The push-and-pull effect of being with a narcissist is the most mentally exhausting, draining way to live.

You want to hope it changes, but the cycle rolls around, and you get hurt again.

Narcissists will discard you in the most cruel, unthinkable ways possible and beg you for their forgiveness.

They go from palpably cold, to boiling hot like the flick of a switch – but why?

To keep you hooked!

20 things narcissists say to get you back is a topic for you to be able to gain a sense of self-pride…

…So the next time they come a knockin’ – you know the verbal fakery to look out for!

They Believe What They Say

Getting You Back: The Continuing Cycle

#1 “Nobody Else Lights Your Fire”

Oh, really? Well maybe I should find out for myself!

Never be told that you’ve met ‘the best there is,’, especially by somebody as untrusting as a narcissist.

I mean – the nerve!

 #2 “I was Wrong, But I Can Change”

The only time a narcissist will admit that they’re wrong is when they want something from you.

They will say whatever it takes to get you back in their desperate attempt, even if it means throwing their conscience on the line.

  #3 “I Can’t Do This Without You”

 The helplessness is extremely fake, but narcissists can make it feel so real when they’re trying to win you back. 

In truth, they can absolutely live without you because, in no time, they will find somebody else to abuse and steal supplies from. 

 #4 “How Can We Be Apart, When We’re Meant To Be”

No! You are not meant to be! This phrase plays on your already struggling attachment to them.

They know you’re dependent on them often because that’s how they made you. 

Don’t be fooled. The picture painted of your souls meant to remain united is false and dangerous.

 #5 “I’ve Never Met Anybody Quite Like You”

They have. Those people were kind and empathic, just like you. 

Rinse and repeat.

But to make you believe they’ve never met anybody like you, is designed only to make you feel special.

I know you love to feel that, (we all do), but don’t buy into the lies. 

 #6 “If You Think About It, Our Problems Weren’t That Big. I Think You’re Just Being Dramatic”

Problems should never be minimalized – not ever.

If they are, you need to understand how this is an attempt from the narcissist to bury the real issues so they don’t have to deal with them.

Why?

Because it’s beyond their capacity. They just want you to agree, and come back.

 #7 “Every Day We Are Apart, You Never Leave My Mind. I Love You”

In other words, “I don’t have anybody to manipulate, and I don’t know what to do to get the supply you used to give me.”

This isn’t love, but so many victims mistake it because the narcissists knows exactly the right words to use. 

 #8 “I’m Finally Ready. I’m Not Scared Anymore”

Finally?

So all the ways you were not ready that caused me pain is to be forgotten?

You’ve been here before, and nothing changed. What makes this time any different?

 #9 “See How Perfect We Are Together”

No. No you don’t. Stop trying to look for what isn’t there.

The narcissist will hope you see what they tell you to see, as it’s their way of trying to paint an image for you.

 #10 “Remember All The Good Times”

I’m sure you were happy sometimes, but don’t be fooled. These were merely moments in between the vast paths of misery.

They were set up specifically for you to look back on fondly, but they weren’t genuine. 

 #11 “I Was So Wrong To Let You Go. It’ll Never Happen Again”

Yeah, yeah. We believe you… not!

The only time a narcissist will tell you how wrong they were is when they want something from you.

This time around, it’s to get you back. 

And the fact that the profusely lie and say it’ll never happen again… who are you to believe it?

 #12 “Let Me Make It Right”

How?

They aren’t going to be able to make it right. You can cover up abuse with a band aid and expect what’s underneath to heal. 

You can’t get better in the same environment that made you sick. 

It’s just not possible. 

#13  “I Can Make You Happier Than You Could Imagine”

Once upon a time you might have believed this – but the proof is in the experience, right?

Have they done anything solid to make you happy?

Broken promises or telling you they love you don’t count!

 #14 “It All Has To Mean Something, Right?”

It did, but it doesn’t anymore. 

Evidently, it meant far more to you than it ever has to them!

Trying to pull you back to them by asking if it all meant something is the worst way to convince you to try again.

 #15 “You’re The Best Thing That’s Ever Happened To Me”

Sure.

The best supply, you mean. 

There is no way what you’ve been through was the best thing, and if you were so special, why did they insist on treating you so badly?

 #16 “I Promise I’ve Changed”

The most dangerous of all – do not believe!

You’re better than that. 

I promise (and my promises are worth far more) they don’t mean this. 

Narcissists don’t change. 

 #17 “I’ve Learned So Many Lessons”

Like what? How to win somebody back that you’ve treated like shit?

No thanks!

The only lesson they’ve learned is that no supply exists all the while they are alone.

That’s why they want you back. 

 #18 “Do It For Our Memories”

Yeah, because all the times you used to tell me how fat, ugly and useless I was are so warmly nostalgic to me – I don’t think so!

Memories need to be kept in real terms here, including the negative ones!

 #19 “I’m So Lost Without You”

Haha! I am laughing out loud because I know they mean a different kind of ‘lost’

They want you to think they can’t live without your love, and they want you back because they love you exactly the same.

It’s not.

No.

They’re lost without somebody to abuse. 

They’re lost without you falling over yourself to please them. 

Don’t confuse the two, I beg of you. 

 #20 “The Thought of You With Somebody Else Drives Me Mad”

Good! That doesn’t mean you should go back to them!

