Time has been kind to me. It’s allowed me to get to know a lot of people who have experienced a shit time with a narcissist.

While I’ve helped them through it, I’ve learned what really angers them off to the point where it’s possible to ruin them.

Never one to sell you the idea that ruining people is the way to live your life, I also want to empower you.

The only way to do that is to activate that angry narcissist!

Here’s how.

Make The Impossible, Possible!

You know this is something you’ve always wanted to do, right? It feels like it’s just not possible to annoy them.

No matter what you do, sure you might give them a reason to be annoyed. But what about real frustration?

To anger them off and ruin them is to step over the lines you’d normally stop at because fear gets in the way.

What if you did it anyway?

Make the impossible possible!

#1 Smile

I bet you thought this list was going to be filled with terrible things, didn’t you?

You’re not a terrible person, and neither am I! But believe it or not, nothing I suggest is evil here. That’s not what this is about. 

You’re keeping in alignment with your true self, and I want to honor that as much as I do admire it.

So smile.

Make their day that whole lot worse by simply being happy.

#2 Laugh

Taking it one step further, and something I am a big fan of, is laughter.

If a person is visibly trying to get under your skin, you can only offer the idea that you’ve ruined that attempt by laughing. 

Watching you have a good time and caring less will immediately anger them off.

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#3 Ignore Them

Because, why not? They do it, don’t they?

The difference is that you’re not doing it to spite them; you’re just done with them. You don’t want to talk, fight, or engage.

So you just leave it.

And your silence is going to be the very thing that cuts off your supply for them.

Ouch!

#4 Defy Their Demands

What are they asking of you now?

Don’t you wish they’d cut it out?

Giving in to what the narcissist demands of you is giving them the better life, while you suffer and struggle.

You don’t want that, so the only option you’ve got is to defy them.

Don’t succumb to their orders, and you will set yourself free while simultaneously anger them off.

#5 Learn What They Hold You Back From

What are those things? Why have they been able to hold you back up until this point? 

All the while you are kept from the things you love, they’re getting what they want. They’re seeing your demise. 

When you set yourself free from that through knowledge and awareness, you will anger them off.

When you’re unstoppable, they have nowhere to go.

#6 Leave Them

Just do it.

Stop putting up with their crap, and go.

If it isn’t that safe or easy, then formulate a plan to make it happen when the time is right.

Whatever you do, have it in mind that this is the end, and you are going to leave.

Nothing angers them more than knowing you and your supply have left the building. 

#7 Expose Them

Shine a light directly onto them, and tell the people you know and trust the truth.

Who are they, and what are they doing to you?

Expose the narcissist to the narcissist – that’s even more fun!

Yes, you’re going to anger them more, but if that’s your aim, you will succeed!

#8 Live Your Life Well

The best revenge is success, and it will make the narcissist so mad to see you making good choices for yourself, and living the life you’ve always dreamt of.

#9 Have Boundaries

As much as it pains them, your boundaries are for you and you only. They are to protect you emotionally and even physically.

They are your limits, and any encroachment is a violation.

Keeping them strong is how you assert yourself and keep them fully annoyed.

It will ruin not just their day – but them!

#10 Don’t React

A bite here, a snap there, a justification there. 

Don’t do it.

Keep it from them, and save your energy.

They will circle you waiting for that rise, but you are not a fish, and they are not the line. 

Remember your worth.

#11 Take Action on Their Threats

Listen, if you’re being threatened and it’s getting serious, keep all the evidence you have and show it to the police. 

Don’t tolerate threats, and never let the narcissist assume that you’re going to keep quiet forever.

It’s empowering to hand over all your suffering and be validated. 

And it will trigger the narcissist to know that they can’t keep it behind closed doors any longer. 

#12 Never Let Them See You Cry

They love the satisfaction of watching you struggle and try to manage your tears.

So why give them what they want?

If you have to, take yourself into another room and cry. Do it in the shower, the bath, or in bed at night. 

But never let them see that they’ve got to you.

They will feel they’re losing their power, and nothing infuriates them more. 

#13 Move On

A step further from leaving the narcissist is to move on with somebody else.

Don’t do this hastily. The last thing you want is a rebound on your hands. But find somebody who cares about you, and who is willing to make it work through respect and compromise. 

This signals a real end game for the narcissist, and will totally ruin them. 

#14 Embarrass Them

A narcissist will never want to be embarrassed. Under their bravado, there is a very fragile ego. One that is easily destroyed, especially if you draw negative or embarrassing attention to them.

They will never forgive you – good!

#15 Follow Your Dreams

Because they’re your dreams and because you have every right to do so!

Narcissists will stop you from following your goals and dreams if they get half a chance.

That doesn’t mean you should listen and obey. They don’t get to have it their way – this is your life – and you only get one!

So anger them off and show them that you’re not one to fool around with!

#16 Don’t ‘Need’ Them

When you need somebody, that feeling turns to an attachment that’s really hard to break. Ask yourself what you particularly need from the narcissist, and if that thing is healthy.

I’d be it’s not. I bet it’s the feeling of being wanted among a sea of being treated like shit. 

You don’t have to sail that sea!

How Do Narcissists Manipulate Their Partners?

