5 Weird Sexual Habits of a Narcissist

Sex is a form of intimacy that allows two people to express how they feel about each other.

It’s an act that connects and fulfills. When two people in a healthy relationship make love, they do so knowing that they want to and because it’s enjoyable.

It’s hardly a surprise that narcissists just can’t connect with anybody. They’re never fulfilled and don’t know how to express themselves.

Extending that lack of surprise, only one thing can come from this, and that’s narcissists and their weird sexual habits.

You think you know everything, and then they go and place their abusive cards on an act that’s personal and meaningful to you.

So… What are those weird habits?

Sex and You

Sex is a part of life that two consenting adults enjoy. Love, lust, or fun, as long as you’re safe and responsible, and all parties are happy – you’re good to go.

When you view sex, you might view it differently from your friends or family, but in general, it has to be something that you want to do with somebody you want to do it with.

Have I summed it up well enough?

Sex and the Narcissist

Okay. Here’s where things change. 

For the narcissist, sex isn’t like that at all. Sex needs to be a way they express themselves, sure. But it’s shallow, and purposely kept so.

Why?

Because narcissists are shallow!

Intimacy? Run!

5 Sexual Habits You Will Find Totally Weird

#1 Wanting Sex After a Fight

Wanting sex after a fight. Forgive me for getting really personal, but I am about to…

Fights, and I mean real conflict, are the worst. In my eyes, they’re unnecessary. It’s like a game of who can shout the loudest, or who can make the other feel the word. I completely understand disagreements and even arguments every now and then. It’s how couples can learn about each other and move forward so they don’t continue or happen again. 

Fights with narcissists are a different ball game. They will pick and poke and provoke you until there are fireworks.

Because narcissists don’t feel the way you or I do, they can switch from one emotion to the next in the blink of an eye. The exhaustion after a fight usually leans to the desire for a little peace and reflection.

Well, we all know narcissists lack the ability to reflect, so why would they do so after a fight?

Wanting sex after a fight has a few different advantages to the narcissist.

• Pushing your buttons is a physical and intense way of you forgetting anything they said or did to upset you.
• This aims to be the forgiveness they require from you.
• Closeness is something you love, and the intimacy of sex is enjoyable. You love the narcissist, and you live and long for the fragments of time where you feel truly connected.
• Narcissists can be passionate people. They know exactly what to do to get you to feel amazing. 
• They’re so shallow that they assume a little bit of sex will paper the cracks.

#2 Avoidance

Sex can also be something that narcissists avoid. It sounds completely contradictory from my first point, but real sex that brings two people in love together is not something they know how to execute – so they avoid it altogether. 

Sex after a fight is about passion, but every feeling or urge to want to sleep with the person you love and adore isn’t something they fully know how to do. They can’t love, so how do you expect them to express love?

The most intimate way you can be with someone is where your bodies are pressed against each other, and you are vulnerable to letting yourself go. 

Vulnerability isn’t something a narcissist knows how to be, nor do they wish to be so. 

#3 Sexual Positions – Do You Get A Say?!

Sex is all about experimenting the different ways you can create that bond of two people becoming one in a moment of love and lust. It’s normal to try out different positions.

Some may work for you, but others may not. The main thing is that you get some kind of say in the matter, right? Especially as your presence equates to 50% of the action!

Narcissists don’t care what you think or want. They will use their obsessive need to be in control sexually by being the dominant one. Heck, they may even make jokes about it, and you might be convinced to love the fact that they ‘take the lead.’

Let me tell you, taking the lead has nothing to do with you being tossed about like a ragdoll while they do what they want to have their own way.

Sex is fun, and yes, that will be the spin they give you as they order you around, telling you where to be.

But what if those positions do nothing for you? What if in some way or another, they’re uncomfortable? What if you really don’t feel connected to them, and just feel like you’re there for their pleasure only?

It’s certainly weird when a narcissist demands they take control, but it’s hardly surprising considering the amount of control they demand in every other aspect of life. 

#4 Porn: In Excess

Porn is out there. It’s everywhere, and it’s so easy to access. As an adult, the narcissist will absolutely love watching it. All their fetishes and fantasies in one place. Those continuous hits of oxytocin will be more than welcome in their eyes and bodies. 

Some couples might enjoy watching it together to spice up their sex lives, and from time to time. Usually, that’s where both people are in agreement, and it isn’t the be-all and end-all.

Narcissists will watch porn the moment you leave for work. The minute they take a bath. The second they get a moment alone at all. 

Porn connects a person to something that isn’t real and disconnects them from a real chance at loving authentically, tangibly, and healthily. 

Narcissists use it because it does the job. It’s shallow. It’s quick. It’s easy. Nobody cries afterward or wants deep and meaningful conversations. Nobody wants to be held or kissed softly. 

It ticks every single box a narcissist shamefully has.

#5 Lack of Intimacy

If they can get away with it, they will refuse any intimacy at all. They know that any kind of intimacy has the potential to lead to sex. If they fear getting too close to you, they will avoid anything that may lead down that path. 

Footnote:

It’s tricky navigating personal things such as sex. Suppose you find yourself in regular discomfort or even intimidating situations with the narcissist in your life.

In that case, I’d urge you to speak to somebody you trust, like a family member or friend. 

Don’t suffer.