So what if it drives them crazy! Maybe you’ll find somebody who values you and sees your worth.

If you do, that’s what you deserve – happiness!

You’re never going to find that with a narcissist!

8 Silly Mistakes Narcissists Make

Believe it or not, narcissists make mistakes every single day.

Just when you thought you believed the perfect image they portrayed, you’re starting to see through the cracks.

Oh, what fun that is!

Now, to see through those cracks, all you need is a little insight into what really happens when narcissists create huge errors for all to see.

And believe me, they can get very silly!

You Think They Are Perfect… So Do They!

When somebody presents you with this perfect image of themselves, it’s easy to believe it all the while those rose-tinted glasses are on.

When you don’t see a fault, it won’t even cross your mind that they are less than the whole package. 

A narcissist will do this well because they don’t want you to see all the ways they’re actually as insecure as they are toxic. 

It’s like a show, right?

The show starts, and everybody takes a seat and watches the actors on stage. You don’t know what the actors are really like because you’re seeing them play a role; a character. 

It’s the same with all narcissists. They welcome you to your seat, and show you what you came to see. 

Eventually, that show is going to have to end. I mean, nobody can continuously act like that without their real character starting to come through.

The Horror!

It’s always a horror to the narcissist when they make a mistake.

When something happens, you get to see the version of themselves that holds no color and no warmth. That’s when you realize what a facade it all is.

Catching them fail to be perfect means you have seen the real person behind the pretense.

Furthermore, they are reminded in that single moment that they have faults.

8 Silly Mistakes Narcissists Make

Hey, don’t be surprised if you recognize your own situation in every single one of these points!

#1 They Are So Predictable!

The longer you get to know a narcissist, the more you can start to see patterns in their behavior.

You know at the family party, they will turn up and cause some kind of discomfort. You learn to dread those gatherings, but more so, you prepare for them.

Psyching yourself up, or remembering all the times before they’ve passed comment or judgment, or made you the butt of jokes.

The way they can destroy an occasion is astounding – but they do it so frequently and similarly that you can now actually call them predictable.

#2 They Tell On Themselves

Oops, did the narcissist slip up? I think they may have! Narcissists only have to say one word or phrase for you to see or hear the slip up.

No, I’ve never spoken to them in my life.

Really? The same person I saw you with at the office last week?

I told you I didn’t want to go.

No. I have a text here from two weeks ago saying that you were looking forward to it.

Narcissists tell on themselves all the time, if you let them just fall into their own traps.

Making it easy for them to do so gives you far more ammunition when it comes to fighting your half of the conflict. 

Narcissists only think they’re clever, but if you scratch beneath the surface, you’ll see them make mistake after mistake.

It’s hilarious!

#3 Confession Time!

A narcissist will tell you everything about themselves the second they start projecting onto you.

You’re so narcissistic! Stop trying to control everything!

Nobody likes you! You’re not worth their time.

You are so frustrating. I wish you’d learn to love yourself more!

When you are stuck in the midst of these kinds of comments, it’s hard to really understand them in any way other than pure insults.

Once you learn about projection, you learn that narcissists use it to put everything they feel about themselves onto you so they don’t have to deal with it themselves.

This constant denial is hurtful at the time, because it seems as though you can’t do a thing right.

In actual fact – the mistake is the narcissist assuming you’re anywhere near as toxic as they are. 

#4 No Reason Anger

Shout, shout, shout.

Rah, rah, rah.

Noise, noise, noise.  

What’s it all for? Give me one good reason?

The narcissist can’t.

It’s anger for absolutely no reason, but it’s aimed at you to make you feel like you need to say sorry.

For what?

You didn’t do anything wrong.

When the narcissist becomes angry for no reason, they make the silly mistake of trying to lure people into the drama. 

Some will fall for it, yes. Once you start awakening to narcissist abuse, you will probably find yourself walking away and shaking your head.

Because it’s just not worth it. 

#5 They Underestimate You

Underestimating you is a huge mistake. Imagine thinking that you can’t do a fraction of the things you’re actually able to do – with ease!

Not only that, but this is also about character.

When a person wants to break you, they can take you to hell and back trying. If you remain steadfast in your response and do not let it get to you, you will end up being severely underestimated.

#6 They Don’t Commit To The Change They Promise

This is when you start to see the narcissist for who they really are.

Those promises made that are continuously broken will form a pattern for you.

And no, it doesn’t work out the way you hope because that happens when hope fades to disappointment. 

You want somebody to commit to you, and love you for who you are. And all the ways they say they will be there for you to be true and followed through with.

You soon learn not to trust them, even though they yearn for you to be faithful and stick by their side.

It’s too late when you open your eyes and see the narcissist, not the charmer!

#7 Believing They’re Perfect

This one almost makes me cringe.

Narcissists all believe they’re perfect. 

They adore themselves on the surface, and convince themselves that they have no flaws at all. 

That’s a lot to uphold, don’t you think? Especially when the mask can slip so easily…

#8 Believing What They Say is True

A narcissist’s voice is their favorite song. I’ll go one deeper than that:

A narcissist’s voice is their favorite ever sound. 

Nothing beats it.

They’re always right and believe anything they say is true. 

Nobody can convince them otherwise, and if you so much as question, then more fool you.

Well, actually, more fool them…

…One day they will be proven wrong, which will be their most embarrassing moment to date!