6 Reasons Why Relationships With Narcissists Will Never Work

Do you think your love story with the narcissist is going to defy all the odds? Maybe you think:

This is going to be different.

I can change them.

They say they love me, it’s going to work.

I hate to say it – but it won’t. The relationship will present the same issues as every other with a narcissist.

The moment you start a relationship with a narcissist, you’re going to feel as though you are buckling up for the world’s worst roller coaster. You can get off though.

I want to give you 8 reasons why it’ll never work in a relationship with a narcissist. 8 reasons to run for the hills before they’ve had a chance to charm you.

You’ve been warned!

Why Narcissistic Love is Destined to Fail

If you think you’ve entered into a relationship with the world’s kindest, most charming person, it’s because the narcissist wants you to think that.

Narcissists will give you exactly what you want in the beginning. It will feel like you’re in a movie, and everything will be perfect.

The charm is irresistible, and as you get to know each other, you’ll believe and likely be told this is ‘end game.’

No, it isn’t. It’s the beginning of a very different, very toxic game. 

Relationships with narcissists are impossible to stand the test of time because no love on the planet can out run that of abuse.

Being fooled into believing anything else will only set you up for a major fall. 

Narcissists aren’t in it to please you – only themselves

6 Reasons Why Relationships With Narcissists Will Never Work

So let’s draw your attention to 8 reasons why relationships with narcissists will never work. 

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And please, no matter what you think, it really will never work.

#1 The Eventual Infidelity

Narcissists are known to get bored very easily, and just as quickly. It’s in their deranged character to always want to be chasing what you or I would know was ‘what you can’t have.’ Being in a relationship means being committed to that person.

Narcissists have never operated this way. Whether it’s becoming friends with somebody online and engaging in inappropriate conversations, or meeting up with exes. It can also mean just going out for an evening with friends, and flirting or being physically involved with other people. 

Narcissists will find life outside of you, whether you like it or not. Not in the same ways, but definitely in ways that boost their confidence. Remember they’re looking for constant supply. If you aren’t around, they’ll happily source that elsewhere. 

#2 Their Jealousy Will Become Unbearable

Underneath the crispy coating of a narcissist lies insecurities that are too big to list. 

The one thing about them is their inability to hide their jealousy. They cannot deal with being made to feel threatened. If you are out, and you spot a friend or a work colleague, you will probably want to say hi. Maybe even a conversation, including trying to involve your narcissistic partner. 

They won’t like it. For them, they have to stomach watching two people ‘fawn over each other’ while they stand there like some spare part. 

They won’t like it if you lose weight, or get a dress that invites compliments from others. 

They will despise you getting a job that pays more than they get. 

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If you pass your exams, they will hate knowing you’re getting attention and praise, which should be theirs and not yours. 

Any little thing that draws attention away from them, and makes them feel less of a person is going to cause unhealthy levels of jealousy.

It’s nothing you’re doing wrong – it’s how the narcissist secretly views themselves as not good enough. 

#3 You’ll Lose Yourself

Losing yourself to a narcissist is inevitable. 

It’s done very subtly over a period of time, but always involves constant criticism, having any decisions you might want to make be refused, being undermined, and experiencing the withholding of love and affection. 

I mean, I ‘m not kidding when I saw this is literally the tip of the iceberg. 

Narcissists are infamous for gaslighting, so it won’t take long before a person loses their opinions in the void of abuse. As this happens, the erosion of your self-confidence will soon follow.

Before you know it, you’ve totally lost yourself. 

#4 They Will Never Give You What They Want

Narcissists love to ‘future fake.’ They will promise you the world and offer nothing but a crumb of bread. The love they  say they have for you is going to be built on lies and huge extensions of the truth.

It’s done to keep you hooked, waiting for the miracle that never arrives. Part of their game plan is to make you believe they think you’re the one for them. It’s enough for you to form an unhealthy attachment – finally, you feel loved and wanted – but it’s not real.

As time goes by, you’ll realize this more and more, and the relationship will soon amount to nothing. 

See also  What is Future Faking and Why Do Narcissists Do It?

#5 They Won’t Change

Whenever I speak to survivors of narcissistic abuse, they always tell me:

Alexander, I thought they’d change. I thought they’d love me enough to want to be different. 

You think they’re going to know love, but they never will. You hope they see you for who you are someday, but they just can’t. 

Narcissist relationships are all eventual dead ends. The road you drive to get there can be long and lonely. Every now and then you’ll stop at a great service station, and think, ‘Actually, it’s not so bad.’ 

Unfortunately, this doesn’t stop the dead end from being a dead end.

#6 Lack of Intimate Availability

Relationships rely on intimacy. Emotional, physical, or mental – there needs to be a level of connection there, right? Otherwise, it’s just a friendship. 

Narcissists aren’t anti-sex, but they are unable to reveal any vulnerability to them. It’s seen as a weakness, which goes against the facade they’re trying to portray to the world. 

Over time, lack of intimacy will affect those who see it as an integral part of a relationship, and they’ll then start to suffer. 

Love’s Dead End: Grieving What You Never Got

It’s hard to grieve what you once thought was your happy-ever-after. Grief takes time, and nothing is ever really the same afterward.

To get to a palace where  you know there’s no future with somebody means you have to pick yourself up and start all over again.

I can’t stress this enough: this is possible. You can find somebody who loves and appreciates you. 

And I know you will – just not with a narcissist. 

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