Last Updated on October 15, 2021 by Alexander Burgemeester
Some people use the terms ‘making love’ and ‘sex’ as if they are the same thing. But making love transcends beyond physical pleasure and creates a sense of undeniable intimacy. Making love is about feeling connected and sharing emotional closeness.
So, what are the signs he is making love to you? And how do you know he enjoyed it? Let’s get into what the experts have to say.
15 Signs He Is Making Love to You
What are the signs he is making love to me? Sometimes, I can’t tell. He says sweet things and seems into spending time together, and I feel safe around him. But what if this is just sex to him? What else should I be looking for?
#1 He’s Focused on Your Pleasure
When someone just wants to have sex, their needs are often selfish. They focus on their pleasure, which can be disappointing and frustrating for their partner.
Therefore, it’s a good sign if he cares deeply about your satisfaction. It means he wants you to be as enthusiastic and fulfilled as he feels!
Pleasure, of course, comes with both communication and practice. But if he’s focused on your needs, he will want to learn what works best for you. He’ll be open to new foreplay suggestions or preferred sexual positions. In other words, he wants you to enjoy the experience as much as he is.
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#2 He Loves Foreplay
Making love is the antidote to selfish behavior. If he’s really into being with you, he will want to ensure that he accounts for every moment of pleasure.
Most women need foreplay to feel physically and emotionally aroused. But, unfortunately, men don’t always take care of that need- instead, some of them rush to take care of their pleasure.
But if you’re making love, there is no rush whatsoever. He will have no problem taking as much time as possible to make sure you’re completely satisfied.
#3 He Takes His Time
If he only cares about having sex, he probably only cares about one mission: his orgasm. And while this may sound crass, you’ll notice it with how quickly some men rush the act.
But if you’re making love, the entire process is pleasurable. It isn’t just about the main event- every step is part of the main event, and every step can be immensely enjoyed.
Does he take his time getting you hot and bothered? Does he slow down if things are getting too heated too quickly? In other words, is he checking in with your pace and making sure that you’re getting the most of this time together?
#4 He Kisses You Deeply
Kissing is such an intimate act, and if he kisses you often during sex, it means he’s feeling connected to you at the moment. He might not just be kissing you on the lips, either! Good lovemaking may mean kissing you everywhere!
The same can be said if you spend a significant amount of time making out before sex. He’s excited and wants to share that passion with you.
#5 He Says Your Name
Making love is personal. If he’s truly feeling connected to you, he’ll probably be moaning or whispering your name during sex. And while it’s fairly normal to fantasize (even in a healthy relationship), making love is all about the two of you.
Of course, it’s important to note that if he doesn’t say your name, it isn’t necessarily a bad thing. Some men are simply quieter than others. But if he frequently says your name during sex, that’s a positive sign that he’s experiencing an immense emotional connection with you. Similarly, if he was saying your name in the past- and now he doesn’t- that’s a cause for concern.
#6 He Keeps Eye Contact
According to Tatyana Dyachenko, a psychologist and sex therapist, “Making and holding eye contact during lovemaking is a sign of deeper intimacy and connection.”
Eye contact is undoubtedly vulnerable in most situations- it can feel especially uncomfortable during intimacy. But when making love to someone, eye contact tends to feel far more natural. You want that more profound connection to someone else. At that point, it’s more than a physical act- it’s a way to build closeness and safety with your partner.
#7 He Asks How You’re Feeling
A man who cares about your pleasure is going to want to make sure you’re enjoying yourself. That means he will routinely check to assess if things feel good or safe. If it’s a newer partner, he won’t just automatically assume he knows what’s best.
He may ask you to show him what you like best. Even if this feels uncomfortable, remember that it means he wants you to experience maximum pleasure. You deserve that!
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#8 He Loves Your Body
Most of us have body insecurities, but when you’re making love with someone, you aren’t thinking about how their thighs or stomach look. Instead, you’re enjoying yourself in the moment!
For this reason, don’t be surprised if he seems to light up around you when you’re naked. He probably finds you entirely irresistible. And even if intimacy with the lights on may feel exposing to you, there’s a good chance he loves it!
