Narcissists hate a lot of things, right? But there are a handful of nuggets I wanted to share with you today that they really hate.

Beyond simple hatred, they just cannot tell a soul about them – and that’s kind of what makes it fun for us.

It’s like official inside information that you can only gather when you experience a narcissist. As soon as you read these, you will never be able to unlearn them.

I hope you’re ready!

The Hate is There!

Narcissists are infamous for not being able to hold a secret. Be honest with yourself – how many times has the narcissist you know told you something they shouldn’t have?

You will never guess what I heard.

Did you know that…

I bumped into so and so today, and they said…

I have the best gossip for you.

Of course, I wasn’t listening in, but I did hear…

Soon after they spread a few pieces of news, they will go back to protesting their innocence by denying that fact!

But wait – does that mean they tell us their secrets about why they hate life?

Absolutely not! That is when you will see the narcissist’s mouth almost sewn shut. They can’t give out that kind of information!

As for the hate? Well – it’s only going to be about certain aspects of life, isn’t it?

When You’re Not Buying

First up, we have you not buying what the narcissist is selling.

Hating you for opening your eyes to what is true is how they internally panic. The dynamics that have previously worked, suddenly dissipate like a tornado over the midwest US.

There’s nothing left. The narcissist has to start all over again with somebody else.

Which don’t get them wrong here, is doable. But it’s a pain. It’s inconvenient when what they had with you was working so well before. 

Asserting yourself and seeing them for who they really are is detested by the narcissist, and they’ll let you know about it. 

Having said that – don’t let that stop you from opening those eyes! 

Life gains value when you gain insight.

Ignoring Them

Sorry, did you say something?

Oh, never mind. You’re just sounding off yet again. 

Blah, blah, blah. 

The narcissist is pressing all your buttons, and none are activating your emotional response switch.

That’s because you’ve learned to stop giving them the one thing they want – a fall out!

Fall outs will come, and the narcissist will use those as an opportunity to tell you how terrible you are, or how you never listen, or just how useless a person you can be. 

They will fire up all your triggers, mocking you or criticizing anything you do just to use the heat of the moment as an excuse.

Don’t let them play it out. 

Ignoring them will cause them to hate life. They will realize the control isn’t in their hands. 

Success? Watch Out!

Wow, did you accomplish a goal? DId you cross that line and succeed in that huge project you’ve been working on?

Good for you!

You did it!

I’m saying it because I highly doubt the narcissist is even close to saying it. Rather, they’re hating on you for making life happen and living it how it was meant to be lived. 

You’re making things happen for yourself, and you should be proud. If you are, don’t let the hate from the narcissist ruin your day. They can’t help it. 

They don’t want you to do well without their input because that proves you can be independent and be fine without them. 

And you know what you should do?

You should succeed anyway!

Honestly, my heart drops whenever I hear a person tell me they’ve made themselves smaller or less able because the narcissist in their life is having an impact on their achievements. 

I want to say:

Stop it! They are not the boss of you! They can’t do that to you, and you shouldn’t let them!

And sometimes, I do say that. 

Being Wrong: Ouch!

Being wrong is the biggest ick for any narcissist. It genuinely gives them a huge shudder down their backbone. They work hard – like it’s some kind of rare craft – to be right. 

All the time.

They won’t listen to you if you tell them they’re wrong, but if they’re caught out in public such as work or in a social setting…

…They just want the crow to swallow them up. 

It’s a pain they will not forget because it makes old wounds surface. 

Those wounds could be, and can include:

• Remembering being told as a kid that they’re wrong.
• Being told that if they aren’t perfect ,they aren’t good enough.
• Being dismissed when they need somebody.
• Learning that love is a weakness, and strength lies in power and controlling of people. 
• Hating being mocked, and preferring to be the one doing the mocking. 

Being wrong takes away every form of domination the narcissist tries to exert over everybody they interact with. 

And that credibility isn’t easily gained back, is it? 

They might even (deep breath) be the butt of somebody  else’s joke for a long time to come. 

Powerlessness is Painful

I often hear about this kind of thing from people who work with narcissists who aren’t in a position of power, yet want to be. 

Say you know somebody called Craig at work. Craig wants a promotion, and has been edging towards it for years. 

Except, he’s never going to get it. Craig’s boss prefers other employees, but Craig won’t quit.

He tells you:

I have been here long enough.

I know the job better than our boss.

I am going to do that project even if I’ve been told I can’t, just to prove my place.

I don’t care what my boss thinks.

They’re wrong.

They shouldn’t be the boss. They don’t know what I know.

All eye rolling phrases, aren’t they?

Underneath this dire need to be in control is a hurt person who feels unseen. Rather than accept the way it is, or genuinely respect his boss, Craig chooses to constantly overstep and criticize.

Craig is an entitled narcissist.

No wonder he’s not had that promotion!

Emotional Connection = Emotional Damage!

This is probably the most disturbing, because it really affects other people and how they experience relationships. 

Maybe the person affected  is you. 

When a narcissist sees your openness for connection, they review it immediately as being a potential cause for damage. 

They don’t want to weaken themselves to your nice words, or create a strong, emotional bond between you.

They don’t trust you because they’ve never been taught what trust looks like.

They want your loyalty, but they don’t want your love. They’re actually quite intimidated by the thought of you loving them the way you say you do.

