Do you ever think about narcissists being scared? Highly doubtful if you assume they’re just the type of people who bite as they bark.
Let me tell you, there are countless things that actually scare them. Even things you’d be totally shocked about!
Don’t for one second believe that the narcissist is bulletproof because you’re about to find out that it’s actually the opposite.
From the plain stupid, to the plain bizarre, here are 14 things that scare narcissists.
It’s Hard To Believe, But…
Narcissists get scared. They’ll never show it. They’d rather paint their ego all over it and pretend as though it doesn’t exist.
That makes figuring them out quite difficult, but once you get to know the things they fear, their true character will be much easier to piece together.
And I know what you’re going to think when you work your way through the list.
But it’s okay. I know narcissists aren’t normal, and you know it, too.
#1 Your Joy
Your joy, or any happiness you exude, is an emotion the narcissist feels quite afraid of.
No, there’s nothing fundamentally scary about you feeling good and positive, but it’s the kind of emotion they’re never able to really feel.
Sure they seem happy at times, but it’s all on the surface. If you were to dig a little deeper, you wouldn’t find anything there.
Because they live so superficially, joy simply isn’t possible. And seeing you so able to feel it, sit in it and appreciate it makes it truly terrifying for them.
#2 Love
Narcissists are so good at being passionate or offering gestures of love. Tokens, if you will.
The meals, the gifts, the weekends away, the intimacy, the compliments – but love? It’s a totally different ball game.
When you tell them you love them, you’re saying how you feel, and in turn you’re being somewhat vulnerable.
To love is to take a huge chance on somebody else, and hoping they feel the same way you do.
For them, they hear it, and they are even known for saying it back.
But saying it is one thing. They’re terrified of feeling it and experiencing it as another.
They don’t want to be hurt. They already hurt people.
#3 Intimacy
While being intimate is not a problem for narcissists, true intimacy is. The opening of hearts late at night while laying in bed together.
The small ways to show somebody you care. The emotional connection between two people. Talking about fear, hopes, goals, dreams – you’ll never get it all.
Narcissists will tell you what they want to tell you, but past that, they are simply unwilling and too afraid to speak what’s really on their mind and exactly what they want from life.
This kind of intimacy opens doors for their well-built image to be ruined. They don’t want to be human, they just want to be right all the time.
#4 Fear
The only thing to fear is fear itself, right?
Narcissists aren’t a fan of fear, and will try to avoid anything that involves bringing their own to light.
That’s why you’ll often hear them make excuses if you want to do something spooky for Halloween, or go hiking up that mountain in the summer.
If they don’t want to do it through fear, all you’ll see is some overcompensation or a list of reasons as to why they can’t make it.
Remember – you’re not allowed to know this fear.
#5 Vulnerability
Your vulnerability is worth its weight in gold to the narcissist. But their own vulnerability? Forget it.
They can listen to you talk about your fears, triggers, worries and anxieties all day long. After all, they can then use them against you.
When it comes to their own vulnerable side, the narcissist – scared- hides it well, not wanting to be drawn into discussions that weaken their character.
#6 Losing
When a narcissist loses, they hate it. They are suddenly left wide open to criticism, mocks and jeers – the very thing they exude onto their victims because they know it ignites pain.
They don’t want to feel that pain. So they avoid engaging in anything that puts them at risk.
However, if an occasion where they lose arises, it scares the life out of them.
We all thought they were perfect, right?
Well… wrong!
#7 Being Overshadowed
Is someone more popular? More successful? More confident? In a higher power of position? More known? More knowledgeable?
Far be it from me to step on your toes. We all have our place, and sometimes we need to take a step back and let others hold that limelight.
Narcissists? They’re terrified of being overshadowed this way.
Their ego cannot be stroked if they are in the dark!
#8 Lack of Attention
Similarly, in any situation where the narcissist isn’t getting any attention, they will hate it.
The fear of being left out or forgotten will almost be palpable, and it will show up so boldly that you will be able to tell immediately.
#9 Living Without Grandiosity
Expensive everything.
Food.
Hobbies.
Homes.
Cars.
Clothes.
Jewelry.
Vacations.
It all has to have money behind it because narcissists love to live in their own grandiose world. To them, money equals success, and success equals power.
I know that’s now how most of us operate, but without it, the narcissist will feel just like us mere peasants.
#10 Abandonment
Narcissists have an innate fear of abandonment, that’s why they take that ear and use it against you.
They’ve no qualms in letting you go, discarding you or ignoring you. It’s okay to make you feel or be abandoned.
But the moment the narcissist is at risk of abandonment, it highlights their biggest insecurities – the idea that they simply are not lovable enough to remain with.
#11 Rejection
When a narcissist reacts to rejection, they respond with rage, anger and a disproportionate and intense aggression.
It’s like nothing you have ever seen before.
What you have to understand about fear is that it never presents as that emotion. There’s never any rationality.
#12 Invalidation
If you aren’t telling a narcissist how brilliant or fabulous they are, then what are you even doing?
Their response to your nonchalance about them is actually to feel a little scared. After all, the beating heart of their ego relies solely on you complimenting them constantly.
#11 The Success of Others
You mean, the success isn’t happening to the narcissist?
Why not?
They always have to have all the good things, all of the time!
Success is an obsession. If it’s not happening to them, they demand to know why not. And if you’re achieving something they aren’t, you’re an official threat to them.
#12 Your Courage
Anybody who has an ounce of courage is a little intimidating to the narcissist.
They don’t want bravery, they want obedience. They want you to please them, and do whatever it takes to make them happy.
If you aren’t doing it, then why not?
Standing up for yourself in anyway will throw them off their toxic tracks.
