Don’t you just love the puzzled look on the narcissist’s face when you confuse the heck out of them?
It’s almost as if they’re trying to work out a math equation without being given any numbers.
But what is it that can cause this confusion? What tips them over the edge, and leaves them unable to make any sense of it all?
I’ve got 20 things here that are bound to make them feel as though they’re going crazy.
1. Being Ignored
If you’re not given them all the attention, you can physically see them work out your nonchalance in their minds.
What is it?
Why am I not appearing overly charming to this person?
What isn’t working?
What do I do now?
This never happens.
And of course it probably doesn’t happen that regularly, but guess what?
You were made to rewrite history!
2. Someone Who Won’t Argue Back
Narcissists live to dig the annoyance and conflict out of you. They love seeing you become frustrated, tired and anxious in their presence, as it’s a sign of true control at work.
Draining your energy by provoking fights is what they’re best at. They thrive in that kind of environment, but you don’t have to provide it to them.
Confuse them by smiling and letting them get on with it.
3. Not Being Able to Manipulate You
When all they do to get under your skin stops working, the narcissist is going to panic.
You’ll hear it, and you’ll see it. Most of all, you’re going to sense an air of confusion.
What’s changed?
Why can I suddenly not get away with it?
It’s because you’ve put your moral foot down and are not allowing yourself to be walked all over.
4. You Setting Firm Boundaries
The firmer your boundaries are, the worse the narcissist will act. Limiting their control over you gives you that power, and gives them nothing but a puzzled frame of mind.
When you enforce your boundaries, the narcissist actually feels trapped.
That’s a pretty fun thought, right? And it makes the world of difference to know that the tables have turned this way.
5. When You Stop Explaining Yourself
Why aren’t you justifying yourself any more?
Oh, that’s right.
It’s because you don’t care about tip-toeing your way to the narcissist’s good books.
Good for you!
6. Seeing You Happy Without Them
Narcissists need you to need them, and want you to want them. If you don’t, they don’t really have a place.
Think about the narcissist you know. Do they make you feel almost childish? That’s because they like to think they own you in that way.
Your happiness and independence away from them will absolutely confuse them in every way.
7. Being Called Out in Public
It takes a narcissist a long time to carve out their image for public display. If you’re out to expose them, it’s going to work out to be their worst nightmare.
Imagine the satisfaction that will bring you!
8. Losing Control Over You
If they lose control, they’ve lost you forever.
It’s like watching somebody try to navigate their way to a destination without a map!
9. Someone Who Doesn’t Care About Their Approval
Why do you need to ask them every time you want something?
How about living for you and not worrying about whether the narcissist will approve?
You’re an adult! You’ve got the right to make decisions, so go ahead.
10. When You Stop Reacting Emotionally
Be indifferent, and the narcissist will scratch their heads in dismay.
Their puzzled minds will try to work out what’s going on, but as far as you’re concerned, you’re just stepping away from unnecessary emotion.
Quite right, too.
11. A Person Who Won’t Apologize for Things They Didn’t Do
If you didn’t do anything wrong, why are you saying sorry? What are you looking for?
Refuse to be held accountable, and the only other explanation turns out to be them at fault.
Oops for them!
They expect you to take the blame. When you refuse, they get frustrated.
12. Watching You Walk Away Without Drama
What do you mean you’re not going to beg, cry or argue?
You’re just going to prove your emotional regulation in comparison to them, and walk away?
Wow!
Go you!
I won’t make excuses for the stunned look on the narcissist’s face when you do, though.
13. You Having Self-Confidence
It has to come from somewhere in order for it to work, which is the tricky part. Narcissists are known to strip you from any self-anything.
Digging deep to find it will prove that you are comfortable in your own skin, which only serves to make them feel awkward.
Not your problem!
14. When You Call Out Their Lies
Public service announcement!
The narcissist is a liar, and I have proof!
Watch them walk briskly, even run away.
They can’t work out what your problem is, but they sure as heck don’t want to hang around to find out.
15. Not Responding to Their Love-Bombing
It doesn’t work, does it?
It’s almost pathetic to watch them try the charm, only for you to almost laugh in their face.
And so you should.
The charm is fake, but your certainty in their narcissism is not.
16. Being Told “No” Without an Explanation
No is a sentence. I tell the people I work with this so frequently, and it does take a while for it to sink in properly.
That’s because they simply are not used to saying no, when all they want to do is please people and say ye wherever possible.
For what?
The narcissist won’t love you even if you’re saying yes.
17. Seeing You Unbothered by Their Insults
They can say what they want.
That doesn’t mean you’re going to let it absorb into you.
You’ve got thick skin, and you deserve to let it go over you and get on with your day.
To hell with them. Let them be confused by you raising your head and carrying on.
18. Someone Who Doesn’t Fall for Their Fake Victim Act
Rolls eyes.
Sighs.
Lets out a little giggle.
It’s what a lot of victims learn to do eventually, because they have just had enough.
Suddenly goes the head crank.
What?!
What is going on?
You’re not buying their sob story, that’s what.
19. Losing Their Control Over the Narrative
History cannot be rewritten to suit somebody. It is what it is: facts and all.
If you stop accepting their version of reality (which just works out to be a lie), then you will see the panic on their face as they confuse who you are now, to who you were.
20. Watching You Move On Quickly
Move on, forget them, and live the best life you can.
I am telling you, this is the best thing you can do for yourself, and for your healing journey.
