It’s never too late to escape a narcissist, but the later you spot them, the harder escaping is going to be.
If you want to run before it gets too late, I want to offer you the top 5 ways to spot them.
You can see them in the distance, edging nearer to you. They’re smiling at you, and you think your luck is in.
It’s not.
Run while you can.
#1 Everything moves so fast with them
Narcissists rush everything because they want results fast.
When they first meet a new potential partner, narcissists will purposely move quickly so their victims fall into the trap of loving them hard and fast.
By the time they’ve barely had a chance to blink, there will be talk of happy-ever-after, weddings and kids.
Victims normally love this kind of talk.
It’s what they’ve wanted to hear their whole life, so to finally feel like they’re wanted by somebody, it’s their dream come true.
Sometimes the relationship can move and develop within weeks, so it’s no wonder victims feel like they’re being swept by by a strong current of love when they first meet their abusers.
That’s what makes everything seem so fairytale-esque, and when you think about it, a little like they’re in a movie.
It’s important to look at the person you’re caught up with if they’re moving at this speed.
When you feel as though your feelings are constantly playing catch up with your mind and boy, there might be a very good reason as to why that’s bubbling away in your life.
I’d say to trust your gut if you sense fast movement. And know that the relationship can’t always move like that forever.
You’re definitely highly likely to be dealing with a narcissist if that’s the case.
#2 They cannot handle boundaries
If you’re spending a lot of time with a person who is not good at reading or respecting your boundaries, you can bet they’re a narcissist.
There’s no other type of person on the planet who will be so dismissive of what you will and won’t tolerate, so listen up.
A narcissist will mock your boundaries. They will ignore them, forget them, laugh at them, ignore them entirely, or remind you that you ‘don’t get a say in how they treat you.’
Those who struggle with boundaries have probably come from the kind of home where they didn’t exist, and where yours were never even acknowledged.
As much as you wish you could have them, I want you to know that you aren’t betraying anybody by having them.
Feelings of guilt and shame are common in victims who try to implement boundaries, and that’s where they often crumble and amount to nothing.
Because of this, victims tend to not bother for an easy life, but this isn’t about ease, this is about you.
Spot a narcissist and strengthen your values otherwise you will find yourself being used and abused.
Those who are, lose themselves and forget what’s important to them.
They just think, “Well, what’s the point? My boundaries make them angry, so I won’t bother having them.”
The longer you live like that, the less you will be in control of your own life, and nobody wants to live like that, do they?
#3 They play the victim, even when they’re in the wrong
You will hear it all, from their exes being crazy, to the delusion that they try to do everything and it never seems good enough for other people.
When alarm bells start ringing that the narcissist may not be the person they paint themselves to be, the narcissist will do whatever it takes to look like they’re being attacked.
Sympathy will be needed, plans will be rolled out, people will be unknowingly enlisted to offer empathy and care.
Playing the victim keeps the narcissist out of real trouble, because it goes against everything a troublemaker is.
What makes me so sick is the amount of people who buy this crap.
There are genuinely friends, family, associates, coworkers and neighbors who will gobble up all the lies the narcissist tells them, and because they make everything seem so convincing, you don’t really stand a chance in maintaining the honest and pained recipient of abuse.
I beg of you all, if this sounds familiar to you, then you have to get away as soon as possible.
No scenario will ever work in your favor if you continue to be thrown under a bus while they come across all coy and innocent.
Spot a narcissist by watching out for people who always make the whole world seem like it’s against them. They’re only looking for you to side with them.
#4 Great with words, terrible with actions
Narcissists love talking the talk, yet they don’t know the first thing about walking the walk. They’re so good with words, I can’t tell you.
I love you.
I never met anybody like you.
You’re just the best.
I can’t wait to spend more time with you.
I see us living together and getting married.
I can’t wait to start a family with you.
You’d make the best mom/dad.
I want to take you away and spoil you on a vacation.
Only the best for you.
Love isn’t about what you promise to somebody, it’s what that person shows you.
If you’re being told all these wonderful things, it’s going to sound amazing for you.
You will be thrilled that they care and want to shout it from the rooftops. You’ll feel like the luckiest person on the planet.
Then we get to the actions of a narcissist. The person who waves their hand dismissively, saying, “I don’t remember promising a vacation.
I can’t leave work at a time like this for a silly weekend away.” Or maybe you hear, “Do you know how lucky you are to have me?
Nobody else would even consider being with you.”
Spot these heavy inconsistencies and get out before it’s too late.
#5 They will punish you when you don’t play along
They’re content all the while you play along with their games, and the minute you stand up to them or refuse to be a part of it, they will drop you and spread lies about you so fast you won’t even have time to think.
Punishment comes easy to narcissists, who feel they’ve got the right to demand everybody plays their little roles nicely without any talk back.
Those who sniff a rat and know something isn’t right will be the first to tell you that it’s not pleasant to see this side of a narcissist. But if you want to be free and step out of the dynamic, it’s necessary.
When you allow any narcissist to control you like that, you’re not only giving up your own right to have choice and your own opinions, you’re telling them they’re good enough to take your power away.
Nobody is good enough to do that, so spotting this aspect of a narcissist before it’s too late is vital in maintaining how you live your life, not how they want you to live it.
