If I could offer you a thousand lines, I could, no problem.
I could write an entire thesis on the narcissist’s playbook, heavily including the classic, eye-rolling lines they use on unsuspecting victims.
With our ever busy lives, I won’t offer you a thousand.
Instead, I cherry-picked the best 16 lines I want you to remember.
When you hear them fall out of the narcissist’s predictable mouth, you can then turn your cheek, look the other way, and gain the upper hand with your new insight.
Tune in, and switch on… it’s going to get interesting.
Playbook…Tell Me More
The book of strategies that keeps the narcissists crazy games on track is known as the playbook.
For narcissists, there’s no book. There is just a mind riddled with toxic, terrible ways to treat people, and how to get exactly what they want.
They do this by using certain phrases proven to shake and stir the emotional pot of their victims.
Let’s take a look at some of the worst ones they use.
“All My Exes Are Crazy”
NO THEY’RE NOT!
Narcissists want you to think they are so they can look like the ones who suffered.
Never believe anybody when they so flippantly downplay their ex—you aren’t to know the truth, and assuming you do by what they tell you really is no throne to sit upon.
As much as they want to make you feel special here, you must be one step ahead.
“You’re So Insecure”
When a narcissist feels threatened by you, you can bet this phrase will come out of their playbook and hit you right in the face.
If they can make something wrong about you, they won’t have to face up to their own responsibilities that they’re so desperate to avoid.
“Quit Overreacting”
Don’t allow your emotions to be devalued by somebody keen to tell you this.
I can guarantee that you’re not overreacting.
Saying you are only proves that they will do anything to get under your skin and make you feel invisible.
“You’ve Got Some Serious Trust Issues!”
Narcissists don’t want to think about how what they do makes you feel a certain way.
If you feel insecure because they tell you they will not work late again, only to find them walking in three hours after they were due – you will want to know why.
Instead of being honest, they will throw it back at you.
You’re always painted as the problem!
“Come on, Toughen Up”
“Don’t be compassionate – it’s weak and pathetic!”
No actually, it isn’t. It’s the best way to live; by being consciously kind and thoughtful.
It’s not a toughening-up statement; it’s a recognition that your compassionate trait is seen as wrong.
“Lighten Up a Little”
Oh, you’re so miserable all the time – not!
Narcissists think they can do whatever they want, say whatever they want, or act however they want.
It doesn’t work that way, and it’s unfair to assume you, the victim, will accept that.
You don’t need to lighten up.
The narcissist just needs to be less mean!
“I was Kidding”
Nobody kids as cruelly as a narcissist.
Ask yourself right now what a joke is. It’s usually a funny attempt at a spoken word, or gesture that makes people laugh, right?
And yes, comedy might not be to everyone’s taste – but there’s never any malice in the joker – just an attempt at light-heartedness.
If a narcissist is telling you they’re kidding, it’s because they said something hurtful to you, and you rightly feel hurt.
To justify it, or get out of being the one to blame for your pain, they tell you they’re kidding.
Yeah, right.
“You’ll Never Meet Anybody As Good As Me”
Well, that’s a lie. You’ll always meet somebody better than a narcissist. You might meet somebody who doesn’t always get it right, but at least they try.
Narcissists don’t get it right on purpose, and they never try to make you happy.
They don’t want to see you happy.
“You Spend Too Much Time With Your Friends”
No, you don’t!
The reason a narcissist will say this is due to the fact that they feel intimidated by how much time you spend with the people you love.
They’re afraid your friends may eventually hold some influence on you, and that simply will not do.
“That Never Happened”
Yes, it did. The reason they want you to believe it didn’t, comes from how desperate they are to keep the game being played exactly how they want it to be played.
Don’t buy it – don’t fall for it. This is gaslighting.
“I Didn’t Say That”
Another attempt to gaslight you comes from this classic line.
You know they did say that. The problem begins when they try to erase it from your mind to prevent them from being blamed.
“I Didn’t Ask For Your Opinion”
…So apparently, you aren’t allowed to give it?!
What a load of bullshit!
Everybody is entitled to an opinion, and heaven knows you hear the narcissists literally every minute of every day.
The moment you try to offer your thoughts, and they shut you down.
They want you silent.
“What Do You Know?”
You know a lot, actually, but you’re being made to feel as though you don’t.
The narcissist wants you dumbed down so you don’t ask questions or spot their manipulation.
“I Don’t Have Time For This”
This line usually crops up when you’ve got the narcissist backed into a corner for some reason. You’re asking why, or where, or how, and they no longer know what to offer you in return.
So their default?
Get out fast!
Lines like this will do the trick – until you realize what’s happening!
“So-and-So is So Annoying”
Watch these kinds of lines. It always means the narcissist is trying to goad you into having an opinion they can use against you.
What they want to hear is, “Oh, me too. I can’t stand them. They’re so annoying.”
They even might want to hear, “Oh, really? Tell me more.”
Eventually, your opinion will either be exactly the same, or it will be shared out in public and have you seen as the bad guy with the terrible view of somebody rather innocent.
“I’ll Do It Later”
No you won’t! Stop making promises you can’t keep!
Expecting a narcissist to fulfill a promise is only going to lead to heartache, yet victims still insist on doing it.
There is always a later with narcissists, but that ‘later’ never sees what you want or need from them ever happening.
