better about yourself. Of course, learning to not feel guilty about explaining is trickier, but will come in time if you let it be. 

When I say this kind of thing hurts a narcissist, I really mean it. Instead of your transparency, they are met with your strength. Where did you go? Why are you no longer readable?

Who cares?

#3 Don’t try to make them see your side

What a waste of time it is to try to make them see where you’re coming from.

Narcissists only see what they want to see, and if you are convincing them that you have a side of the story to begin with, then you’re not really dealing with a narcissist. 

Having and needing to always be right, they will ignore your calls to listen to them.

It’s a case of, “I already made my mind up about how I want this situation to end, and your side of the story contradicts that so, bye.”

In other words, before you’ve even started to show them your side of the story, you’re fighting a losing battle.

What’s the point? You have to just allow them to think what they want and get lost in it all to really hurt them.

They’re counting on your begging and pleading to feel good about themselves, but you have to prove that this is no longer an option. 

Hit the high road!

#4 Don’t beg for closure

When a narcissist shows you that they’re leaving, let them.

It should be a relief to you that they’ve ghosted you and won’t allow you the closure you feel you need, but in asking them for it, you’re still letting them have that power.

Why don’t you see it this way; you are able to give yourself closure. You just need to know that you deserve it.

When you are in a position to receive it, it can be on your own terms, without any assistance from the narcissist at all. 

Begging for closure shows the narcissist that moving on is impossible without their permission. 

You do not need their permission to live your life. 

This is non-negotiable. 

#5 Don’t believe them

Sounds like the most simple way to hurt them, doesn’t it?

All the while you fall into their traps of believing them when they tell you that you aren’t capable or good enough, and whenever they drag your character down yet again, choose you.

Choose to believe that you are good and capable and strong. 

Choose to see the good in your energy and light. 

Why should their words stand true to form, anyway? Why should what they say goes? They’re just people like you and me, they do not get to decide your future for you. 

That is solely down to you. 

When you stop believing, you start introducing that confidence into yourself again. 

You are then able to grow and find your footing in life without them. This is like a physical pain to the narcissist, but you know what?

They deserve it. 

#6 Stop giving access

This is such a big one!

Stop giving them access to you. To your heart, to your compassion, to your kindness, to your offerings of help and support. You will not receive anything in return. I will say it again:

You will not receive anything in return. 

Letting the narcissist in is a sign that they don’t care about your boundaries.

They aren’t bothered by any privacy you have the right to. They don’t care about all the ways you try to preserve the positive aspects of your life. 

Let them wonder about you. The less they know, the more likely you are to heal.

The less they know, the more likely you are to succeed in whatever goals or aspirations you have for yourself.

It’s really that simple, and it’s what I think all victims need to think about. 

And I know. I know you’re the kind of person who just wants peace and for  everybody to be and feel happy.

You want to be there and you don’t want to feel guilty about keeping secrets, or pulling yourself away from the narcissist you really want to love you back. 

Isn’t it about time you didn’t care? They’ve put you through enough already.

It’s time to start living your life and if your actions hurt the narcissist, that doesn’t mean you’re doing anything wrong, it means you’re doing everything right…

…For you, at least! Keep it that way!

What Do Narcissists Fear the Most?

The 20 Biggest Fears Of Narcissists

They don’t look like they fear anything, do they?

Narcissists really do walk around acting as if they are perfect. If you were to ask them what they’re scared of, they’d laugh in your face and tell you to move out of their way.

Well, I’m here to tell you the truth.

Narcissists are petrified of more than you have ever known…

…Until now.

Here, I unlock the 20 biggest fears of narcissists, so you don’t need to embarrass them by asking them what they’re scared of ever again.

When The Narcissist Can’t Sleep At Night

Tick, tock, tick, tock,

3am?!

What’s keeping the narcissist up at night?

It’s likely to be thinking about their fears, as believe it or not, they cross their minds from time to time. 

Those fears remain buried under the guise of the charmer – the person everybody sees when they initially speak to the narcissist. 

Well, I’ve got my shovel, and I am about to dig each fear up.

#1 It’s Expose Time! 

Imagine the look of terror on the narcissist’s face when you expose them. It’ll be brief, sure. If you blink, you miss it.

Because soon enough – that fear will convert into rage – an emotion you’re probably much more familiar with when you think about the narcissist in your life. 

Before that rage, that fear will be evident. The idea of you telling everybody the true character of the narcissist fills them with an impalpable dread. 

It all starts to crumble.

They’ve nowhere to hide, and they cannot fool everybody anymore. At least some people will believe you, and that’s all you’d need to expose them fully. 

So yes – it keeps the narcissist up at night to think you could do such a thing, knowing as soon you do so, their power diminishes. 

#2 Control: Officially Lost

Get ready for the narcissist’s foundation to shake, rattle and roll.

