I know it’s not in you to want to see people suffer, and I am sure you’d never want to do anything on purpose to cause pain or misery.

The difference here is that the narcissist’s pain and suffering is nothing but a dent or two to their ego. They’re unable to feel real pain like you or I – but trust me…

They still suffer.

So where is the proof that this can happen?

I’ve got 6 right here that will blow your mind.

Intentional? Or Not…

I don’t believe you’d ever intentionally do anything to make the narcissist suffer. 

Good people want good things in life, and good people want to see good outcomes. 

Suffering is as painful to watch as much as it is painful to feel, and I know you’re the kind of person who just wants to see peace everywhere.

I don’t blame you.

Sadly, the narcissist isn’t wired that way. They will choose to make you miserable just to make themselves feel briefly better. 

And that happiness in them never lasts, which is why they are constantly doing bad things to the people they claim to care about. 

It’s a constant cycle of abuse and supply. 

And you’re the one suffering. 

But what happens when the narcissist suffers? Dented pride. Jealousy – whatever the cause – there’s a consequence. 

#1 The Smear Campaign Begins

Smear campaigns are nasty – and they can get really dark.

The problem most victims of any narcissist understands is that there is a lot to recover from when it comes to smear campaigns.

They aren’t just going to come and go; they can last a long time. And it’s how you respond to them that makes all the difference.

I’ll give you an example.

If your toxic ex started to tell your friends that you actually never liked them, and they stopped talking to you, what does it tell you about the entire situation?

For starters, it should tell you that your ex is an absolute narcissist and should be avoided at all costs.

You’d realize that they’re just suffering without you and no longer having you to control and manipulate.

Not only that – the part that’s supposed to hurt you will  hurt you – but it should tell you another truth.

That truth is that your friends clearly were never your friends to begin with. 

If they can believe the narcissist over you, then they’re giving you zero credit for anything they know about you.

Yes – narcissists can be incredibly persuasive, but that shouldn’t mean your friends don’t want to hear you out, or cut you out entirely. 

This is a classic case of the trash taking itself out. 

#2 Their New Supply Looks Just Like You

Oh dear. Could they make it any more obvious that they’re suffering big time without you?

And no, that doesn’t mean they love and miss you. It doesn’t mean they regret losing you or treating you how they did. It doesn’t mean they are truly sorry and seeking some kind of closure.

It means they found somebody who reminds them of you, and they want a repeat of what they just had.

They’re suffering without knowing they can turn to you and take any supply they want. You’ve stopped dishing it out, and they have no idea where they’re going to go from here.

I guess they look like they’ve gone onto your clone – but I would bet all I had it won’t have a happy ending either. 

Boo hoo. 

#3 They Pretend You Never Mattered

It’s a cruel way to punish somebody who has a genuinely good heart – but narcissists are narcissists. 

If they’re suffering, they’re going to break hell onto you and pretend as though you never mattered in the first place. It’s unkind, but I mean, we’re dealing with narcissists here, so it’s going to be unsurprising. 

Narcissists will act like this to save face. They are hurting and underneath the guise of indifference, they will be feeling it.

After all, they just lost somebody who gave them a good dose of supply on a daily basis, and now they have nothing. 

Pretending you never mattered will put them back in the driving seat. If they showed their fear of being alone, they’d be at your mercy in some way, or so they think.

They just can’t have that, so it’s much easier to expel this approach to act above you, and already over you. 

#4 They Try to Hoover You Back

Before you go, the narcissist has one more thing they want to try and do. You’ll be familiar with it, because it’s how they got you to be with them initially.

The hoover.

They want to pull you toward them – quite literally – to try to keep you from leaving.

That might look like:

• Sending you the songs that remind them of you.
• Talking about memories you made together (the odd good one, that is…)
• Sending you flowers or gestures of ‘love’
• Trying to meet you or bump into you where they know you will be 
• Offering you hard-to-resist invite,s like tickets to see your favorite band in concert or a vacation
• Pretending they’ve changed and that they won’t hurt you again – “I’ve learned my lesson!” (Yeah, right)

Hoovering is successful a lot of the time because it gives victims another chance to see if the relationship will work the way they always hoped it would.

All that faith you carry as somebody looking to your abuser to change can be offered briefly during the hoover phase, but it will be retracted soon after you agree to give it another go. 

My advice?

Ignore all the gestures. 

I know they’re tempting – but the narcissist is playing on all your weaknesses during this time – hoping you will succumb to what they’re offering. 

Shiny packages like this are nothing but fool’s gold. 

#5 Their Image Starts Cracking

It’s fun to watch, isn’t it? You almost want to take a hammer and help the cracking a little faster. You’re making the narcissist suffer because you’re starting to speak truths that they aren’t ready to hear. 

When a narcissist’s image starts cracking, you will find them at their most lost they’ve ever been.

They do not know what to do when the world they’ve built, the image they’re pushing to portray is starting to not work. The shine is not buffering. The charm is malfunctioning. 

And it’s funny to see. 

Underneath the cracking lies a person who has been trying hard to remain a secret.

The more they are becoming exposed, the more suffering you will see the narcissist go through.

Anger

Fear.

Rage.

Isolation.

Revenge.

Sudden ‘health conditions.’

Smear campaigns.

The narcissist will do whatever it takes to make it out alive – but they certainly won’t be making it out in one piece. 

There is freedom in seeing the narcissist suffer – freedom for you that is.

