Wait a hot second…

‘Weakness’ and ‘narcissist’ in the same sentence?

Have I gone mad?!

No. I’m very sane.

You’d be quite surprised how weak every single narcissist on the planet actually is (despite how strong they claim to be).

They’ll never want you to know about them, but I feel it’s wise for you to get a heads-up on what makes them feel a little bit smaller.

The Narc is FAR FROM PERFECT

I don’t think I need to make it a newsflash that narcissists are the most imperfect people. 

What makes them imperfect is their inability to see themselves as anything other than perfect.

You or I would gladly admit we aren’t perfect. Some of us are too stubborn for our own good.

Others might have an aversion to being productive, and instead prefer to procrastinate rather than get things done.

Hands up!

These are fixable, and I know if you feel you have a part of you that needs a little work, it’s normal to want to make that better, or improve it in some way. 

Narcissists won’t care a little bit. Even if they know they aren’t perfect deep, deep down – they will pretend to be. 

So those weaknesses that show up in them, just like everybody else, will be on double lock from the public so nobody suspects. 

Especially you.

Image is Everything…

Image would be one of the keywords I’d use when describing all narcissists. Every single one of them.

Image is how they carry themselves from one day to the next.

Image is materialistic. It is visual. Others judge it. It is how those people describe that person to another.

It has to be right.

So, if weaknesses are trying to scratch their way to the surface, you will notice a narcissist works extra hard to keep them hidden. 

5 Weaknesses That Every Single Narcissist Secretly Has

#1 They Lack Self-Reflection

As far as they’re concerned, they don’t want to reflect on anything. What’s the point? 

Narcissists know that self-reflection can lead to the admittance of mistakes or things a person wishes or sees that they could have done better.

Self-reflection is a tool used by people who know they aren’t perfect and are keen to learn how to better themselves the next time they encounter a difficult situation. 

Have I just described narcissists?

Ha!

I think I described the complete opposite of a narcissist. 

So you see why it’s easy for a narcissist to lack something they could end up growing from.

That inability to grow shows up in everyday relations, decisions, and acts. It’s pretty obvious to the average person that narcissists are happy that way.

They will want to avoid digging deep for the truth for fear of being at fault for something. 

It’s easy to brush it under the carpet and deny it, right?

#2 “I Must Be Admired!”

The attitude of a narcissist usually goes like this:

If you aren’t loving me then who the heck are you loving?

If you aren’t impressed by me and everything I own, then who are you impressed by?

If I’m not the most successful person in the room, then who the heck are you seeing as successful?

By default, the environment a narcissist is in, no matter where it may be, should be all about them.

They are the sun; everybody else is a mere planet or moon. Why are you even here if you aren’t revolving your attention and time around them?

Don’t you know who they are?

Narcissists have to be admired this way. They want to be the smartest, the cleverest, the most animated, the richest, and the one with the most stories to tell. 

Now, I know that we all love it when people listen when we tell stories. We all want to be liked if and where possible, but most of us accept that some people just may not ‘dig’ us. 

Narcissists become almost shocked at the thought of being unliked. They work so hard to provide us with the most perfect version of themselves, so why are there still people rejecting it?

Being admired is a must, and if you can’t show them they’re admired, you’re fired!

Sensitive Souls…

You have to appreciate that narcissists are wholly sensitive people. More than you or I, MUCH MORE.

They struggle with any kind of rejection because rejection raises all the ways they really hate themselves under the surface of entitlement.

If you were to do anything that hints at rejection, such as letting them down or canceling plans, their anger will be because you made them feel an insecurity they work so hard to avoid. 

Narcissists learn quickly to bury their weaknesses, but if you so much as let one down one time, you’re going to open old wounds that they spend years, if not decades, trying to seal. 

And what does that mean to the narcissist?

If they’re reacting to something you did, it means you have some control over them.

A narcissist needs to hide that kind of weakness, and usually does so by exerting even more control your way to make up for it. 

#3 Competitiveness 

I have to win, I have to win!

It goes beyond a simple desire for a narcissist.

It starts to be something they totally obsess over.

Winning confirms they are the best at everything they do, and nobody measures anywhere close. 

Losing indicates that somebody is better than them. Someone is more talented, quicker, more skilled, more willing—you name it. 

The weakness is refusing to accept that they aren’t the best at everything they do.

Nobody is!

#4 Addictive Personality Alert!

They’re addictive by nature – so that always spells trouble. When they like something, they make it their life. Unfortunately, this spells trouble for things such as substances or habits.

Be it gambling, drinking to excess, working out, or taking substances – they will latch onto what makes them feel better in that moment and use it to the point where it affects their relationships.

Being able to regulate habits and knowing right from wrong is how we keep that balance in our lives.

Narcissists aren’t about balance – they’re about getting what they need right when they need it.

Those addictive hits make up for the lack of happiness they can create without them. 

#5 The Need For Stimulation is Chronic

Never ones to be satisfied with just ‘being,’ narcissists are always in need of stimulation. Any kind of stimulation is a distraction from the very real, very miserable world they actually live in. 

Being alone or quiet gives people time to process. Reflect. Remember. Generally, sit with. 

Narcissists hate themselves too much to do any of that – so they prefer to keep overly busy. 

10 Things Narcissism is, and What it’s Not!

Don’t you just love the phrase, ‘It is what it is’ ?

It covers almost every eventuality and allows people to just say, “There’s nothing you can do about it.”

There’s nothing you can do about narcissism, either.

A person is narcissistic or not, and sometimes, that can get a little muddled.

