I know what you all need in your life, aside from a lottery win and a freshly ground coffee.
I make no secret of my interest in narcissists. As much as they interest me, they also rile me.
That’s why it’s always a sensible idea to have a few powerful comebacks ready to fire their way.
They make so much noise – it makes sense to shut them up every now and then.
Who’s with me!?
1. “I’m not interested in your opinion.”
If you’re going to say this to a narcissist, I want you to prepare your eyes for what you are about to see.
The eyes can act as a camera from time to time, and some memories we look back on with fondness as we never want to forget certain moments.
This is one of those moments.
You’ll utter the words, and immediately, the narcissist’s eyes will widen. They will stare at you in complete shock.
Did you just say those words to me?!
How dare you!
What in the …
Who do you think you are!
What are you …
You’re going to pay-
This is just …
You are …
I am just …
Oh, it’s a picture alright. You can see the mental cogs turning and the steam bellowing from their ears. But you know what you did?
You put the narcissist in their place.
You stood up for yourself, and you showed up for yourself.
Even if it’s incredibly overdue, it’s never too late.
You’ve put up with this for so long. The back and forths, the goading, the mocking, the criticism, the obsession with conflict that they seem to have, especially when it comes to you.
And for all the time you’ve known them, you’ve cared more about what they think than your own well being.
It’s time that changed. So by saying this, everything changes in an instant.
Why it works
Narcissists love to and have to thrive on making you seek their approval. This comeback tells them their opinion is irrelevant, which is a massive blow to their ego.
So… you’d better take cover.
2. “That sounds like a you problem.”
It’s about time the narcissist stopped making you be the reason why nothing works out, or the reason they were late that day, or the reason they haven’t done all they want to do in life.
Why does everything have to boil down to you? Why do you have to shoulder the blame, and carry the guilt like it’s an unnecessary weight on your back?
You don’t.
Narcissists should know better than that, and here’s where you get to give them one of the most powerful comebacks of all time to shut them up for good.
Why it works
A comeback like this flips the script on their usual tactic of blaming you. Instead of taking their bait, you are simply reminding them that their issues are theirs, not yours.
Quite right, too.
3. “I’m not arguing. Have a great day.”
You’re doing two things here. The first is letting them know that you’re refusing to fall into their trap of conflict.
You’re going to rise about it and keep a healthy distance from what usually goes down in Camp Narcissism.
For that reason, you’re no longer of use to them, but that’s okay for you. You’re laying it on the line and affirming a boundary that will be new and uncomfortable to the narcissist.
The second thing you’re doing is ending it positively. You don’t have to mean malice in what you say.
But it’s always far better to end a comeback on a positive note so they really have nothing to do but shut up and get on with their day without you in it.
It’s the perfect and polite way to say, “No. You know what? This always happens, and I am done being on the receiving end of it.”
Why it works
Narcissists love to stir a little drama up and provoke reactions. If you refuse to engage, you frustrate them and take away their power. Mission complete, right?
4. “I’m done explaining myself to you.”
Because you’ve learned over time that it gets you nowhere, haven’t you?
You’ve now gotten to the point where, well, what’s the point?
It doesn’t matter how much you explain yourself to a narcissist, they’re only going to listen so far.
The rest is going to be chewed up and spat out by their egotistical narrative that they always have to be the victim, and always have to be right.
If you’re sick of all of that, and you’ve used all the words in the world to try to make it through each annoyance or period of abusive silence, this is a great comeback to use.
It sends a strong message that you aren’t to be messed with any more, and that you’ve reached your limits.
Why it works
Narcissists are huge fans of keeping you on the defensive. This comeback will firmly shut down their manipulation by making it clear you owe them nothing.
You’ve owed them nothing all along.
5. (Silence – No response at all.)
Silence is the kind of comeback that you want to aim for, while ensuring you never allow yourself to be walked all over in the process.
A lot of people mistake it for weakness, but it’s not. It takes more strength and certainty of yourself to stay quiet than it does to raise your voice and get into an argument.
Silence proves that you’re not bothered and that nothing the narcissist says or does can trigger you into offering a reaction. Remember – that’s exactly what they’re after.
If you refuse it, you refuse to feed the situation.
Give them nothing, and they starve. Ultimately, that puts you right in the control seat where you actually belong.
Why it works
You know, the most powerful response is often no response at all. Ignoring a narcissist acts as a way to starve them of that attention they’re craving,
leaving them feeling weak and powerless – two of the worst feelings they can possibly have.
Silence doesn’t have to mean that you’re letting them win. It stands for you disengaging and keeping your emotions regulated.
My Final Tip
Comebacks are always great if you want to stop a narcissist dead in their tracks. They chew at you until there’s nothing left of you and then blame you for disappearing.
At least this way, you get to stand firm in a new power that you’ve been long overdue.
So, say these calmly and confidently. The goal isn’t to fight but instead to disengage and show them they have no control over you.
You’re done.