#9 He Lingers Around
One key difference between sex and making love is that the connective feelings can persist for hours or days after the act.
To soak in those good feelings, he’s going to want to stick around. If he comes over at night, he’ll want to sleep over and probably have breakfast together the next day. And don’t be surprised if he asks if you can still spend more time together after that!
#10 He Can Be Silly
Sex doesn’t always need to be serious, and one of the signs he’s making love to you may be revealed through his humor. When you feel comfortable with someone, you can let your guard down. You feel safe being authentic and even vulnerable.
So, if he’s cracking jokes or being funny in bed, don’t necessarily dismiss it as him not caring. If anything, it may mean the opposite! He may enjoy making love so much that he feels entirely comfortable being his true self.
#11 He’s Consistently Available (Outside The Bedroom)
Intimacy is so much more than sex and physical pleasure. It’s an emotional and romantic connection, and it’s the thread of any healthy relationship. If a man loves you, he’s going to want to spend time lavishing you and enjoying your company!
So, how does he treat you when you’re out and about? Does he take you out on dates? Does he text you at random times, telling you how much you mean to him? Does he make a genuine effort to care about you and what’s happening in your life?
The sex may be great, but if he disappears afterward, that’s a red flag. On the other hand, he might just be using you for a booty call- or he might not be really ready to commit.
#12 He Didn’t Pressure You Whatsoever
Any coercion (even if it’s subtle or flirtatious) is a serious red flag. It’s a sign that the man probably doesn’t respect your boundaries. No matter the circumstance, all sex should be entirely consensual.
Dr. Wyatt Fisher, a licensed psychologist, agrees, stating when making love, “They won’t be pressuring or pushing for things to turn sexual.” This mindset should apply at every stage of dating. If you’re not ready to have sex- or you don’t want to have sex- that need should be honored at all times.
#13 He Says Romantic Things
There isn’t anything wrong with dirty talk, but making love often entails a deeper sense of adoration and connection. When things are genuinely intimate, he won’t hold back with how he feels.
The act becomes far more emotionally connecting than physically pleasurable. If he’s not overly expressive during sex, there’s a good chance he will be telling you how much he loves you just after.
#14 He Wants to Cuddle
After making love, a man usually wants to stay as connected as possible. That means cuddling, spooning, and staying physically close. Even if you both start dozing off, he wants to end the act on a good note.
#15 You Just Feel More Connected
More than any other sign, how do you feel after having sex? Does it feel like you’re more connected? Do you find your love deepening and growing?
If you’re truly attuned to one another, you’re going to feel all the same benefits of making love. So, if you’re feeling those positive emotions, there’s a strong chance that it’s mutual!
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What Does Love Making Mean to a Man?
Making love is subjective, and men may have different answers for what they consider it to be. However, there are a few universal considerations to keep in mind.
Desire for Vulnerability
According to Shagoon Maurya, a counselling psychologist, “Sex or sexual intercourse might mean various things to many different, but one thing is certain: it’s a normal and healthy action that most people enjoy and find important in their own way. Sex serves all kinds of purposes: passion, closeness, boredom, release, exercise power, meet expectations, make a baby, express love, take consolation, and so on.”
Maurya continues to state that many people use the phrases “having sex” and making love” interchangeably. However, “while making love generally involves sexual intercourse, they do not always refer to the same thing.
When two people make love, their vulnerability is at an all-time high. This is frequently the outcome of their expressing feelings and phrases that they must not have previously done. Both people have a tendency to relax their guard, allowing risk and reward to play a role. During the act of making love, one feels a special bond with their partner and finds it impossible to picture yourself without them.”
Any sex can feel good, but making love can heighten the pleasure to an entirely new level. When you feel truly connected with someone, it releases all sorts of pleasant hormones like serotonin, dopamine, and oxytocin. As a result, your body reacts more favorably to exciting sensations. life without them.”
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Rachel Sommer, a clinical psychologist, states that “When it comes to having sex, the basic principle is merging your physical needs and body parts with your partner. However, making love entails more than physical contact – it includes your mind and soul.
