You’ve waited for this moment for a long time, haven’t you? I can tell. I can see it in your eyes, even from behind this screen.

You’ve wanted the narcissist to experience a severe case of payback, and I’m here for it.

Any breakdown a narcissist feels is down to just a few crucial things. I want you to take each one in, and remember that it will eventually happen to the narcissist.

It always does.

So let’s take a look at those 6 things that trigger a narcissist’s breakdown.

Are You Ready?

Nobody is ever really ready to witness the downfall of a narcissist. Breakdowns are hard to go through.

They hurt and can fundamentally change us as humans – but the narcissist? They’re breakdowns are nothing but self-inflicted. 

They are the cause of their own pain, but they will never admit it.

So to be ready for it is to be ready for anything. 

Narcissist breakdowns can look like:

• Physical or mental health decline – usually accompanied by the narcissist self-diagnosing or heading to their doctor for further tests. This is to distract from the breakdown and make it appear to be about another matter entirely. 

• Losing any shred of regulation they had. Think rage, anger, shouting, whatever it is that will blast you into another place just being near them. Again, the noise is a distraction from what’s really going on. 

• Everybody else is somehow suffering. “It’s your fault!” will be heard a lot because they won’t want to admit they’ve dug their own well of misery that they’re now stuck in. 

• Isolation. Where did they even go? They will make excuses, but the truth is, they’re embarrassed. They don’t want to be asked questions about what is going on because they’ve got nothing. It’s easier to disappear. 

Let’s look at what those triggers are.

#1 Public Humiliation or Embarrassment

Massive ‘ouch’ for all narcissists! This is the sort of thing they have nightmares about, and for it to come true – watch out. 

Public humiliation or embarrassment can appear like:

• Getting information wrong in front of everybody.
• Making a mistake during a presentation.
• Failing to land a new contract.
• Tripping over and landing on their ass in a public place.
• Somebody making a joke, remark or criticism about them in front of a crowd of people.

This is real stormy seas we are entering, but it’s exactly where you will find the narcissist begin their breakdown. 

If they’re going to end up being embarrassed, you’re going to be sure there’s going to be an emotional fallout as a result. 

And I bet the first thing they will do is blame you, or yell at you, right? Does it sound familiar?

Of course it does! They can’t stand to be a target, that’s usually what they do to other people, isn’t it?

#2 Being Exposed or Called Out

You’ve found out who they are deep underneath that thick, sickly layer of pretence. And guess what? You’ve outed them, or somebody you know has. 

Finally, the tables have turned and you are seeing reality rise from the darkness of toxicity. You can always count on the truth coming out eventually, but it will trigger a breakdown. 

They will deny almost to the point where their heads will explode. 

They will accuse you of being the one to blame – possibly even the narcissist. What a joke that’d be for you!

Calling out a narcissist is a pretty brave thing to do, as it will nearly always result in losing people in your circle of family or friends. 

But you know, sometimes they do it all by themselves. They are more careless than you think!

When the time comes where you notice the breakdown – I would advise you to take cover and let them ride out their own waes of misery by themselves.

They don’t deserve help or support. 

#3 Not Being the Center of Attention

I want you to take yourself out of this for a moment, and think about the solar system.

You’ve got the sun, the planets, the moons. The center of everything is our sun. Everything else revolves around it and a hurtling speed. 

If I were to draw a picture of your social dynamics, I would put the narcissist at the center of it. Which is ironic really, isn’t it? That somebody else is the ‘main star’ in your story; your life? 

If the narcissist isn’t taking up what spot, they will make your life hell. They hate it. They are not a side dish, they are the main course. 

But in truth, they don’t deserve that place, and they do nothing healthy to maintain a good position there. As soon as you take them away, they will have a breakdown. 

And this is the interesting part – because when you really look at why, it’s because you don’t need them to take center spot. You have finally decided to put yourself there, and place your priorities over theirs. 

It’s a powerful place to be, isn’t it?

#4 Losing Control Over Someone

Cue the loss of control!

You put yourself first, and the narcissist makes it an actual problem. Imagine being in such a place that your wellbeing is an issue for somebody who claims to care about you?

All those years of bullying you, making you feel foolish, being the reason you lose yourself – and now they have the nerve to break down over you saying no more. 

The control was always yours, but you were too kind to see that you deserved it for yourself. That coupled with a total loss of self-worth – yeah – they pulled the strings for a while.

As soon as you get that control back, the narcissist will spin out and lose it. 

That should never be your permission to hand it back. Keep up with your promise to yourself. 

#5 Seeing You Thrive Without Them

There comes a moment where you reject all the ideas the narcissist had for you, and replace them with your own. 

Where there was once laughter at a hobby, you’re beginning to explore it all over again. 

Where there was once a snigger at that dress you wore, you’re wearing it without so much as a slight hunch.

Where you once scrolled past that job opening because you were told you weren’t clever enough for it, you’re clicking and applying. 

It feels good, doesn’t it? And yes, it is strange to finally make choices that align with your goals, your heart, your own self, but you’re doing it.

And they watch from afar, breaking down at the sight of you thriving and living your best life. 

#6 Rejection or Abandonment

Narcissists are fearful of rejection and abandonment. They see it as a sign that they’re not liked, or not worthy.

Hiding it well, they pretend to be the biggest person in the room all the time, and the most successful. Strip it all away, and you’re left with a scared person.