Narcissists are happiest when they have a partner they can twist, manipulate and control.

They love to be part of something where everybody else is smaller and less powerful than they are. Their lives have meaning, just as they feel they should daily.

There are specific ways a narcissist will manipulate their partners, though. As troubling as it may sound, these are textbook ways – and that’s where you need to pay close attention.

If this sounds like your situation, that’s because it likely is.

“My Reality is Fact!”

The reality is that you’re being manipulated by someone who has had much practice. They’ve been exactly where they are now, except with different victims. 

“You’re Nothing!”

Being told how worthless you are does a few things.

For the narcissist, it brings them to a new level of control and manipulation. If you hear something enough times, you will start to believe it. 

You believe it even more when you’re treated that way alongside those words. 

It’s all a tactic, created to destroy your hopes and dreams, your identity, and how you carry yourself each day. 

Where you once stood tall, you now slouch and try to be invisible.

That’s exactly how the narcissist wants you. 

“It’s Your Fault, Not Mine!”

Narcissists project to get whatever they’ve done wrong out of the light. They don’t want their faults or inappropriate actions to be spotted, and so they throw you out there instead.

So everybody looks at you. The narcissist looks at you as if they feel let down by you. 

And you feel that shame, because you take it on. And you take it on because they’ve pushed it so far into you that you have no choice. 

This design is set up to get them off the hook.

Thank God you are there for them to treat you this way – without you – they just might look like the bad guy.

Phew for them!

“…”

That’s right, the good old silent treatment. The way narcissists do this is by completely shutting down and ignoring you. 

If you’ve experienced it, I don’t need to tell you how uncomfortable it is. It induces panic, fear and worry, and like all things narcissists do, it is unnecessary. 

The silent treatment acts to give you nothing at all, so it’s easy for the narcissist to say, “Well, I didn’t say anything horrible. I wasn’t mean,” Then make excuses for them being quiet. 

When you’ve been given the silent treatment, you are left to your own insecure devices.

What did I do wrong?

How can I fix this?

What can I do to make them happy?

I must be a terrible person.

What’s going to happen next?

Do you need this?

No.

Yet they make it so prevalent in your world. 

It isn’t fair. 

“I Must Cause Fallout”

 What is life without a little drama? Actually, it’s quite nice. But then again, I’m speaking as an emotionally healthy person, and not a narcissist. 

The idea that drama is of such greedy interest to the narcissist is one that never fails to shock me. Why would anybody want to be in the middle of so much negativity?

Narcissists do. As people and emotions explode around them, they can act and do what they like and not be seen to be doing anything wrong at all.

Be careful here – narcissists want to pull strings to see a certain dynamic. 

If you’re a part of that, you will suffer. 

“Poor Me…”

The victim mentality of a narcissist can stop the most believing people in their tracks.

It’s all been too much for me.

I try my best.

I don’t know what I do wrong to upset people. 

I wish people would understand me.

These phrases tug at the heartstrings of those who want to give them the benefit of the doubt, and sadly – yes – it works. 

Narcissists always want to look as though they’re being wronged.

This injects:

• Guilt
• Shame
• Self-blame
• Self-loathing
• Insecurity
• Worry
• Anxiety
• Depression

In their partners, and they know this. 

They just don’t care.  

“Bringing You Back, Get Ready!”

Let’s take you back to a time where we were so in love, and everything was perfect!

We are so great, you and me. It was us against the world!

Think about all that passion we had. You’re never going to be able to find that anywhere else.

Oh, the manipulation game is strong with these kinds of phrases. They love getting you at your most vulnerable, reflecting on the distorted nostalgia between you.

It’s enough to make you paint over all the cracks in between, isn’t it? And there were a lot of those. 

What’s manipulative about this is the narcissist’s attempt to invite you to ignore their abuse, and only focus on the good (which was likely to have felt magical!) 

Don’t get sucked into this black hole.

“I Will Tell Everybody!”

Uh-oh. What’s that supposed to mean?

I think you and I both know this is not going to end well with you,

Narcissists will tell whoever listens what a horrible person you are and how you wronged them. They may stretch as far as saying that you are the cheater, you hurt them, you spread lies about them and you’re the manipulative one. 

It’s frustrating for victims, but beyond that, it’s absolutely destructive. 

Suddenly, your reputation is in tatters. It’s all based on the false word of the narcissist, who, by the way, is likely loving seeing your house of bricks fall down while their house of cards remains. 

“Nice, But Not!”

You go out, they act like the perfect partner.

You get home, and they ignore you.

You did this wrong, you did that wrong, you didn’t pay them enough attention, you flirted with that person.

Whatever it is, the charm will switch off. The mask will inevitably slip.

This is where the narcissist has learned not just to manipulate you but also to manipulate everybody else, too. They all think, “What a nice person. They’re such a good couple.”

Also the best one, 

“You’re so lucky to have them as your partner!”

Oh boy, if only they knew the truth, right? 

The truth is, you aren’t lucky. The narcissist is just very clever. They know buttons to press, when to press them, who to press them with, and they are always ready for it. 

You on the other hand then find it even more difficult to convince people of the truth.

This is the sole reason why narcissists manipulate – to make you look like the crazy one eventually, and for them to be the victim.