Narcissists will never openly admit to regretting certain things. Don’t get me wrong – there will be times they will openly wish things could have been differently – but interestingly – this will be for select ears only.
I want to delve into the world of narcissism and their lack of regret – it’s such a colorful blend of realization and enlightenment for the people on the receiving end.
People like you.
I wish I could…
I wish I had…
It’s such a shame that…
Why couldn’t I have…
You’ll never hear these phrases (unless they are self-serving).
Want to know more?
Look no further!
Regrets and You vs. Regrets and the Narcissist
I’ve always considered regrets to be a fairly useless concept in the sense that you can’t go back in time and change something you wished you’d done differently.
However, that’s not to say regrets can’t be converted into goals for your future.
You didn’t do something quite how you’d hoped you could have, but there’s a chance now to redeem yourself… Things like that. When you treat regrets as though they are life lessons, you can view them in a more ‘in control’ manner.
Isn’t it good, though? To look back and say yeah, you know what? I am going to make that better now rather than dwell on it.
Narcissists don’t do this. Not now – not ever. They never look at themselves or their worlds as potential spaces for improvement or change.
Why would they?
They already think they’re perfect as they are.
I know we could all agree – they could do with regretting a thing or two!
6 Regrets Narcissists Never Have
You’ll never see a narcissist regretting these 6 things.
#1 Not Being a Better Person
Why would a narcissist regret not being a better person when they already think they’re the best thing in the world?
Nobody rises above them. They sit at the top of the league of people, and that’s how they like it.
Being a better person would be to live among others in an equal manner, giving and taking, compromising and keeping promises.
You know – the things us emotionally healthy people do each and every day.
Narcissists simply do not know what that’s like, and they never will.
As far as the narcissist is concerned, they are a fine, kind and upstanding citizen. They’re a good person, and they believe everybody should agree with this.
If you don’t, then you’re considered the bad guy.
#2 Not Spending More Time and Less Money
It’s common for narcissists to spend more money on something or somebody rather than time. Time is what we all rave with the people we love, and time cannot be earned. It just comes and goes, and we lose it once it’s passed.
For them, they don’t care. Narcissists would rather throw money at you than spend real time getting to know you and building a loving and trusting relationship. I know for me personally, time with family, friends and loved ones is priceless. Ask a narcissist if they agree, and they’ll probably laugh in your face.
Part of the value of regret is that you can realize the mistakes you’ve made, and how you can use the present time to correct them, if at all possible.
Narcissists won’t do any of that, and will go as far as blaming you for suggesting they need to.
#3 How They Treated You
As it stands, narcissists are some of the cruelest people on the planet. I know the word has been injected more and more into society the last few years, especially when referring to one too many selfies, or certain celebrities.
Let this not be a sign to you to forget the true meaning of narcissists, and how toxic they can be. They’re destructive, they have zero remorse, and they will repeatedly abuse you in as many ways as possible while simultaneously getting away with it.
If a person has a healthy response to criticism, they will be able to look at themselves and how they’ve treated you, wanting to make it up to you.
They’re genuine about it.
They apologize.
They take full responsibility.
And most importantly, the thing that upset you doesn’t happen again.
The narcissistic personality doesn’t know how to do any of that, because they aren’t wired to regret how they treat you.
#4 Speaking Ill of People
Every time a narcissist speaks ill of others, there’s something in it for them. They love to stir the pot, cause conflict within the people they know, then sit back and watch the fireworks.
They maintain their innocence throughout because they don’t want to be known a a troublemakers. Some narcissists love to even dive right in and try to fix what they created, just to look good!
If a narcissist is talking negatively about anybody, it’s because there is always some kind of motive. They want the person they’re talking to, to feel or react a certain way. They’re hoping there can be some kind of catalyst for that person to pass on the negative talk, and frame themselves as the one to blame for the initial gossip.
That all being said – can you see any reason why a narcissist would feel even slightly bad for speaking ill of people?
Of course not!
It’s part of their game plan, and it is intended to lift the lid on how far others will go to grow the seeds of negativity the narcissist has planted.
#5 Putting Themselves First
Why on earth would anybody ever think a narcissist would regret putting themselves first? Narcissists were born to put themselves before and above everybody else – even including their children.
They don’t regret it because they see themselves as Numero Uno.
Narcissists who are able to say:
I should have been there more for you.
I wish I had done that for you instead of always thinking of me.
I can be really selfish sometimes.
…are not narcissists. These comments offer empathy or an insight into what it would be like to think of others.
Narcissists thinking of others?
Forget it!
#6 The Choices They Make
Generally speaking, narcissists aren’t going to look back and regret the choices they made. Doing so would mean they have the ability to self-reflect, and think of better ways something could have turned out.
As that isn’t likely, they cannot regret a thing.
In your eyes, you might be looking to them for a little honesty, but it’s not possible with a narcissist.
They own their choices, and they stick to what they know to be best or true – even if they are swimming in a sea of chaos because of it.
Everything’s cool – “I regret nothing.”
