Be honest…
How many times have you witnessed the narcissist in your life treat everybody else like royalty, yet you get the cold, critical version?
I bet it’s more times than you would care to admit.
People think they’re doing something wrong, and that it’s them.
It’s not. But it is calculated, and I want to share the 5 eye-opening reasons narcissists treat others better than you today.
You want clarity? I’ve got it.
#1 They want to be liked by as many people as possible
Narcissists are all about quantity over quality, and that will never change. The more people who like them, the better.
As a result, they’d sooner have 100 associates than 1 true friend.
Due to this dire need to constantly pull in people from all around them, they will utilize each day ensuring they treat everybody far better than you in order to be liked and seen as a good person.
If they’re smiling, a stranger is assuming they’re good.
If they’re offering help, the other person is assuming they’re compassionate and kind.
If they’re showing signs of affection or listening well, they’re assumed to be a pillar of support when times are hard.
It doesn’t matter that the person in question may not know the narcissist well, in fact, that makes it so much better.
Narcissists are so sick in the head that they crave people seeing them as the very people they will never be.
With you knowing them behind closed doors, they also want to make it harder for you to tell the world you’re living with an abuser.
#2 It’s a safe bet when you accuse them
Leading on from that last comment, you’re going to find it incredibly difficult to prove this nice person is toxic.
You could be the only one in the room who sees all sides of them, and while you might be dying to speak your truth and shine a light on their true character, you’ll have a difficult time if all others see is good and kind.
Really? They seem so sweet.
I’ve not seen that side of them.
I can’t comment.
Are you sure they just weren’t having a bad day?
You’ll be gaslighted, but they won’t even be aware they’re doing that because as far as they’re concerned, they see what they see and that’s their reality.
In fact, they are being gaslighted by the narcissist!
So when the time comes where you are accusing them of being abusive, you can bet there will be droves of people standing up for the narcissist, and telling you that maybe it’s you.
#3 To trigger you
How triggering must it be for a person who has spent much of their life feeling unloved and unappreciated be treated less than others?
When you’re talking about somebody you love, you assume that their treatment of you will be synonymous of that.
This isn’t the case, in fact, nowhere near. You want a particular treatment, yet you get coldness and cruelty.
Then you have to face the narcissist speaking to everybody else being spoken to respectfully, with a keen interest in listening to what they have to say.
This is incredibly triggering. Why do they do it?
#1 They want to see you cry
Better than any movie, narcissists love to see their victims cry. Your tears fill them with joy because they know you still care enough to be swayed somehow by them and the way they treat you.
Making you cry can also appear to be innocent by them.
When they first meet you, they make it their mission to get to know your triggers and fears, and pressing your buttons before coming in to save you is something they’re very good at.
#2 They love to see you beg
Begging for them to listen to you, talk to you, be nice, be kind, understand; all of it.
If you’re beginning, you’re looking to them for comfort of some kind, and that’s just something they’re not and never will be willing to hand over.
#3 They lust after your confusion
Instead of lusting after you, they lust over the mental distortion you suffer in their company.
Seeing you uncertain means you’re far easier to shift and sway in thought and perception, meaning any gaslighting they try on you will work.
#4 Your fear is their fantasy
A scared victim is so much more attractive than a person sure of themselves.
Your fears leave you in a helpless place, where you then rely on them to make it better. Narcissists are so good at causing a problem, then swooping in to fix it.
When triggered, that’s when you will reveal your fears the most.
Oh dear, what’s wrong?
They already know the answer. They found out when they got to know you and found out every fear you’ve ever had.
And now they get to trigger that fear, then ‘save you from it.’
#4 Control
All the while I’ve got you hanging on like a fish out of water, I am in charge.
I think that’s what a narcissist would say if they could be completely honest about their treatment of you in comparison to everybody else.
They get to control how you feel about it, how you respond, how it makes you feel about yourself, and how you feel about the person in question.
It’s a complex maze of emotions, and they are all designed to keep your perception of the world around you slightly skewed and darkened.
Think about how you would feel after having a huge fight with the narcissist in your life.
You head out to a dinner you promised you’d meet family or coworkers at, and you see the narcissist draped all over everybody else, laughing and joking like they’re the nicest people on the planet.
Every now and then, you get a look that makes your heart thud in your chest.
They know what they’re doing and how it’s affecting you, yet they don’t want to stop and make it right.
Could they? Absolutely! They’re in charge of everything they do, but they just don’t want to.
But that’s all about proving to themselves who’s boss, and who gets the final say.
#5 You are not special to them
The worst reason of them all, and the one that often victims find the hardest to accept.
You’re not special to them. You never were, and you never will be. Not because you’re incapable of being a special person, but because narcissists don’t live and run on that kind of thought process.
Nobody is special to them, except themselves. You can’t even come close to it.
You’re used from the minute you meet them, until the moment you discover the kind of person they really are.
You think you’re together because they chose you, but they only chose your character traits.
That’s why they go out scouring places for new supply, because the more, the merrier.
Don’t be fooled by their charm. It only exists because they want something from you. As soon as they get it, that mask will slip.