They hate the thought of somebody leaving them because it will reaffirm what they think about themselves underneath it all – that they’re unlovable. 

Instead of being honest with themselves, they project all of that onto you, hence why you lose yourself so much in their presence.

It’s time to shake it up. Allow them to fall into their breakdown…

While you get your life back. 

DO THIS To Get Under The Skin Of a Narcissist

Have you ever wanted to get under a narcissist’s skin? Let me tell you, it’s easier than you think!

Narcissists thrive on control and being admired, but there are ways to break through their seemingly tough exterior. 

It’s actually pretty weak!

The key is understanding their weaknesses. Their fragile egos and need for validation lead to a huge fear of being exposed. 

Therefore, using the right tactics can disrupt their game and leave you to take back your power.

Ready to flip the script and watch them squirm?

#1 The Art of Staying Calm

While narcissists think the way to get somebody’s attention is to speak loudly and intimidate them – there’s a lot to be said for remaining calm and collected. Some might say there is an art to it.

Think about it. An argument begins, and you know it has nothing to do with you.

The narcissist entered the room in a certain mood, and was intent on creating noise and drama.

It goes against everything you believe in, yet there you are, experiencing it. 

What choice do you have?

Well, a lot, actually. You have a lot of choices. You can continue to play along and match the pitch. You can cry and allow them to see you being mentally drained before their eyes.

Or…

You can stay calm and let them rage and shout, knowing it has nothing to do with you. Yes, you’re the target, and nobody wants to be.

But…

You’re not the one who has to respond. Nobody does. 

Staying calm throws the narcissist into unfamiliar waters because they’re used to you acting differently.

They don’t have anything to bounce off, like they usually would. Your calm aura is like a door closing on them, and it really gets under their skin. 

Okay.

Uh-huh.

I hear you.

I’m listening, but I will not shout back at you.

I would really appreciate it if you could understand your shouting is not getting us anywhere. 

Staying calm like this is going to shut the narcissist down and pertain to the idea that noise and anger won’t get anybody anywhere.

Once they know they can’t rile you, the annoyance will lie in the new understanding that they can’t gain any supply from you this way. 

#2 Be Firm!

Well, no narcissists like firmness. 

Firmness usually means you have boundaries, and boundaries are something all narcissists hate. They can’t stand to be told which side of the line to stand.

They hate even knowing there is a line in the first place!

When somebody so toxic has been used to walking all over you, it will be a shock to them when you suddenly develop assertiveness.

You will be met with resistance when you lay down what you will no longer put up with. Remember, the narcissist is used to knowing a certain version of you. The version that says yes instead of no.

When you stop with one, and start with the other – you’re going to get right under their skin!

#3 Ignore Them: Refusing To Hand Over Supply

I don’t want you to think that ignoring them is the same as giving them the silent treatment. I don’t believe in treating toxic behavior with equal toxicity – because two wrongs don’t make a right. 

However…

Silence where noise once rested is a way of retaining dignity and class, which may previously have been reverted to supply for them regarding your emotions. 

#4 Stand in Your Truth

There’s really no better place to stand. In your truth, everything makes sense. It’s where you can stand, knowing you are giving it your all and believing in yourself fully. 

It’s where confidence starts to grow and you’ll find a more assertive version of yourself. 

For that very reason, standing in your truth even though the narcissist is trying hard to pull you out of it, is crucial.

#5 Grey Rock 

Have you ever heard of Grey Rock? I am sure by now that so many of you will know what I mean by it, but just in case, let’s get a briefing!

Grey rock is nothing. It means to give the narcissist as little, if anything at all, as possible. You hear them, and you want to respond, but instead, you choose to say, “Okay,” “Sure,” “Uh-huh.”

Your face is calm and emotionless, and there isn’t an ounce of feeling in your voice. 

Giving the narcissist the proverbial grey rock is how you retain your power and give them absolutely nothing to feed from.

Will they like it?

Absolutely not!

But the more you exude it, the smaller they will feel. 

For too long, the narcissist has provoked and triggered you.

It’s time for all of that to stop.

#6 Call Them Out – and Mean it

Hey. What you did back there was wrong. 

Do you realize how you treated that person? You act like you don’t even care.

It was your fault we were late. Even though you had the time written down, you still got here after everybody else. 

You’re trying to be mean to me, but it just won’t work. 

I see what you’re doing, and I want you to know that I don’t fall for it.

Anything where you can throw some assertive statements into the mix without getting sucked into an argument, you should be able to do.

Getting under the skin of a narcissist is how you make what they’re doing almost seem like something to belittle. Narcissists hate being caught out and hate being embarrassed even more!

#7 Start to Thrive Away From Them

If there’s one thing guaranteed to annoy a narcissist – it’s your independence. 

Oh, you’re going out?

Actually, yes I am. I am going out in this outfit, and I look fantastic. You aren’t going to stop me. 

Are you applying for that job? Isn’t it a little out of your reach?

Yes, I am applying for it because, guess what, I am qualified and skilled, and I want to get it.

Thrive. Don’t just thrive a little; thrive like you mean it!

#8 Play By Your Own Rules

It’s probably been a long time since you’ve picked up your copy of the rulebook, but it’s still there.

It may be a little dusty, but now you get to dampen it down and start acting as if you are the main character of your own life. 

Don’t ever let anybody, least of all a narcissist, dictate to you. 

Your rules equate to what you want from life and how you want to go out and fight for it all. 

This is not up for debate!