Narcissists hate a lot of things, right? But there are a handful of nuggets I wanted to share with you today that they really hate.
Beyond simple hatred, they just cannot tell a soul about them – and that’s kind of what makes it fun for us.
It’s like official inside information that you can only gather when you experience a narcissist. As soon as you read these, you will never be able to unlearn them.
I hope you’re ready!
The Hate is There!
Narcissists are infamous for not being able to hold a secret. Be honest with yourself – how many times has the narcissist you know told you something they shouldn’t have?
You will never guess what I heard.
Did you know that…
I bumped into so and so today, and they said…
I have the best gossip for you.
Of course, I wasn’t listening in, but I did hear…
Soon after they spread a few pieces of news, they will go back to protesting their innocence by denying that fact!
But wait – does that mean they tell us their secrets about why they hate life?
Absolutely not! That is when you will see the narcissist’s mouth almost sewn shut. They can’t give out that kind of information!
As for the hate? Well – it’s only going to be about certain aspects of life, isn’t it?
When You’re Not Buying
First up, we have you not buying what the narcissist is selling.
Hating you for opening your eyes to what is true is how they internally panic. The dynamics that have previously worked, suddenly dissipate like a tornado over the midwest US.
There’s nothing left. The narcissist has to start all over again with somebody else.
Which don’t get them wrong here, is doable. But it’s a pain. It’s inconvenient when what they had with you was working so well before.
Asserting yourself and seeing them for who they really are is detested by the narcissist, and they’ll let you know about it.
Having said that – don’t let that stop you from opening those eyes!
Life gains value when you gain insight.
Ignoring Them
Sorry, did you say something?
Oh, never mind. You’re just sounding off yet again.
Blah, blah, blah.
The narcissist is pressing all your buttons, and none are activating your emotional response switch.
That’s because you’ve learned to stop giving them the one thing they want – a fall out!
Fall outs will come, and the narcissist will use those as an opportunity to tell you how terrible you are, or how you never listen, or just how useless a person you can be.
They will fire up all your triggers, mocking you or criticizing anything you do just to use the heat of the moment as an excuse.
Don’t let them play it out.
Ignoring them will cause them to hate life. They will realize the control isn’t in their hands.
Success? Watch Out!
Wow, did you accomplish a goal? DId you cross that line and succeed in that huge project you’ve been working on?
Good for you!
You did it!
I’m saying it because I highly doubt the narcissist is even close to saying it. Rather, they’re hating on you for making life happen and living it how it was meant to be lived.
You’re making things happen for yourself, and you should be proud. If you are, don’t let the hate from the narcissist ruin your day. They can’t help it.
They don’t want you to do well without their input because that proves you can be independent and be fine without them.
And you know what you should do?
You should succeed anyway!
Honestly, my heart drops whenever I hear a person tell me they’ve made themselves smaller or less able because the narcissist in their life is having an impact on their achievements.
I want to say:
Stop it! They are not the boss of you! They can’t do that to you, and you shouldn’t let them!
And sometimes, I do say that.
Being Wrong: Ouch!
Being wrong is the biggest ick for any narcissist. It genuinely gives them a huge shudder down their backbone. They work hard – like it’s some kind of rare craft – to be right.
All the time.
They won’t listen to you if you tell them they’re wrong, but if they’re caught out in public such as work or in a social setting…
…They just want the crow to swallow them up.
It’s a pain they will not forget because it makes old wounds surface.
Those wounds could be, and can include:
- Remembering being told as a kid that they’re wrong.
- Being told that if they aren’t perfect ,they aren’t good enough.
- Being dismissed when they need somebody.
- Learning that love is a weakness, and strength lies in power and controlling of people.
- Hating being mocked, and preferring to be the one doing the mocking.
Being wrong takes away every form of domination the narcissist tries to exert over everybody they interact with.
And that credibility isn’t easily gained back, is it?
They might even (deep breath) be the butt of somebody else’s joke for a long time to come.
Powerlessness is Painful
I often hear about this kind of thing from people who work with narcissists who aren’t in a position of power, yet want to be.
Say you know somebody called Craig at work. Craig wants a promotion, and has been edging towards it for years.
Except, he’s never going to get it. Craig’s boss prefers other employees, but Craig won’t quit.
He tells you:
I have been here long enough.
I know the job better than our boss.
I am going to do that project even if I’ve been told I can’t, just to prove my place.
I don’t care what my boss thinks.
They’re wrong.
They shouldn’t be the boss. They don’t know what I know.
All eye rolling phrases, aren’t they?
Underneath this dire need to be in control is a hurt person who feels unseen. Rather than accept the way it is, or genuinely respect his boss, Craig chooses to constantly overstep and criticize.
Craig is an entitled narcissist.
No wonder he’s not had that promotion!
Emotional Connection = Emotional Damage!
This is probably the most disturbing, because it really affects other people and how they experience relationships.
Maybe the person affected is you.
When a narcissist sees your openness for connection, they review it immediately as being a potential cause for damage.
They don’t want to weaken themselves to your nice words, or create a strong, emotional bond between you.
They don’t trust you because they’ve never been taught what trust looks like.
They want your loyalty, but they don’t want your love. They’re actually quite intimidated by the thought of you loving them the way you say you do.
Can you imagine what this kind of inner war must be like for them?
To always be in such a place that they can’t even see love as a good thing must be a really lonely place to be, but you have to take it for what it is.
Unfortunately, narcissists hate this part of life, and will avoid your connection attempts at every chance they get.
