My weakness is dark chocolate and a good movie. I’m pretty simple in that respect, but my weakness isn’t representative of a disorder within my personality that I refuse to admit exists.
As it goes, narcissists have 3 weak spots that they don’t want you to know.
And because I am all about sharing as much information as possible, I’m going to ruin their secrets and spill them all out for you here.
#1 Your silence is dangerous
What a way to starve their ego! Let’s talk silence.
What makes you so bad that the narcissist feels the need to give you the silent treatment?
I’ll help you out here; it’s nothing. The only reason they go silent on you is for a power grab.
They want a little bit of your energy all wrapped up and tied with a bow. You give that to them when they go silent.
You ask them what’s wrong. You lean into the anxiety the silence creates, and assume you’ve been a terrible partner. You’ve upset them.
It’s a worrying time, but they get the upper hand by sticking to the driver’s seat.
What if it were the other way around? What if your silence became the danger to them? What if they wondered what was going on, and why you were suddenly silent?
It all changes! If you take the power they normally thrive on stealing, you drive right into a huge weakness of theirs.
But here’s the thing. You won’t know it’s a weakness because they are too busy focusing on yours.
It’s time you made silence warfare, and give back to them all the miserable ways they have ever given to you.
This can be easily done by ignoring their calls to conflict. Instead of picking a weapon and heading to emotional and verbal battle, you walk away.
You remain in the realms of nothingness. You relish in the idea that your silence starves them, and without a meal made up of your reactions and tears, they have an empty plate.
#2 They hate your certainty
Gaslighting is such a popular tool for the narcissist because it works so well. They wouldn’t do it if it didn’t; it’d just be a total waste of time.
When you are unsure, you are priceless to them. They see your confusion as a way to manipulate the narrative so it works only in their favor.
If they can, they will pretend they didn’t say something they definitely did say by convincing you it was a dream, or that you imagined it.
What options do you have to get to them and make this a real weakness for the narcissist?
By being the total opposite!
You want to aim for total certainty. You do not listen one bit when they tell you that your reality isn’t real.
When they try to break it to you that you are imagining things, or that you’re too sensitive, or that something that happened didn’t happen; that’s when you stand firm and dig your feet into the ground.
You will not tolerate being tricked, and you know your memory is good and strong.
You want to go somewhere? Go.
You want a new hobby? Do it.
You like a certain food? Eat it.
You want to wear that dress? Put it on.
You remember what happened last Friday when they told you they were going to be late home? Jog their memory and don’t back down.
Treat them like they are a burglar, but instead of breaking into your house ,they’re trying to break into your mind and steal what you remember, and how you remember it.
Cut through their manipulation like a blade, and you will see just how weak it makes the narcissist.
They will be totally floored by your empowered approach to their mind games that they daren’t even bother trying it out in the future.
#3 If you’re unreadable, you’re a nightmare
My favorite! Ask yourself this; what does a narcissist love the most about you? Is it your tears? How easy it is for you to do as they tell you? The way you are silently loyal?
This is a trick question. It’s a blend of all of the above, and so much more, all packaged in your predictability.
Narcissists love knowing what’s coming, and with you, you are so readable, they know exactly what you’re thinking and feeling, and what your next move is going to be.
If you can live a life where you offer the narcissist a constant glimpse into the future, you are offering them the gift that keeps on giving.
They don’t have to work to get what they want, because you hand it to them on a plate.
They know when you’re feeling a certain way, and they can play on it by triggering you with a bit of silent treatment, or a damning comment that will crash your day into pieces.
They find so much of their strength in how easy it is to read you, but what if you stopped?
What if you placed a veil between your emotions and the narcissist?
If you did, you’d be hitting their weak spot quickly, so quickly that it will drive them fully into panic mode.
You must stop letting them read your emotions like a script. Be unpredictable.
Do things you wouldn’t normally do that you feel they hold you back from. If you want to cast their control aside and take over your own identity again, you’ve got to do something drastic.
Narcissists don’t want you to know how much they love knowing with you. So flip it all on its head and send them spiralling into a confused and weakened state.
If you can do this, the narcissist will have zero hope of being able to predict your next move.
Dark? It needs to be!
Promising you that worming your way out of a relationship with a narcissist will be easy would be unkindness unfair of me.
That’s not to say it isn’t possible, because it is. It takes time, but in that time you grow in the knowledge that, for starters, it is abuse.
It’s a shocking realism of life that sometimes people get tangled up in situations with people they wish they’d previously avoided.
When it’s too late, there’s a lesson to be learned. There are complex issues that you would heavily benefit from getting to grips with.
Narcissists’ weak spots is one of those issues. In the day to day life of being with a narcissist, one thing is certain; your predictability works in their favor.
They know your triggers like the back of their hands, which means you always lose. You become defeated in this over time, wishing you could just be a step ahead.
Getting to know their weak spots means you can do that. The reason the narcissist doesn’t want you clued up on what makes them fragile is that the second you see these 3 weak spots, they have no control over you whatsoever.
Well, I don’t think I’m alone in saying that this really wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world, would it?
