Worrying is a part of life that we sometimes just cannot avoid. Narcissists don’t though, right? I mean, they’re perfect.
How could they possibly have anything to be anxious about? Nothing keeps them up at night!
Wrong!
Narcissists may want to appear perfect on the outside, but I will let you into a secret:
They have 5 major worries.
You’re about to find out exactly what they are.
Not what you think
Before we get too deep into things, let’s talk about what might worry you.
Will you get paid on time? Will it rain on the day you organized that huge outdoor party? What about that medical appointment, that’s got to worry you, right?
These are normal worries we all have at some point or another in our lives, and more!
We want good outcomes, we want to be healthy, we like things to run smoothly and for everybody to be happy.
When a narcissist worries, there is usually a path back to them. It’s always got to be about them, hasn’t it?
So don’t be surprised when you read each of these points, because they all boil down to the narcissist.
None of their worries are about your wellbeing at all.
#1 Being forgotten
Did you ever wonder what a narcissist will look like the moment you start to forget who they are?
I know it’s a catch 22 situation, because you wouldn’t be around to see it, so let me paint the picture.
When you forget the narcissist and move on, they become lost, lonely people.
Now, they were always somewhat lost and lonely, but this time it shows.
They lose track of their routine, they don’t know which way to turn for supply, they have no idea how to reshuffle the dynamics when you take yourself out of the picture.
Being forgotten triggers a button within them that they are no longer important.
This is something they always need to feel that they are. They want to be needed, wanted, relied upon.
That’s why they cut you off from everybody you know, so you rely so heavily on them.
When you forget them, you prove to them that you don’t need them in your life any more, and that you can cope just fine without them.
#2 Losing control
Control is a huge aspect of narcissism, and the rooted reason why they love to abuse their victims.
Everything else that follows all boils back down to the fact that they cannot live without controlling others.
Wanting to be in charge is what makes them feel good, and if you are obeying that sick system without even realizing what’s going on, you’re handing over exactly what they want and need.
Their worry is always that some day, things will change. You will wake up and comprehend the scale of the damage they’ve done to you, and take that control back.
They worry you will apply boundaries.
They worry you will disregard their criticism and do what you want to do.
They worry you’ll be fine without them.
They worry you won’t listen to their demands.
Once they’ve lost control of you, you’ve proven to them that they can be beaten.
Your empowerment is long overdue, and they hold it back as much as they can by taking away your confidence and levelling out your self-esteem to nothing.
It’s always possible that you fight back and see yourself return again, and it will put the fear of God into them the moment you do this.
#3 Being rejected
Rejection is up there with their innermost fears, and can become a real worry when they’re left alone to overthink it.
Why? It proves they were never as relevant as they thought they were. It shows people don’t want them over wanting them.
It reveals an indifferent opinion others have of narcissists in general at some point or another.
And it is a very real, very possible reality for many. It feels for them like it’s only a matter of time before they are told, “Thanks, but no thanks.” It’s as if their world comes crashing down, and they’re left with nobody to turn to, and no supply to steal.
Rejection can be a challenge for anybody, but the stronger your self-esteem, the more likely it is that you can recover from whatever or whoever rejected you.
As narcissists are famous for their complete overload of self-loathing and insecurities, it’s already a fear before it’s even happened. No wonder they lose their minds when the inevitable does occur.
#4 Being alone
Imagine being a narcissist, and being alone. These are people who thrive only when they are making other people feel small, insignificant and powerless.
They’ve got no problem pulling out all the tricks in order to spread misery, and that’s exactly what they will do so they can feel an ounce of happiness in their sad, lonely, hollowed out souls.
The take home here? Narcissists already feel lonely. That’s why they steal your joy, because they want you to feel lonely, too.
But then there’s being alone. Without anybody around to control or manipulate.
Their ego will fall apart if they don’t have company, which is why you’ll never find a narcissist sitting at home on their own for long periods of time.
Being alone means they are at risk of all the thoughts they try to constantly suppress.
I hate myself.
I hate that I cannot feel.
I am not happy unless I am making others cry.
Nobody loves me.
All highly insecure and self critical, right? So rather than they feel those things, they need to destroy your life so you feel those things instead.
#5 Being exposed
Save the best ‘til last!
Have you ever been around a narcissist as they’ve been exposed in some way?
Whether you’ve told them exactly what you know they’re like, or somebody else has called them out, it’s the start of total narcissistic collapse.
They do not know what to say or do, but they will always resort to:
- Anger
- Rage
- Projection
- Punishment
- Silent treatment
- Denial
- Gaslighting
You can always be sure that some of these will rise up from the pit of their hellish gut.
But that’s all based on fear, right? Fear of what comes next now everybody knows they’ve at least been accused of not being perfect.
So you can just imagine for a second how much this worries them on a daily basis.
Who will it be?
When will it happen?
What will they say?
Who will believe them?
Just how much will my world fall apart because of it?
What can I do to stop it?
Can I predict the outcome?
All of these questions come from a place of a lack of control, I mean, we’d be foolish to believe we are able to control every little thing in the world, right?
Whatever happens, happens, and there’s nothing the narcissist will be able to do about it.
At some point or another, all of them will be exposed in some way. It’s the least they deserve, and the most satisfying thing to sit back and watch.
This worry will come true!