She goes on to say, “There’s lots of meaningful eye contact, and your satisfaction is important to them. Unlike the hasty, to-the-point approach common with just having sex, making love takes time, foreplay is important, and every part of your body gets attention.
How Does a Man Act When He’s Falling in Love?
Men don’t always explicitly tell someone when they’re falling in love. Sometimes, they’re still figuring out their own feelings. Other times, they feel shy about expressing what’s going on. But, regardless of the situation, here are some top signs that he’s falling.
He Wants to Spend More Time With You
As you know, sex doesn’t require an ounce of love. However, some men will use women strictly to hook up, and they don’t want the emotional strings attached.
But if a man wants to spend more time with you (outside of the bedroom), it could mean something deeper is going on. He obviously enjoys your company and wants to get to know you better. This could be one of the first steps of falling in love.
He Wants to Commit
If a man is genuinely in love with you, he will be excited to take your relationship to the next level. He won’t make excuses or procrastinate the next move. He knows what he wants, and he will be excited to transition into milestones together.
Commitment can mean different things for different people. In some cases, for example, it might mean seeing each other exclusively. In others, it might mean moving in together or getting married. But regardless of the circumstances, he will be eager to show you how much he’s invested in your relationship.
He Wants to Meet Your Friends and Family
This is one of the key signs of falling in love. If a man just wants to hook up, he won’t care much about your other relationships. He will want to spend time with you having sex and maybe engaging in other activities that might lead to sex.
But if a man is falling in love, he will absolutely want to know who else is in your corner. So if he starts asking to come to family gatherings or dinner parties, that’s a good sign! He’s showing a level of commitment to the relationship.
He Apologizes for Any Wrongdoing
When men are in love, they aren’t self-righteous. Instead, they want to make sure that you’re feeling respected and understood. He’ll value healthy communication and try to embrace it even when things feel tense.
As a result, he may be quick to say sorry if he thinks he did something to offend you. He will also be open to feedback about how his behaviors affect you.
In the same vein, defensiveness (especially when it’s early in the relationship) can be a significant red flag. It means that he may struggle with empathy, compromise, or healthy communication. In the long run, this pattern could create a disastrous dynamic.
His Body Language Is Open
Does he lean in when he’s speaking to you? Is he sweating more than usual? Does he maintain strong eye contact when the two of you are together?
There is significant research on how we nonverbally communicate with people when we care about them. Proximity is one of the essential signs of connection. Pay attention to the efforts he makes to sit or lean closer to you.
In addition, does he make other efforts to touch you? For example, does he grab your hand when you’re walking or rest his head on your shoulder when you’re on the couch? Does he like to give you foot massages or back rubs? This means he’s comfortable with affection, and he wants to enjoy it with you!
He Makes Exceptions For You
Does he normally hate rollercoasters, but he rides on them with you? Is he more into watching basketball on the weekends, but now he’s fine strolling through the farmer’s market?
Healthy relationships require an inherent sense of compromise. Indeed, he may be falling in love with you if he’s now interested in your hobbies and passions. And if he’s willing to make sacrifices- when he doesn’t normally do so- that definitely means he’s interested!
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How Do You Know if a Man Loves You Secretly?
Some men aren’t quite as open about how they feel, especially when it comes to vulnerable situations like falling in love. Here are some signs he might be crushing harder than you think! If he demonstrates some or all of the signs, there’s a strong chance that love is in the air.
He Really Wants to Impress You
If he’s really into you, don’t be surprised if he goes out of his way to flatter or surprise you. He wants to be on your mind, and he will intentionally act in ways to make sure that happens.
Of course, you want to be mindful of narcissistic tendencies (for example, do his actions seem slimy and incredibly over-the-top?). But a healthy man in love will definitely want to win you over! And you deserve that exciting chase.
He Remembers Small Details
When we love someone, we care about their inner worlds and want to understand them as best we can. So, if he suddenly starts remembering your coworker’s name or your favorite entree at a specific restaurant, pay attention. It could mean that he’s more into you than you realized!
