Dealing with a narcissistic relationship is never easy. It gets worse if you genuinely love and care about the person and can’t understand why they’re acting the way they are.
To be honest, there are several factors which can influence the way a narcissist behaves and acts. Upbringing and trauma in the past can be two factors which form a narcissist and their mindset. Neither of these is excuses for their behavior, however.
If you’re in a narcissistic relationship currently, you’re likely confused, worried, and scared for your friend, family member, or significant other. Under no circumstances should you expect yourself to “just deal with” their behavior. Doing so can lead to trauma and triggering situations.
Therefore, you’ll need a strategy in order to deal with the relationship. We’re here to help, with an array of different ways for you to navigate your narcissist relationship. Read on for the help you’re seeking.
When you’re dealing with narcissistic relationships, it’s so, so easy to think of retaliating and falling into their little game. However, this is never the right answer.
In the end, you’ll wind up wasting your time and making yourself more miserable if you continue to play into their behaviors. By indulging them, you’re enabling their harmful behavior, and you’ll only wind up hurt in the process.
Narcissists tend to create situations that don’t exist to make themselves look more powerful when they “defeat” whatever it is they’ve come up with this time. Because of this, they often wind up destroying relationships and strong foundations because their arrogance takes hold.
What does a narcissist love more than anything? It’s not difficult to guess. In poetic terms, they love molding you to their whims.
In not-so-poetic terms, they love controlling and manipulating you. When they get angry or indulge in delusions and you humor or react, you’re playing right into what they want. They’re using you like a puppet and moving you every which way.
However, if you ignore a narcissist, you can almost see them short circuit. You may be in a narcissistic relationship, and the best way to reveal that is to ignore your narcissist and observe their behavior.
A narcissist won’t take kindly to that. They’ll do whatever they can to get you to react: they’ll threaten, they’ll lash out in anger, they’ll accuse you of things that never happened. You can ensure that they’ll use no shortage of intimidation tactics to make things go their way.
When you stop ignoring them, though, you’ll instantly lose the fight.
Take the High Road
This fight isn’t something that you want to lose, so it’s important that the road you take be miles above your narcissist’s.
This isn’t difficult. There are various different reasons why your narcissist may not be the most mature person around. They may not have a strongly defined identity, or their ego may not have developed properly.
These things can lead to a lack of confidence and a lack of self-awareness or self-efficiency, or all 3. This comes out most obviously when they feel slighted, angry, or anything negative.
By taking the high road, you’re ensuring that you’re above their entitled, shallow, immature behavior. If your narcissist is competitive, you need to remember that they’re taking it far too seriously and that it will be their downfall.
When they’re displaying envy, remember that this can ruin relationships and has ruined them in the past, and you don’t have to bend to their whims.
This one may seem counterproductive, but it also feeds into the idea that your narcissist is secretly very insecure.
Some narcissists are like an emotional void, so they go fishing for compliments. They thrive on attention and validation from others. This can lead them to go to great lengths in order to get this attention, and it may seem like they’re incredibly focused and hard-working to others.
If you compliment them, it will feed their ego, but you’ll also win their favor. If that’s enough to keep you safe in the relationship, there’s no shame in doing it to help stay afloat.
Regardless of how much you may care about the narcissist in your life, the time may come to sever ties with them and abandon the narcissistic relationship.
Remember, some narcissists are void emotionally. While they may thrive off compliments and happiness, they also thrive off of anger, intimidation, and asserting their position as the alpha.
There’s no reason you should have to put yourself through the trauma and confusion of dealing with a narcissist on a daily basis. If you are in a situation you cannot escape from, whether due to your age or other factors, start formulating an exit strategy.
If you’re under legal age, begin researching apartments or colleges, perhaps even out of state from your narcissist. If your narcissistic relationship is a romantic one, consider letting a friend know.
Don’t let yourself be manipulated by a narcissist any longer. If it’s at the point where your narcissist is too emotionally unavailable or unstable in order to have a healthy relationship, you can feel confident enough to remove yourself from the situation.
Navigating Narcissistic Relationships
Dealing with a narcissist means that your relationship isn’t secure and it never will be. You’ll always be caught up in waves of happiness when you’re in their favor, and you’ll be cast aside instantly at the smallest type of slight.
Under no circumstances are you required to stay in a narcissistic relationship, no matter how much they believe that they control you.
Narcissists may be influential people by their own design, but there are tried and true ways to navigate these relationships while keeping yourself safe from harm.
There’s nothing wrong with throwing a narcissist a bone every now and then by the way of compliments. If their tactics become too outlandish or you simply don’t want to deal with them, ignore them.
Under no circumstances should you retaliate against your narcissist. Instead, begin formulating an escape plan when things get to be too much.
If you have questions or concerns in regards to dealing with narcissists, please don’t be afraid to reach out.