When you think about the words weakness and narcissist, you’d not normally assume they go well together.
Narcissists appear to be incredibly strong characters, asserting dominance in every situation they find themselves in.
They have to be the best, the loudest, the most successful.
What’s weak about any of that?
Underneath those thin layers lies a person who has three main weaknesses.
Not only am I offering them to you on a plate today as a bonus, I want to tell you how you can use them against the narcissist for ultimate power and control to return to you.
#1 They can’t handle criticism
Have you ever known a narcissist to sit down and acknowledge criticism in a calm, regulated manner?
I didn’t think so.
That’s because they literally can’t. What good comes from being singled out for negative reasons?
And we all know that not all criticism is negative. I find critical criticism, especially in work environments, to be helpful for personal and professional growth.
If there’s something wrong, or something lacking in your job role, you want to hear about it, right? Only then can you improve and step up that ladder a little more.
Narcissists don’t see it that way. Every form of criticism is considered to be an attack.
Why?
Because it eats away at their insecurities. How they can make you feel by being abusive is how they already feel simply by existing.
They have grown up in the kinds of environments where if what they were doing wasn’t absolutely perfect, they were torn apart for it.
Perhaps they had to fight for attention, and as a result they’re now the ones who want to be the center of it all.
Whatever the reason they got here, you suffer for it by knowing them. And each and every critical comment sets out to damage them inconsolably from the inside.
But hey, it’s okay for them to criticize you, right? It’s okay for them to make you feel bad whenever the opportunity arises.
They enjoy seeing the look of misery on your face. It gives them a purpose otherwise non-existent.
#2 Narcissists cannot maintain deep relationships
Quantity over quality for narcissists every single time. They want people just close enough to be able to rely on, use and triangulate, but they don’t want them knowing or sniffing out their fears or vulnerabilities.
There is always this invisible barrier between narcissists and everybody else, and that’s down to their inability to be authentic.
It keeps the narcissist feeling safe from being hurt or worse, abandoned.
Because of this innate fear, they’re left with the weakness of not knowing what true connections feel like.
Even love, the most humanistic way to connect with another person, evades them completely.
They love the surface of these feelings, and can usually tap into the pacifying ways to show love such as a nice meal, a diamond ring or physical intimacy.
They even stretch to an, “I love you,” but that’s it.
To love and maintain a deep relationship means they every so often have to put another person before themselves.
What an impossible predicament for the narcissist, who centers themselves everywhere they go.
They can’t imagine placing somebody else above them, or prioritize a need they have in a single moment.
If they’re kept at a distance, they can always assure they come top of the list every single time.
It kind of makes sense when you think about the narcissist you know, right? They claim to love and be close to you, but it’s not what you consider to be genuine at all.
#3 They lack self-reflection
As someone who has spent a lot of time observing and studying narcissistic behavior, one of the most glaring weaknesses I’ve noticed is their absolute lack of self-reflection.
Narcissists often come from a place of inflated self-importance, so there isn’t much room for honest introspection.
I’ve seen how this inability to self-reflect leads them into repetitive cycles. Failed relationships, stagnation at work, being emotionally volatile without ever truly understanding why.
They deflect blame and become experts in rewriting reality.
Then – you know it – they surround themselves with enablers instead of facing uncomfortable truths.
It’s not that they can’t reflect; it’s that they won’t. Doing so would mean confronting vulnerabilities they’ve spent a lifetime avoiding.
And that, ultimately, is such a weakness. Without self-reflection, there’s no real growth or ability to understand others’ pain.
There’s no evolution. Just the same patterns disguised by charm or control.
It’s a silent weakness, but a powerful one; they may seem untouchable on the surface, but underneath it all they remain stuck behind the mask they refuse to take off (until it slips!)
Using their weaknesses against them
Using a narcissist’s weakness against them involves you putting in the effort. What I mean by that is; you can’t shirk just because you might feel a little guilty about doing it.
Keep being you. It’s the only way they will lose. Narcissists only win when you agree to playing the game, and letting them chip away at you over time.
Why should somebody be allowed to tell you that your hobbies are dumb, or that you shouldn’t hang out with your friends, or to change jobs or quit altogether, or treat you so hot and cold?
Standing up to the narcissist will allow you to use their weaknesses against them.
- Apply boundaries – and stick to them
- Don’t give them your reactions
- Go no contact if you need to (or low if you can’t)
- Remind them that you are allowed to like and do what you want in your life
- Remind them that while you love and care about them, they don’t get to choose your friends for you
- Tell them that you are capable of your job, and that you don’t need to leave it
- Let them fear love, and if they can’t love you the way you want them to, it’s time to know your worth and leave
- The next time they criticize you, call them up. “Why do you get to criticize me, but I’m not allowed to criticize you without you going silent or getting angry toward me?”
- Hold them accountable
- Make sure you do things without them
- Ask for real apologies. Tell them that their usual ‘non-apologies’ won’t cut it
Hold your power, because it really is yours. It never left you, but they tried to steal it so you would be compliant and obedient.
The theme of victims is that they forget they’re able to hold their own in any given situation.
And I assure you, as soon as you start empowering yourself and standing your ground, you won’t be able to stop.
It becomes the new addiction, only this time, it’s good for you.
The narcissist’s weaknesses are not your problem to house, but they will be made to be through ways the narcissist treats you.
Owning the idea that you are able to dig through those thin layers the narcissist protects themselves with will give you such a lead in who controls you.
I’ll give you a clue – it isn’t them.