Remembering small details means he’s listening closely. He probably wouldn’t be that attentive if he didn’t care as much!
He Comforts You
Did you have an awful day at work? Are you in a terrible fight with your best friend?
If a man loves you secretly, he’s going to be there for you no matter what. He will listen, care, and attempt to improve the situation as best he can. Unfortunately, this dynamic often causes “friend-zoning.” So, if you adore your validating, amazing male best friend, don’t overlook the possibility that he may have deeper feelings.
He’s Always Thrilled to Help You
Whether you need a ride to the airport or help changing a flat tire, he shows up. And he seems giddy to do it!
Good friends, of course, look after one another. But if he’s always reliable and never balks at the opportunity to support you, he may be in love! And if that’s the case, he will want to continue being as consistent as possible as he can for you. He wants you to know that he’ll do whatever it takes to make sure you’re safe and happy.
He Teases You
It’s one of the most classic signs of being in love, but if he feels comfortable poking fun at you, it means he feels a connection with you. He wouldn’t be doing that if he only saw you as a friend.
With that in mind, the teasing shouldn’t be cruel or repetitive. If it isn’t lighthearted and enjoyable, it could be a deeper sign of emotional abuse. You definitely don’t want to start a relationship on that note.
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How Do You Know if a Guy Thinks You’re Good in Bed?
You’re enjoying the intimate moment. Everything is feeling good. But what’s he thinking? How do you know if he’s as into it as you are?
He Tells You!
If a man tells you the sex was incredible or that you’re amazing, don’t discredit it! Some men can be incredibly literal and direct in expressing their feelings. So don’t assume he’s just flattering you.
Moreover, if he keeps telling you afterward how much he enjoyed himself, you should take his words at face value! Most people don’t hand out those compliments without justification.
He Enjoys Pillow Talk
One of the key signs he loves you when making love is how he behaves just after the act. Does he jump up and head for a solo shower? Does he fall right asleep? Or does he spend time talking and cuddling and connecting?
Even if it doesn’t happen all the time, pillow talk is a good sign. It means he enjoyed the moment and wants to bask in the afterglow with you.
If a man thinks you’re good in bed, he’ll likely be open to whatever suggestions you have for spicing things up. That’s because he trusts your taste, and he knows it will likely lead to more pleasurable opportunities.
If he thinks you’re good in bed, he will be excited to try new things together. He may have suggestions, but he will definitely want to hear yours.
Try to keep those lines of communication as open as possible. Good sex starts with good discussions, and it’s important to be transparent about your needs and desires. After all, nobody can read your mind!
He Always Seems Into It
If your sex life seems red-hot, and he always seems eager to please (and be pleased), that’s a good sign. He probably thinks you’re excellent in bed!
On the contrary, if you weren’t great, he’d probably be less enthusiastic and more mechanical. At that point, it might just feel like going through the motions.
Is he loud and expressive in bed? If so, it means he’s enjoying himself and doesn’t feel the need to inhibit his pleasure.
Of course, some men are louder than others, and a quiet man doesn’t necessarily signify disinterest. But if he was once loud and enthusiastic- and he now appears withdrawn- this could be something worth exploring.
He Needs Time to Recover
Good sex can leave a man breathless and slightly numb. That’s a good sign. It meant he fully embraced the experience and enjoyed himself. As a result, he may need some time to recover from all that excitement!
Don’t be discouraged if he isn’t in the mood to go at it right again. After great sex, it can take time to work up the stamina to reignite that desire! As men get older, their refractory periods often get longer. This isn’t personal; it’s just biology!
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Sex is an important part of intimacy. But the difference between sex and making love is significant. If making love is a priority to you, it’s imperative that you’re with someone who feels the same way! Otherwise, you’re bound to feel used or even resentful.
What does authentic lovemaking mean to a man? If you ask ten men, you’ll probably get ten different answers. But among those answers, you’ll see common themes: connection, intimacy, safety, and love.
And remember that, while it’s important to pay attention to how someone treats you in bed, it may be even more significant to focus on how he treats you everywhere else!