Losing control is last on their list of ideals, but it’s a stark possibility when the victim turns to victor.

Seeing through the narcissism to a person who, underneath it all, is just a small-minded, afraid nobody, makes them more worried than you could imagine. 

If that control goes – what do they have?!

#3 The Truth is Feared

What is the truth?

We all know, don’t we?

We’re dealing with a person, or several people if you’re really unlucky, who aren’t who they say they are.

There is a truth behind the lies, and behind that is the ongoing fear from the narcissist that their lies will be exposed. 

Believe me when I say that the narcissist will do what it takes to silence their victims, but that doesn’t mean the truth will never prevail.

#4 The Ordinary 

Ordinary means what to you? For me, it’s just an average day, with nothing standing out. No one big moment.

Narcissists hate not standing out. They always want to be the center of attention, and if they’re seen as normal, or ordinary, that will be the biggest threat – and fear – to their grandiose personality. 

#5 Being Alone

Imagine having nobody to manipulate. When they need to suck the life out of another – there’s not a soul available. 

Narcissists need people around not just to do this with, but also, those people are needed to influence. 

The absence of others is the absence of validation and supply, and without a push from others for attention, the narcissist won’t fully know how to function.

They fear being alone for that very reason.

#6 Bye Bye, Attention

Invisibility is the true enemy of the narcissist. They need to be the honey, while the bees buzz around them constantly.

Without that noise, there is silence.

And in silence, there will be zero attention.

#7 Others… Happy… Really?

No single soul on the planet has the right to be happy (according to the narcissist). If you’re so happy, what could you possibly be so happy about? 

How dare you!

Your smile is enough to have it wiped right off your face, and the narcissist is going to love doing so.

Passing judgment. Criticizing you. Bringing you down. Triggering you. Disappointing you. Giving you the silent treatment and yelling at you. Whatever it takes. Why? 

Simple! They fear that your happiness will create this brand new version of you that will tolerate the narcissist just that little bit less. 

#8 How Victims Self-Love

Listen, if you’re loving yourself, then you are loving the narcissist less. It’s great for you – and that’s exactly why it isn’t good for them. 

The fear that comes from you loving yourself is that you will decide you’re too good for them – and leave. 

#9 Financial Independence

You’ve got your money sorted, you earn a large buck or two, and there’s nothing they can do about it.

Seeing you take care of your finances so well, there’s little to no chance of them taking it all away from you – leaving you dependent on them. 

Big fear!

#10 “So What?”

Ah, so you’re indifferent, are you?

That’s a big ache in the gut for the narcissist, who thrives on your reactions. If you don’t have any ones to give, consider yourself immune to the narcissist…

…New narcissist fear unlocked!

#11 Brave Enough To Be Accountable

Accountability is a huge fear of the narcissist, who usually ensures that what they’re doing will never be found out.

They don’t want to own up to any wrongdoing – so you can safely tick this as a huge fear of theirs. 

#12 Losing to Legality

If you want to really send shivers down the narcissist’s spine – threaten them with legal action.

It’s the epitome of doing wrong for all to see as well – which only adds to their nightmare!

#13 New Victims: Gone

Just when they thought they had a good victim in you – you up and leave.

Their plans turn to dust, and they become vulnerable all over again, with no supply!

#14 Strong? Good!

Your strength kills narcissists. It acts as such a strong repellent that you would be hard pushed to see any narcissist stick around.

They’re scared of you! What narcissist wants to admit that they’re scared of somebody?!

#15 Being Alone

You can forgive babies for not wanting to be alone – but grown adults? This isn’t about normal loneliness that can really affect people – this is the fear of having no life to suck out of anybody. 

#16 Mirror Mirror On The Wall

Don’t look into it if you’re a narcissist, because we all know – including you – that you are not the fairest of them all!

The biggest fear of a narcissist is doing so, and seeing that ugliness stare back at them. 

#17 “No Thanks, Bye”

Rejection.

Ouch.

A narcissist experienced enough of this as a child, and it is a huge trigger for them; a reminder that they aren’t good enough for somebody. 

#18 Criticism

What do you mean they aren’t perfect?

You cannot tell a narcissist that they have faults! That’s their job to make you feel shitty – not the other way around!

#19 Partners In The Know

Knowing who the narcissist really is means the power shifts from them, to you. 

What does that mean for you? Well, you’re likely to be a person who wants to do bad with their power, but it does mean you no longer get played by them.

They fear this – they fear you having an education in narcissism. You have the power to expose and all them out.

A powerless narcissist is not a happy narcissist. 

#20 Getting Over: Moving On

If you’ve gotten over a narcissist and moved on – you’ve done what they thought you’d never do.

Always expecting you to be around to use and abuse, you’ve finally made your way out of it.

While that’s a moment for real pride, it’s a moment of fear for them.

What do they do now?