Narcissists will never openly admit to regretting certain things. Don’t get me wrong – there will be times they will openly wish things could have been differently – but interestingly – this will be for select ears only.
I want to delve into the world of narcissism and their lack of regret – it’s such a colorful blend of realization and enlightenment for the people on the receiving end.
People like you.
I wish I could…
I wish I had…
It’s such a shame that…
Why couldn’t I have…
You’ll never hear these phrases (unless they are self-serving).
Want to know more?
Look no further!
Regrets and You vs. Regrets and the Narcissist
I’ve always considered regrets to be a fairly useless concept in the sense that you can’t go back in time and change something you wished you’d done differently.
However, that’s not to say regrets can’t be converted into goals for your future.
You didn’t do something quite how you’d hoped you could have, but there’s a chance now to redeem yourself… Things like that. When you treat regrets as though they are life lessons, you can view them in a more ‘in control’ manner.
Isn’t it good, though? To look back and say yeah, you know what? I am going to make that better now rather than dwell on it.
Narcissists don’t do this. Not now – not ever. They never look at themselves or their worlds as potential spaces for improvement or change.
Why would they?
They already think they’re perfect as they are.
I know we could all agree – they could do with regretting a thing or two!
6 Regrets Narcissists Never Have
You’ll never see a narcissist regretting these 6 things.
#1 Not Being a Better Person
Why would a narcissist regret not being a better person when they already think they’re the best thing in the world?
Nobody rises above them. They sit at the top of the league of people, and that’s how they like it.
Being a better person would be to live among others in an equal manner, giving and taking, compromising and keeping promises.
You know – the things we emotionally healthy people do daily.
Narcissists simply do not know what that’s like, and they never will.
The narcissist is a fine, kind, and upstanding citizen. They’re a good person, and they believe everybody should agree with this.
If you don’t, then you’re considered the bad guy.
#2 Not Spending More Time and Less Money
It’s common for narcissists to spend more money on something or somebody rather than time. Time is what we all rave with the people we love, and time cannot be earned. It just comes and goes, and we lose it once it’s passed.
For them, they don’t care. Narcissists would rather throw money at you than spend real time getting to know you and building a loving and trusting relationship.
I know for me personally, time with family, friends and loved ones is priceless. Ask a narcissist if they agree, and they’ll probably laugh in your face.
Part of the value of regret is that you can realize the mistakes you’ve made, and how you can use the present time to correct them, if at all possible.
Narcissists won’t do any of that, and will go as far as blaming you for suggesting they need to.
#3 How They Treated You
As it stands, narcissists are some of the cruelest people on the planet. I know the word has been injected more and more into society the last few years, especially when referring to one too many selfies, or certain celebrities.
Let this not be a sign to you to forget the true meaning of narcissists, and how toxic they can be. They’re destructive, they have zero remorse, and they will repeatedly abuse you in as many ways as possible while simultaneously getting away with it.
If a person has a healthy response to criticism, they will be able to look at themselves and how they’ve treated you, wanting to make it up to you.
They’re genuine about it.
They apologize.
They take full responsibility.
And most importantly, the thing that upset you doesn’t happen again.
The narcissistic personality doesn’t know how to do any of that, because they aren’t wired to regret how they treat you.
#4 Speaking Ill of People
Every time a narcissist speaks ill of others, there’s something in it for them. They love to stir the pot, cause conflict within the people they know, then sit back and watch the fireworks.
They maintain their innocence throughout because they don’t want to be known a a troublemakers. Some narcissists love to even dive right in and try to fix what they created, just to look good!
If a narcissist is talking negatively about anybody, it’s because there is always some kind of motive.
They want the person they’re talking to, to feel or react a certain way.
They’re hoping there can be some kind of catalyst for that person to pass on the negative talk, and frame themselves as the one to blame for the initial gossip.
That all being said – can you see any reason why a narcissist would feel even slightly bad for speaking ill of people?
Of course not!
It’s part of their game plan, and it is intended to lift the lid on how far others will go to grow the seeds of negativity the narcissist has planted.
#5 Putting Themselves First
Why on earth would anybody ever think a narcissist would regret putting themselves first? Narcissists were born to put themselves before and above everybody else – even including their children.
They don’t regret it because they see themselves as Numero Uno.
Narcissists who are able to say:
I should have been there more for you.
I wish I had done that for you instead of always thinking of me.
I can be really selfish sometimes.
…are not narcissists. These comments offer empathy or an insight into what it would be like to think of others.
Narcissists thinking of others?
Forget it!
#6 The Choices They Make
Generally speaking, narcissists aren’t going to look back and regret the choices they made. Doing so would mean they can self-reflect and think of better ways something could have turned out.
As that isn’t likely, they cannot regret a thing.
In your eyes, you might be looking to them for a little honesty, but it’s not possible with a narcissist.
They own their choices and stick to what they know to be best or true—even if they are swimming in a sea of chaos because of it.
Everything’s cool – “I regret nothing.”
7 Narcissist Hobbies that are Instant Red Flags
Hobbies are great, right? I mean, we all have them. We pass the time doing things we love – and it’s good for the soul.