That in itself will drive the narcissist even more crazy, but that’s only because they’ve been used to being the ones who call the shots and control your narrative, thoughts and opinions. 

Any suffering they;re going through is self-inflicted!

DO THIS To Get Under The Skin Of a Narcissist

Have you ever wanted to get under a narcissist’s skin? Let me tell you, it’s easier than you think!

Narcissists thrive on control and being admired, but there are ways to break through their seemingly tough exterior. 

It’s actually pretty weak!

The key is understanding their weaknesses. Their fragile egos and need for validation lead to a huge fear of being exposed. 

Therefore, using the right tactics can disrupt their game and leave you to take back your power.

Ready to flip the script and watch them squirm?

#1 The Art of Staying Calm

While narcissists think the way to get somebody’s attention is to speak loudly and intimidate them – there’s a lot to be said for remaining calm and collected. Some might say there is an art to it.

Think about it. An argument begins, and you know it has nothing to do with you.

The narcissist entered the room in a certain mood, and was intent on creating noise and drama.

It goes against everything you believe in, yet there you are, experiencing it. 

What choice do you have?

Well, a lot, actually. You have a lot of choices. You can continue to play along and match the pitch. You can cry and allow them to see you being mentally drained before their eyes.

Or…

You can stay calm and let them rage and shout, knowing it has nothing to do with you. Yes, you’re the target, and nobody wants to be.

But…

You’re not the one who has to respond. Nobody does. 

Staying calm throws the narcissist into unfamiliar waters because they’re used to you acting differently.

They don’t have anything to bounce off, like they usually would. Your calm aura is like a door closing on them, and it really gets under their skin. 

Okay.

Uh-huh.

I hear you.

I’m listening, but I will not shout back at you.

I would really appreciate it if you could understand your shouting is not getting us anywhere. 

Staying calm like this is going to shut the narcissist down and pertain to the idea that noise and anger won’t get anybody anywhere.

Once they know they can’t rile you, the annoyance will lie in the new understanding that they can’t gain any supply from you this way. 

#2 Be Firm!

Well, no narcissists like firmness. 

Firmness usually means you have boundaries, and boundaries are something all narcissists hate. They can’t stand to be told which side of the line to stand.

They hate even knowing there is a line in the first place!

When somebody so toxic has been used to walking all over you, it will be a shock to them when you suddenly develop assertiveness.

You will be met with resistance when you lay down what you will no longer put up with. Remember, the narcissist is used to knowing a certain version of you. The version that says yes instead of no.

When you stop with one, and start with the other – you’re going to get right under their skin!

#3 Ignore Them: Refusing To Hand Over Supply

I don’t want you to think that ignoring them is the same as giving them the silent treatment. I don’t believe in treating toxic behavior with equal toxicity – because two wrongs don’t make a right. 

However…

Silence where noise once rested is a way of retaining dignity and class, which may previously have been reverted to supply for them regarding your emotions. 

#4 Stand in Your Truth

There’s really no better place to stand. In your truth, everything makes sense. It’s where you can stand, knowing you are giving it your all and believing in yourself fully. 

It’s where confidence starts to grow and you’ll find a more assertive version of yourself. 

For that very reason, standing in your truth even though the narcissist is trying hard to pull you out of it, is crucial.

#5 Grey Rock 

Have you ever heard of Grey Rock? I am sure by now that so many of you will know what I mean by it, but just in case, let’s get a briefing!

Grey rock is nothing. It means to give the narcissist as little, if anything at all, as possible. You hear them, and you want to respond, but instead, you choose to say, “Okay,” “Sure,” “Uh-huh.”

Your face is calm and emotionless, and there isn’t an ounce of feeling in your voice. 

Giving the narcissist the proverbial grey rock is how you retain your power and give them absolutely nothing to feed from.

Will they like it?

Absolutely not!

But the more you exude it, the smaller they will feel. 

For too long, the narcissist has provoked and triggered you.

It’s time for all of that to stop.

#6 Call Them Out – and Mean it

Hey. What you did back there was wrong. 

Do you realize how you treated that person? You act like you don’t even care.

It was your fault we were late. Even though you had the time written down, you still got here after everybody else. 

You’re trying to be mean to me, but it just won’t work. 

I see what you’re doing, and I want you to know that I don’t fall for it.

Anything where you can throw some assertive statements into the mix without getting sucked into an argument, you should be able to do.

Getting under the skin of a narcissist is how you make what they’re doing almost seem like something to belittle. Narcissists hate being caught out and hate being embarrassed even more!

#7 Start to Thrive Away From Them

If there’s one thing guaranteed to annoy a narcissist – it’s your independence. 

Oh, you’re going out?

Actually, yes I am. I am going out in this outfit, and I look fantastic. You aren’t going to stop me. 

Are you applying for that job? Isn’t it a little out of your reach?

Yes, I am applying for it because, guess what, I am qualified and skilled, and I want to get it.

Thrive. Don’t just thrive a little; thrive like you mean it!

#8 Play By Your Own Rules

It’s probably been a long time since you’ve picked up your copy of the rulebook, but it’s still there.

It may be a little dusty, but now you get to dampen it down and start acting as if you are the main character of your own life. 

Don’t ever let anybody, least of all a narcissist, dictate to you. 

Your rules equate to what you want from life and how you want to go out and fight for it all. 

This is not up for debate!