3 Secret Weapons The Narcissist Will Use Against You

Narcissists always have tricks up their sleeves…

…Tricks that enable them to come out stronger than ever. Tricks to weaken your mind, body and spirit.

It’s how they fuel themselves.

These tricks are known as weapons, and they’re weapons because they protect the narcissist and leave you exposed.

Enough, right?!

Knowledge is power – so let’s give you a good reason to know the narcissist before they completely ruin your life.

3 Weapons, and a snippet of your time is all it will take to turn your life around.

Weapons?…

In a way, wouldn’t it be easier to draw wands or swords, like in fantasy movies? 

Just you, the narcissist, and the sweet smell of justice.

You could battle, fight, and duel until the strongest (you) wins. 

There would be no secrets, no lies, no tricks – just two people standing against each other. It would be simple.

Sadly, life just isn’t simple. And the weapons the narcissist uses aren’t going to be seen at all by you. 

They’re secret. The reason they’re secret is because the narcissist doesn’t want you, or anybody else for that matter, to find out their tricks. 

Except here I am – with each of those tricks ready to inform you, so that you can win the war. 

Does This Mean All Out War?!

In a word, yes.

It has to. There can’t be weapons used in any form of relationship, and if there are, it’s up to you to make a stand and call them out for using them.

If you love somebody, there should be no weapons. And if you don’t love somebody, then why are you even with them?

For these reasons – yes – the war has begun.

And you are about to have the advantage. 

3 Secret Weapons – Prepare!

The three secret weapons the narcissist uses are going to untangle a lot of things that may have previously not made much sense to you.

Now – all is about to become clear. 

#1 Gaslighting

You may have heard of the term gaslighting, but I need you to know that the narcissist can, will, and probably has, used it against you in the past. If you can get clued up, you can prevent it from happening a second longer. 

What is gaslighting?

Gaslighting is a term used for when somebody, usually a narcissist, distorts your reality in varying ways.

They can confuse you, by convincing you that you didn’t say or do something you actually did.

They can manipulate your opinions by belittling what you like until you believe them.

They can check in with your current emotions, and label you ‘too sensitive’ if you’re upset or disappointed by something. The idea here is that you come to think you are that, and deny your true feelings. 

Narcissists can also gaslight by refusing to engage in conversations with you. They can make out that they don’t understand what you are saying. You try to be clear and concise, but the more you try, the more confused they appear. This is designed to frustrate and confuse you. 

What do all of these things end up doing to a victim?

They make them apologize.

I’m sorry you don’t understand me. I should try to make more sense.

I’m sorry if I seem sensitive. Perhaps I’m just tired and need a good night’s sleep.

I’m sorry. I really thought I asked you to pick up some milk this morning. Never mind. I’ll head out and get some. 

Why?!

Narcissists aren’t going to tell you why they gaslight. They won’t even admit it’s a thing. If you were to even ask them, they would simply look at you, scoff, and deny. 

If you really want to know why they do it, it’s because they can. Whatever they can get away with, they will. Not only that, but narcissists are going to have an agenda from the start. Your life, the dynamics, who you are and what you love – they will want to break it all down.

If a narcissist can confuse you by simply denying your version of reality, or how you feel, then they can convince you that you need them. It will get to the point where you actually begin to rely on them for everything, because you don’t trust yourself. 

Once you’re there, the narcissist knows they’ve got you where they want you, and that’s where you’re likely to stay for a long time. 

#2 The Silent Treatment 

The silent treatment is the second weapon, and I had to include it because it’s absolutely destructive. It can bring the other person to their knees – and you know what? There is nothing you can do to get a narcissist to end their silent treatment early.

What is the silent treatment?

You’ve been with a narcissist for long enough to have the love-bombing phase die down. All that happiness, love, laughter and promise has faded. 

They decide (and it really is that straightforward) one day to just go silent on you. 

This silence can be for a few hours or a few days. In extreme cases where you don’t live together or have a long-distance relationship, it can last weeks or months. It’s until whenever they think their job is done, and where they have you right on the edge of yourself.

Your anxiety will hit the roof. Your determination to want to make whatever it is right will be top of your priorities. You will take the blame in order to lose the guilt you feel for upsetting the narcissist. 

And guess what? They’ve got you right where they want you. 

Why?!

The narcissist wants to control your reaction to them. They want attention. They need you to focus on them. They want you to reassert your love or concern for them. They need you to respond how you usually respond. 

There is also the more insidious reason of wanting to punish you for some reason. In their wrapped mind, you’ve upset them or made a fool of them (even though you haven’t!)

#3 Manipulation

Manipulation can come in many forms, but it is the final weapon narcissists use against you. 

What is manipulation?

Manipulation is where the narcissist will get to you through their own warped actions.

You might see: 

• Triangulation – This is where they will come between you and somebody you know to create conflict and see you fall out. You’ll be pitted against each other with the end game of eventual fallout. 

• Love-bombing – Pretending to love and care about you will make you think you cannot live without them and their over-the-top displays of love.

• Playing the victim – Narcissists need you to feel sorry for them, so you pay them attention and ‘stop the world’ for them.

• Hoovering – Hoovering you back in after a discard phase will see you respond positively to their gestures of love all over again. The lure is strong. 

• Smear Campaigns – The flip side of manipulation is getting other people to believe you are a terrible person, and that you did so many things wrong. It’s a hard weapon to face, because it never ends well for the victim.

Why?!

Manipulation has so many avenues that it’s impossible to even begin to see what the narcissist might do next. One thing is for you sure – they will find a way to manipulate you every single day – in small or big ways.

And it’s something you need to prepare for.