14 Things Narcissists Are Secretly Afraid of

Have you ever considered the possibility that the seemingly strong and impenetrable narcissist in your life might have hidden fears? Beneath their hard-shell exterior often lie covert insecurities.

They are well hidden, and the narcissist will do everything in his power to keep their fears safe and secret.

Here are 14 things Narcissists are secretly afraid of.

#1 Exposure

One of the deepest fears narcissists harbor is the fear of exposure – having their imperfections and insecurities revealed to the world. They’ll do anything to maintain their crafted persona.

You see, they’re not just protecting their pride. They’re shielding their fragile egos. When exposed, they feel threatened and vulnerable.

It’s not just an embarrassment. It’s a blow to their self-constructed reality.

#2 Criticism

When you criticize a narcissist, prepare for an intense backlash as their fear of criticism is deeply rooted in their need for perfection and admiration. They’re hypersensitive to any perceived slight, often responding angrily or defensively.

This fear stems from their inflated self-image, which they desperately try to uphold. Hence, your critique is seen not as constructive but as a direct attack on their persona.

#3 Rejection

Just as a critique can feel like an attack on a narcissist’s persona, rejection can be even more devastating. It’s as if their self-perceived worth is contradicted, often sparking narcissistic rage or plunging them into despair.

#4 Losing control

Losing control is a narcissist’s worst nightmare, causing them significant anxiety and driving their need to dominate their environment. It’s not just about manipulating others; it’s about maintaining their self-image.

Their carefully constructed facade might crumble if they can’t control their surroundings. This fear often triggers their oppressive behavior, making them more aggressive in their quest to maintain control.

#5 Abandonment

Fear of abandonment can consume a narcissist, as they deeply dread losing sources of their much-needed narcissistic supply. This fear drives them to manipulate and control those around them.

They’ll cling tightly if you’re in their life, terrified to lose you. But remember, it’s not about you—it’s about their fear of being alone, without the attention and validation they crave.

#6 Not Being Special or Unique

While abandonment deeply unsettles a narcissist, another aspect that keeps them constantly on edge is the possibility of not being perceived as special or unique.

To you, their need to stand out may seem excessive. But for them, being ordinary is a nightmare.

They crave the spotlight, and the thought of blending into the crowd brings an unbearable fear they’re desperate to escape.

#7 Emotional Intimacy

Diving into the realm of emotional intimacy can be a daunting endeavor for a narcissist.

Their fear lies in vulnerability, which comes with true emotional intimacy. They prefer surface-level interactions to keep their imperfections concealed.

Rather than sharing feelings, they shield their true selves, avoiding the risk of exposure. Emotional intimacy threatens their carefully constructed facades and that’s what they fear.

#8 Failure

In the eyes of a narcissist, failure isn’t an option; it’s a terrifying prospect that threatens their meticulously crafted self-image.

They’ve built a persona of perfection and success, so any hint of defeat shakes their confidence deeply.

The mere thought of failing, of not being the best, sends them into a state of anxiety and distress. This fear often drives their relentless pursuit of success.

#9 Dependence

Shifting from their fear of failure, let’s consider another aspect that terrifies narcissists: the prospect of dependence.

They’re scared stiff of relying on others, it makes them feel weak, vulnerable. They can’t stand feeling less than self-sufficient.

This fear often drives their behaviour, pushing them to extremes to prove they don’t need anyone else. Dependence, for them, is akin to defeat.

#10 Irrelevance

Feeling irrelevant or unimportant can be a narcissist’s worst nightmare. They crave being the center of attention, the most significant person in the room. It’s not just about vanity, it’s their lifeblood.

They’ll likely ramp up their attention-seeking behavior if they sense they’re fading into the background. It’s a desperate attempt to avoid the fear they dread most: becoming irrelevant.

#11 Insignificance

Just as the fear of becoming irrelevant can haunt a narcissist, so too can the dread of insignificance. They crave the spotlight, fearing that without it, they are insignificant.

This fear drives them to seek attention constantly, making them feel worthy.

#12 Being Outshone

In the spotlight of life, their fear of being outshone by others can significantly shape their behavior as a narcissist.

They are always striving to be the best, superior to all. This fear of being overshadowed fuels their constant need for recognition and validation.

When someone else shines brighter, it threatens their self-worth, causing them to react negatively, often with jealousy and rage.

#13 Their Own Feelings

As a narcissist, confronting their feelings may seem like an impossible challenge, often leading to denial or distortion of emotions. They fear genuine emotion’s complex, raw vulnerability, so they suppress it.

Yet, this denial can lead to emotional turmoil, as unaddressed feelings don’t simply vanish. It’s a constant, draining battle, but facing their emotions is a fear they keep hidden.

#14 Aging

While suppressing their emotions can lead to internal struggles, another fear that they might contend with as a narcissist is the fear of aging. This fear stems from a perceived loss of beauty, power, and control.

They might go to great lengths to maintain youthfulness, as aging threatens their self-image. The prospect of losing admiration due to aging can be deeply unsettling for them.

Final Words

They will never show it, but the Narcissist is afraid of many things. They do everything to keep up their fake image of themselves being perfect, and there are a lot of threats to taking this image down.

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