I’d love to tell you that narcissists – aside from their crazy and damaging behavior, live fairly normal lives. But I can’t lie, and I know you wouldn’t want me to.
With the firm belief that honesty is the best policy, I’m here to break it to you that their disturbing ways creep into even what they keep hidden in their house.
I’ve got 5 things that you may or may not have encountered, but just so you know, I’m not going to sugar coat any of it.
The place they call home
Homes are our fortresses, aren’t they? You walk into somebody’s front door, and you’re presented with a view of what they want their house to look like.
The colors, the designs, the choices of furniture, the house itself, the location, the food you can smell in the air, the choice of music playing on their home device.
It comes together to form a visual of the character who lives there.
Upon first glance, the narcissist’s house will probably look like any other, even with the odd sprinkle of self-indulgent purchases to really ramp up their image to visitors.
You’ll see wonderful things, normal things, interesting objects or artwork, and so on.
Looking beyond all of that is where I want to take you today. Looking beyond the innocent, or if I can be so comparative; looking beyond the mask of the house, just like we all need to look beyond the mask of the narcissist.
That’s where you start to unravel the most disturbing aspects of narcissists.
#1 They secretly stash money in the strangest places
Narcissists are obsessed with money, but I want to give you all an ‘Ebenezer Scrooge’ moment here.
Remember him? The old man who hoarded cash in his house. Coins here, coins there, and he religiously counted them every day while offering barely anything out into the world?
Well, the one thing I can say about ol’ Scrooge is that he came good in the end. Narcissists? Not so much.
They will continue to hoard cash, burrowing it away in the strangest of hiding places.
Why? Because they can. Because they want it for a rainy day. Because they can pull it out and show it off whenever the time is right.
Because they can use it to buy something completely OTT whenever they want.
Because they don’t have to pay tax on cash if they’re earning it and are self employed.
The reasons will blow your mind, but let me tell you, narcissists love the visual of a great big wad of cash.
They think the bigger the wad, the more important and entitled they are.
They want you to be jealous. They want you to wish you were the one with all the money. They see money as authority.
#2 They often hide a burner phone
Not the burner phone! I hate to say it, but yes. Burner phones, or spare phones as you may know them to be, are commonplace for narcissists.
Owning one gives them the freedom and zero effs given to live a life with you, and countless other lives, too.
The burner phone will give the narcissist access to a world that you don’t get to be a part of, and your blissful ignorance to it will mean they, on the day to day, get away with a high level of disloyalty, sneaking around and pretending to care about you while speaking to God knows who.
It’ll be kept hidden, probably even switched off when you’re at their house.
If you do happen to find it, they’ll put it down as an old phone that means nothing to them. “I kept it because I never like to throw away these things.”
Sure, we believe you…
…And pigs might fly.
#3 They surround themselves with objects tied to spiritual manipulation
One of the most disturbing ways a narcissist can reel you in is by lacing their house with objects they know you will see when you visit.
They’re often ‘hidden’ but in such obvious ways that you will stumble across them, provoking thought and invoking question after question about them.
Wow, I had no idea you were such a lover of inner peace.
This is truly comforting to see. I love that you want to live mindfully.
I admire you for having this in your home. It shows what a kind person you are.
Well, that’s exactly what the narcissist wants you to think, but of course, we know the real reason.
Objects tied to spirituality mean a lot to those who genuinely follow that path of belief, but for those who don’t, they are strongly tied to manipulation tactics that become dangerous if or when you believe them.
#4 They install hidden cameras and microphones to spy on you
I remember watching a show called Dear John a few years back, about a woman who met a man she fell head over heels with.
Long story short, it got to the point in the show where he installed cameras around the house to spy on her while he was out of the house.
I sat there, completely non-surprised that it got to that point. After all, this is just one huge and disturbing way of keeping track of you.
If I can be even more honest with you, it’s so far beyond normal that it should be the first sign that you need to leave.
That’s if you even notice the cameras or microphones. Can you imagine being spied on all through each day and night? Every single thing you do or say is picked up on?
And for what? So the narcissist knows your every move, and can hold absolutely anything against you if they catch you doing or saying something they don’t like.
#5 They steal hard drives full of your private content
If you want disturbing, I’m giving it to you!
Your worst nightmares can indeed come true when your entire hard drive is copied and put onto another device for them to rifle through.
Photos from 12 years ago that mean nothing, documents, tax returns, bank information; anything and everything you keep on your computer the narcissist can get hold of.
This is the strongest invasion of privacy that I can think of, not to mention how extremely dangerous it is to have all of your information and past in the hands of somebody you could trust as far as you could throw.
And what do they do with it? They relish in getting the parts of you that you don’t share with anybody.
If you didn’t want to be with a controlling person, I hate to say it, but you’ve met probably the most dangerous kind of person there is possible.
Private means private. Your stuff is not meant to be shared unless you decide you want to show it to somebody.
That should be enough to be respected, but hey, your boundaries will never be respected all the while you’ve got a narcissist in your life.
Get rid of them, and find that copied hard drive and erase it for good!