Narcissists also have hobbies but aren’t always necessarily what you might expect. These hobbies are often for self-gain in different ways than the usual pottery or yoga class.
Nope. These hobbies are huge red flags.
The hobbies of a narcissist are designed to improve and maintain their image solely.
Let’s take a look at 7 hobbies of a narcissist that are instant red flags.
#1 Exterior House Improvements
Wow, what a beautiful house!
I love what you’ve done with the place!
It looks amazing – you’re so talented.
You have such an eye for colors and visions.
Yadda, yadda. Undoubtedly, anything that involves making improvements to the outside of the house will gain attention from others.
Narcissists love this. They love to be seen up a ladder with a paintbrush or building new fences. Neighbors will be drawn to coming over and asking them questions bout what they’re doing and say things like:
I don’t know how you find the time to fit it all in.
You’re obviously somebody who takes pride in where they live.
Good on you for wanting to make your home a nice place to live.
These comments will fill the narcissist with the assurance that they are good people. It will almost be like validation for them – and the narcissist is going to lap up every word.
They don’t actually care about painting. If they could leave it, they would.
But…
They have an image to maintain.
#2 Lavishly Decorating for Holidays
When the holidays roll around, whatever they may be, the narcissist will want to have the biggest and best decorations imaginable.
Cutting short of being completely tasteless, they will bring the particular holiday to life and use these decorations to get people excited. Most holiday decorations bring out the inner child in us all. Narcissists love it the most when children’s eyes light up.
Children are some of the most impressionable people on the planet. Their innocent natures just see people for face value, and anyone who smiles and has bright lights or fun decorations outside their house has to be a fun person, too!
#3 Spending Time on Dating Apps “For Fun”
You’re going to cringe at this one, but it’s a fact that narcissists ‘use dating apps for fun.’
Many who are in relationships will openly admit to having them on their phone to their partners because they see it as a hobby.
Narcissists are some of the most judgemental people on the planet. They feel they have the god given right to be able to look at others through a critical lens just because.
What does that mean for you?
Frequently, you can find them on dating apps, laughing to themselves, maybe even showing you!
Look at this person, who would want them?
Well, they’re far too good for this site.
They’ll tell you it’s fun, but for you, it’ll only make your self-esteem dip. How can someone be so critical of others based on their looks? What does that mean for you?
Having dating apps on their phone is a huge red flag for any spouse. To be so brazen to use them in front of you and treat it like a big joke is really quite insensitive and disturbing.
Narcissists to a tee!
#4 Whatever ‘You’ Like to Do
Mirroring is a classic narcissistic tactic. They tend to jump on your bandwagon of loves, passions and hobbies to get you to think you ‘have everything in common.’
Oh really? I love that band too!
I’ve always been interested in hiking!
I love to take time to meditate every day. It’s so good for my mental health.
Little by little, you will think about how much you are suited.
Mirroring is actually a way to get you to feel a certain attachment toward the narcissist. It’s helpful to them to know you are invested in them, so the likelihood of you leaving becomes pretty much non-existent.
Prepare for red flags to fly high when you spot someone loving everything you love. It’s actually nice to meet someone with whom you have one or two mutual hobbies. It’s also nice to know you like different things, so you can maintain your independence and identity.
Narcissists don’t want that for you.
#5 Working Out Obsessively
Exercise is healthy. We are constantly told to keep our bodies and minds as healthy as possible because life, right?
If you meet someone totally obsessed with going to the gym, but beyond that, obsessed with their image in unfathomable ways – watch for what that means.
It’s good to know that a person is taking care of themselves but not to the point where it’s all they do. Constantly checking themselves in the mirror and loving themselves means deep insecurities exist.
While insecurities don’t solely point to narcissism, they indicate a level of unhealthiness. Red flags are born here.
The gym isn’t a narcissistic place, but narcissists are known to congregate here because of all the compliments they would receive as a result of constant working out.
They love the guts, they love the glory.
#6 Gambling
I don’t want to create a strong link between narcissists and gambling, but there is an addictive link between the two that can be a red flag.
Narcissists have an addictive personality. Their personalities lean heavily to addictions to wealth, power, status or fame.
Maybe even all!
They exaggerate their achievements and crave admiration and praise from others daily.
So then let’s look at how addictive this can all be, and how damaging it is to like something such as gambling.
If you meet somebody who is known for enjoying gambling to the point where they’d consider it a hobby…
It’s time to see it as a red flag.
#7 Using Their Own Narcissistic Habits Like Hobbies
This one may not appear too obvious at first, but think about it.
We do a lot of what we tend to like, right?
Suppose the narcissist in your life spends a lot of time criticizing, belittling, punishing, exerting their power, and generally being unpleasant. In that case, it will be a red flag you can’t ignore.
Narcissists love to get stuck in other people’s business. They love to ridicule and tear down friends, family, or even strangers and acquaintances.
They enjoy it so much that barely a moment goes by where they can resist.
Noticing this really brings out the ugly in that narcissist (if it wasn’t already obviously in vision…)
Look out for these crass displays – and avoid them as a result.
