You’ve waited for this moment for a long time, haven’t you? I can tell. I can see it in your eyes, even from behind this screen.
You’ve wanted the narcissist to experience a severe case of payback, and I’m here for it.
Any breakdown a narcissist feels is down to just a few crucial things. I want you to take each one in, and remember that it will eventually happen to the narcissist.
It always does.
So let’s take a look at those 6 things that trigger a narcissist’s breakdown.
Are You Ready?
Nobody is ever really ready to witness the downfall of a narcissist. Breakdowns are hard to go through.
They hurt and can fundamentally change us as humans – but the narcissist? They’re breakdowns are nothing but self-inflicted.
They are the cause of their own pain, but they will never admit it.
So to be ready for it is to be ready for anything.
Narcissist breakdowns can look like:
- Physical or mental health decline – usually accompanied by the narcissist self-diagnosing or heading to their doctor for further tests. This is to distract from the breakdown and make it appear to be about another matter entirely.
- Losing any shred of regulation they had. Think rage, anger, shouting, whatever it is that will blast you into another place just being near them. Again, the noise is a distraction from what’s really going on.
- Everybody else is somehow suffering. “It’s your fault!” will be heard a lot because they won’t want to admit they’ve dug their own well of misery that they’re now stuck in.
- Isolation. Where did they even go? They will make excuses, but the truth is, they’re embarrassed. They don’t want to be asked questions about what is going on because they’ve got nothing. It’s easier to disappear.
Let’s look at what those triggers are.
#1 Public Humiliation or Embarrassment
Massive ‘ouch’ for all narcissists! This is the sort of thing they have nightmares about, and for it to come true – watch out.
Public humiliation or embarrassment can appear like:
- Getting information wrong in front of everybody.
- Making a mistake during a presentation.
- Failing to land a new contract.
- Tripping over and landing on their ass in a public place.
- Somebody making a joke, remark or criticism about them in front of a crowd of people.
This is real stormy seas we are entering, but it’s exactly where you will find the narcissist begin their breakdown.
If they’re going to end up being embarrassed, you’re going to be sure there’s going to be an emotional fallout as a result.
And I bet the first thing they will do is blame you, or yell at you, right? Does it sound familiar?
Of course it does! They can’t stand to be a target, that’s usually what they do to other people, isn’t it?
#2 Being Exposed or Called Out
You’ve found out who they are deep underneath that thick, sickly layer of pretence. And guess what? You’ve outed them, or somebody you know has.
Finally, the tables have turned and you are seeing reality rise from the darkness of toxicity. You can always count on the truth coming out eventually, but it will trigger a breakdown.
They will deny almost to the point where their heads will explode.
They will accuse you of being the one to blame – possibly even the narcissist. What a joke that’d be for you!
Calling out a narcissist is a pretty brave thing to do, as it will nearly always result in losing people in your circle of family or friends.
But you know, sometimes they do it all by themselves. They are more careless than you think!
When the time comes where you notice the breakdown – I would advise you to take cover and let them ride out their own waes of misery by themselves.
They don’t deserve help or support.
#3 Not Being the Center of Attention
I want you to take yourself out of this for a moment, and think about the solar system.
You’ve got the sun, the planets, the moons. The center of everything is our sun. Everything else revolves around it and a hurtling speed.
If I were to draw a picture of your social dynamics, I would put the narcissist at the center of it. Which is ironic really, isn’t it? That somebody else is the ‘main star’ in your story; your life?
If the narcissist isn’t taking up what spot, they will make your life hell. They hate it. They are not a side dish, they are the main course.
But in truth, they don’t deserve that place, and they do nothing healthy to maintain a good position there. As soon as you take them away, they will have a breakdown.
And this is the interesting part – because when you really look at why, it’s because you don’t need them to take center spot. You have finally decided to put yourself there, and place your priorities over theirs.
It’s a powerful place to be, isn’t it?
#4 Losing Control Over Someone
Cue the loss of control!
You put yourself first, and the narcissist makes it an actual problem. Imagine being in such a place that your wellbeing is an issue for somebody who claims to care about you?
All those years of bullying you, making you feel foolish, being the reason you lose yourself – and now they have the nerve to break down over you saying no more.
The control was always yours, but you were too kind to see that you deserved it for yourself. That coupled with a total loss of self-worth – yeah – they pulled the strings for a while.
As soon as you get that control back, the narcissist will spin out and lose it.
That should never be your permission to hand it back. Keep up with your promise to yourself.
#5 Seeing You Thrive Without Them
There comes a moment where you reject all the ideas the narcissist had for you, and replace them with your own.
Where there was once laughter at a hobby, you’re beginning to explore it all over again.
Where there was once a snigger at that dress you wore, you’re wearing it without so much as a slight hunch.
Where you once scrolled past that job opening because you were told you weren’t clever enough for it, you’re clicking and applying.
It feels good, doesn’t it? And yes, it is strange to finally make choices that align with your goals, your heart, your own self, but you’re doing it.
And they watch from afar, breaking down at the sight of you thriving and living your best life.
#6 Rejection or Abandonment
Narcissists are fearful of rejection and abandonment. They see it as a sign that they’re not liked, or not worthy.
Hiding it well, they pretend to be the biggest person in the room all the time, and the most successful. Strip it all away, and you’re left with a scared person.
They hate the thought of somebody leaving them because it will reaffirm what they think about themselves underneath it all – that they’re unlovable.
Instead of being honest with themselves, they project all of that onto you, hence why you lose yourself so much in their presence.
It’s time to shake it up. Allow them to fall into their breakdown…
While you get your life back.
