Weight is now an issue that most people are brutally aware of. Whether you feel you’re too much of this, or not enough of that – weight is a strong talking point.
When you decide that you want to make some changes to your own weight, you should do it because you want to, or need to.
There needs to be no more influence on your body other than what your own personal goals are.
Narcissists, in their entitled states, feel they can dictate to you, and tell you exactly how to be.
And it’s not right.
As your weight changes, they will react to it.
Let’s comb through them right now.
Changes…
Are inevitable!
We grow, we age, we start families. Some of us may become physically ill meaning we are less mobile.
Other times, you may experience an illness that causes you to lose a lot of weight, or you may simply want to shed a few pounds that are pushing you into an unhealthy weight bracket.
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Changes come, and with that – so do the narcissist’s reactions.
Weight Loss
#1 Jealousy
Cut it out if you’re doing something to improve your life or how you feel about yourself!
The narcissist will put you on their jealousy hit-list!
Heaven forbid they do anything to change their life for the better.
#2 Discard
Listen, whatever you do with your weight, prepare to be discarded at some point.
You can be pushed to do something, and they will blame you for it. You can choose to do something all by yourself, and they will still blame you.
And in this case, the blame will be in the form of abandoning you (temporarily or permanently).
#3 Accusations
You’re losing weight! Who’s the lucky person?
Why are you getting thinner? Who are you doing it for?
Who are you trying to impress?
You’re cheating!
In all honesty – give it a break, narcissist!
Maybe, just maybe, they’re doing it for themselves!
#4 Hurtful Comments
You look ridiculous.
You’re aging so quickly.
The more weight you lose, the more haggard you look.
Really?!
Is that any way to act around somebody who is trying hard to do something for themselves?
Equally, if you fall ill and lose weight, you won’t want to hear those kinds of comments at all.
…Which is precisely why the narcissist says them.
#5 They’re a Victim
What about me?
Why are you putting yourself first when I need you?!
Whinge, whine, and more whinging.
The narcissist hates that you’re proactive, and wants to shrink you back down into that small palace they’re used to controlling you.
Don’t play that game any longer!
#6 Punishment
Silence.
Rage.
Threats.
The narcissist will punish you for daring to look and feel better than you did prior.
It’s as if doing anything positive for yourself is a crime. They will act as though it is in the hope you stop and revert back to the old you.
Be strong!
#7 “I Preferred You Before”
I think I speak for all of us when I say:
Oh, shut up.
If you’re getting a little more attention from people who are commenting on your weight loss, it’s going to be hard for the narcissist to be ignored.
Tough!
Weight Gain
#1 Withholding Intimacy
Just when you think you cannot find yourself any more insecure than you have been lately, the narcissist takes away any crumb of affection they were left giving you.
Withholding intimacy purposely is a type of abuse, and on top of any weight changes you’re experiencing, it will feel even more difficult.
The narcissist wants to blame you all the time, so if your body is changing, they will have a problem with it.
It means they can point the finger to you and tell you what a failure you are.
That you’re weak. You don’t care for yourself, so you aren’t fit to take care of them.
As the ultimate punishment – they will withhold intimacy.
#2 More Hurtful Comments!
Hurtful comments fall out of a narcissist’s mouth like air.
They will arrive at your ears thick and fast, and will intend on making you feel even worse than you probably already do.
That’s their aim. The chipping away at you will never stop.
#3 Discard
What better way to leave you out in the cold than by discarding you altogether?
The narcissist will see you trying to make peace with them, but they won’t be interested. Instead, you will be left neglected and isolated, wondering what you did wrong.
Why would anybody only ever like you looking one way?
#4 They Feed Your Gain, Then Insult You
If you have noticed the weight creeping on during your time with the narcissist, try not to think it’s the end of the world.
We are all built differently, and weight is nothing but a vessel to carry us. It can be lost or gained by changing up your diet and focusing more on where you find your happiness.
Nobody should be telling you how to look, or insult you for how you do look.
Love is not this, I promise you.
It is common for narcissists to see you as a threat to their own image. Over time, that can look like trying to change you so that you feel more insecure about yourself.
Then they hold that against you, and insult you for your appearance changes.
I have seen it many times, and I know its effect on those who experience such cruelty. Yet the one thing remains:
This behavior cruises under the radar so much that it’s barely even noticed.
It’s time to start noticing.
#5 Refuse To Take The Blame
Well, I’m not forcing you to eat the takeaway I order every other day.
You’re so fat! Don’t blame me for asking you to eat less.
Narcissists will throw comments your way in order for you to evaluate your weight.
If you dare do anything about it (whether that be weight loss through healthy eating, or weight gain through ‘treating yourself’ more), they won’t hold the blame.
Remember – nothing is the fault of the narcissist!
(Eye roll).
#6 Reiterate That You Aren’t Lovable
As if you didn’t already get that vibe from the horrible, toxic narcissist anyway.
If you’re so lovable, why do they even choose you for company? Surely the noble thing to do would be to leave you, or distance themselves from you.
Nope.
The narcissist likes to tell you that there’s nothing lovable about you, while simultaneously never leaving you alone.
What sort of message does that send to you? It tells you any weight changes are negative, and that they aren’t going to go away.
#7 Compliment Other Women They Deem More Attractive
Is there a worse way to make you feel inadequate or to play on your insecurities?
This can come from any narcissist, whether they’re your partner, friend or a relative.
It doesn’t matter what you look like, or how much you weigh, a narcissist is going to compare you if they know it’ll upset you.
Oh, I don’t mean to upset you.
You know I am just kidding.
It wouldn’t hurt you to try more, that’s all I’m saying.
All these sick justifications for them pulling you down and making you hate yourself more are nothing but cruel and calculated attempts to hurt you more.