Can you imagine what this kind of inner war must be like for them?

To always be in such a place that they can’t even see love as a good thing must be a really lonely place to be, but you have to take it for what it is. 

Unfortunately, narcissists hate this part of life, and will avoid your connection attempts at every chance they get. 

What Narcissists Really Think About You?

You should never sit in the seat of certainty when it comes to any narcissist.

You will never be there for long, because you were instead destined for confusion.

Narcissists think and act differently, depending on their mood that day. If they feel like it, they will be nice.

If they’re nice, it’ll be because they want something from you.

If they’re not nice, it’s because they need your supply. They like to see you suffer.

Knowing what they really think about you will give you an idea of their true character…

…And it’s not good.

You Think You Know Them?

Nobody ever really knows the narcissist. The only person who knows them is them. 

I don’t think it’s ever really wise to assume you know everything there is to know about somebody so toxic.

After all, they love to change the goalposts so much that as soon as you feel you have them pegged, they change and shift the tides to suit themselves.

The same can be said for what they really think about you.

Living Your Best Life, Until…

They come along!

It’s the same with all narcissists. You’re happy until you realize what you’ve gotten yourself into. 

Isn’t it a shame to think that the narcissist, somebody who claims to have your best interests at heart, treats you the way they do?

How can somebody who says such loving things never ever prove that love in any healthy way at all?

Underneath Their Act Lies Jealousy

It’s okay to be a little envious in life. It’s a natural response to somebody having what you would love to have.

For example, your friend could have bought themselves a new holiday cabin with a view.

Darn. I would love that. I am so envious you get to go there!

That’s where it ends, though, right?

I mean – you have a choice. You can work hard to earn the money for one. You can ask to stay there if you paid your way for the week.

Narcissists don’t get envious – they rage with jealousy.

They detest all the good in the lives of others and will resent you for what you have.

Is that normal?

Nope!

Is that right?

Absolutely not!

“Look At You, All Happy. That’ll Have To Stop…”

They hate your happiness. It acts like a plague on them. They want to cut it off as quickly as they can, so they’ll do what it takes to ensure any joy is fleeting.

How dare they smile and have things go their way?!

The confusing part for you is that you think they love you. You automatically think they’ll be happy when you receive good news, but it couldn’t be further from the truth. 

Any happiness is bound to come from something or somebody other than them. That’s a major threat. How could you allow that?!

Derailing your happiness can take various forms: mocking you until you stop, criticizing you until you no longer believe in yourself, or shaming you until guilt about your own happiness eats you up. 

I could go on forever. 

Imagine being around somebody who loathes seeing you content that much.

“I Can Get Away With Anything!”

Forgiveness is an act undertaken by people who can see the bigger picture. They want peace and understand that people make mistakes. 

Asking for forgiveness can alter how you view your mistakes if that forgiveness is going to be abused later on. 

Those who are genuine in being sorry know they will not repeat what they did to hurt the other person. That’s how it generally goes, right?

Narcissists don’t care. They truly don’t. They will repeatedly offend, time and time again. 

They know they’ve got several love-bombing tricks up their sleeves that have proven very efficient so far. 

There’s no reason why those things won’t work all over again.

And you know what? All the while you continue to forgive, they will continue to offend. 

They Don’t Love You

I know it’s a tough pill to swallow. Knowing you aren’t loved takes a lot of hard work because, for the most part, you feel in complete denial. 

Of course, they love me. They tell me they do.

I know they love me. They wouldn’t have taken me on that expensive trip if they didn’t. 

You learn the value of love to only be at the currency the narcissist sets.

Love isn’t a currency. It doesn’t ebb or flow. It remains. 

I know it’s hard to admit to be true. All that emotional work you put into the relationship. All the ways you were vulnerable and shared your life with them. 

I speak truthfully when I tell you it was all a ploy to get you to play their game. 

Threatened By Your Success…

If a narcissist sees your success, they’re going to want and need to put a stop to it immediately. 

Your success can be compared to a competition you don’t even realize you’re in.

You’re exceeding, and the judges have their eye on you. Only the narcissist is also taking part, and the judges aren’t even looking their way at all. 

The anger. The resentment. The envy. It will all spill over the surface.

So, what does the narcissist do? When nobody is watching, they will sabotage what you are making or creating so that you fall down in the competition rankings.

They may even steal what you have and use it for themselves.

That’ll get them noticed!

They can’t stand to see you getting the attention. To them, you don’t deserve happiness because it isn’t something they’re personally gaining for themselves. 

What a dangerous and toxic trait to have, right?

Well… welcome to the world of narcissists.

…Pleased When You Fail!

The party poppers would be popping constantly if the narcissist had their way. When you fail, it’s not something they necessarily or overtly laugh about (although that can happen).

Instead, they will quietly smirk in the corner of a darkened room. They don’t want others to see their joy, but that won’t stop them from feeling it.

You’d think somebody who claimed to care about you would be falling over themselves with concern if you are down, sad, failing, or having a terrible day.

Nope.

Narcissists love it. They love seeing you fall because when you do, you land at the bottom of the heap, exactly where the narcissist resides. 

Knowing they have company makes them feel better, and seeing your misery or disappointment will ensure a huge grin is plastered all over their faces—difficult to wipe off.