Today, I want to talk about that very thing…

What narcissism is, and what it most definitely is not.

What is Narcissism?

Often, it’s a word thrown around to anybody who annoys another person.

Oh, they’re such a narcissist!

Have you seen them on their latest vacation? What a narcissist!

Another selfie! What a narcissist!

Rinse, repeat, rinse, repeat. 

True narcissism is more than a selfie or a vacation somebody you know is on.

It’s deep, and it ruins lives. 

That’s not an example of drama – this is the truth.

Narcissists ruin lives wherever they go. They tear families apart, ruin friendships, bring the conflict to work with them – and the fallout can be huge. 

Narcissists are assholes, but also – assholes are assholes, too.

Sometimes, we need to take a step back and see the difference between somebody hellbent on sending you to therapy and somebody who is just a miserable person. 

#1 Don’t Get Confidence Twisted

We all want to be more confident. 

We all love to see confidence in others. 

Let’s look briefly at what’s real, and what’s fake about confidence. 

Real vs. Fake

Real confidence is always perfectly described in a story about a guy I went to university with. In a lecture one day, the tutor talked about some heavy stuff, and I could see the puzzled looks of my fellow students.

This guy, I’ll call him Jake, raised his hand and said, in front of nearly 100 other people:

I’m really sorry, but I have no idea what you’re talking about. Can you please explain it another way?

This is a level of confidence like no other. The fact that somebody was confident enough to admit without care that he needed a topic or concept reworded to help him was totally cool, and affected nobody. He was that sure of himself.

Fake confidence describes the type of confidence every narcissist has.

They want you to believe it’s real, but it’s shrouded in the reality that they’re deeply insecure, out to hurt you, and refuse to show anybody how much they hate themselves. 

#2 Anger – When Healthy and Unhealthy Get Clouded

We all get annoyed, let’s not pretend any different. 

When we get annoyed, we often take it out on the people we love, and we can snap.

But what’s important is that we say sorry and admit we made a mistake. We work on it, lessen our workload, and take some time out. 

Narcissists can’t regulate their emotions in the same way, and will never admit to being wrong. Instead, they keep the volume up, and their anger has no time for rest. 

#3 It’s Okay To Put Yourself First

Putting yourself first doesn’t mean that you’re a narcissist. It’s important to put your needs first when you need to, and think about your goals or dreams. You can’t pour from an empty cup, after all.

Narcissists never put anybody’s needs above their own.

They don’t know when to give somebody else center stage. Instead, they remain on it themselves, and to hell with everybody else. 

Know the difference between tending to your needs, and cutting everybody else off who may need your help.

#4 Appearance Isn’t Always About Narcissism

Hey, you can look after your appearance and look fantastic without being a narcissist. We need to do this now more than ever! We matter!

But a nice appearance shouldn’t be synonymous with a narcissistic character. 

#5 Ambition is Healthy! Too Much, Watch Out

Those goals you want and have should be worked toward, and nobody should stop you from aiming for them.

If you know you deserve it, then the sky is your limit. This is all about self-belief, resilience and confidence.

Too much of all those things ill point to narcissism, and if you are willing to trample over every good relationship you have in your life to get what you want, then it’s time to re-evaluate how much narcissism runs through your veins. 

#6 Charisma is Charming – Charm? Not So Much

It’s nice to be charismatic! Friendly, chatty, helpful, and trustworthy are fundamental traits in a good person, but let’s make no mistake about them.

Charm is not the same as charisma. It is real, and charm is just an attempt to make people believe you’re the type of person that you are, in fact, not. 

Narcissists exude charm, but it is very hollow, superficial, and cannot be sustained. 

#7 “I Love Myself”

Self-love is a half-trillion-dollar empire now, and there is an emphasis on loving who you are, faults and all.

Narcissists take self-love to another level. Number one, it’s not even genuine, because they actually hate themselves deep down.

Number two, they make up for fact number one so much that they try to overcompensate for it. 

Hideous? Yes.

But there’s nothing wrong with genuinely loving yourself.

#8 Cheating?…

Cheaters cheat, but not all cheaters are narcissists.

You hear a lot that narcissists will nearly always cheat because they can’t not get as much supply as humanly possible. 

Sometimes, cheating occurs, and the person will be highly remorseful.

Therapy occurs, reflection is possible, and you can work through it together.

It doesn’t happen with narcissists. They will cheat and cheat, anc throw your pain under the bus. 

#9 “Me, Me, Me”

People get wrapped up in themselves, don’t they? You see it a lot in this world as we have simply become busier than ever. 

Work is demanding, home life never shuts down, and we still have relationships to maintain, whether platonic or romantic. 

If hearing somebody scream from time to time about how their life is more hectic than yours, or how they have needs that are out of this world – the thought should arise that perhaps they’re struggling with juggling so much.

Before you try and tell me that this isn’t the same as the selfishness of narcissism – I am here to agree with you – and that’s my point! Truly, my point is – we all get lost in the matrix. It’s hard.

We say things we don’t mean. We snap, we judge, we complain, we yell; we’re tired. 

The difference between narcissism and non-narcissism is two things:

Remorse and apology. Both need to be sincere, and I truly mean that. 

Both need to be meant.

#10 Gaslighting? Not Always Narcissism

Gaslighting is a term that we all use when we’re describing narcissism, but there is a level of frustration that can accompany phrases like: 

I did not say that!

It might for instance, be a genuine thought from somebody that they forgot they said something. 

Gaslighting is intentional, and the make up and fabrication of lies is sent to destroy victims on the receiving end.