You’re so beautiful.
I can’t think of anybody more perfect for that job than you.
You make every day better.
You can do it, just believe in yourself!…
…Said no narcissist ever.
You’ll never hear these kinds of phrases because they enhance a person’s confidence.
Narcissists are hellbent on destroying it.
I bet now you’re wanting to know the top 13 phrases they say in order to do that…
…Lucky for you then…!
Knowing a Phrase is Toxic
When you surround yourself with a narcissist for too long, it’s sometimes hard to see what’s toxic and what’s not.
They have such a way about them that they can deliver cutting remarks under a smile or pretending to have your best interests at heart.
When you can differentiate – your world will change.
Holding Onto Your Confidence
Your confidence isn’t for anybody else to take, and it’s never too late to get it back even if you’ve lost a huge chunk of it.
Your confidence is what carries you through life, and without it you become a shadow of yourself.
That’s why you must always be aware of these phrases – and never believe them.
13 Toxic Phrases Narcissists Use To Destroy Your Confidence
1. “You’re Not Going Out Like That, Are You?”
A classic, you’ll agree!
You’re ready and dressed up for the night. For once, you took the time to look good, and despite your shrinking confidence, you pulled an outfit out of the bag that made you feel semi-normal.
As you grace the narcissist with your presence, they come out with this.
And suddenly you feel two feet small again.
You don’t want to go. You want to change, but it’s too late, so the most likely scenario is that you must go dressed as you feel completely self-conscious all night.
Either that or you are told – almost demanded – that you put something else on.
2. “You’re Not Going To Make It”
This is a classic line used by narcissistic parents to their children.
Especially the kind of children who dare to dream and set large goals for themselves.
You’re not going to make it is meant to destroy your confidence so that, by default, you stop chasing your dreams or settle for that 9-to-5 rather than go for what you really want.
It’s how narcissists keep you boxed up, away from your true potential. They don’t want you to be more successful than they are because then they will be considered the failure.
3. “I’m Busy, Not Now”
Narcissists are always too busy when it matters to you, yet expect you to drop everything for them.
If you need them, or want to talk, they will do their best to ensure you think you don’t matter by pushing you to the side and telling you to be quiet.
Over time, you learn that your feelings mean nothing. The time eventually comes where you ignore your own.
4. “Alright, Calm Down”
Oh, having a good time, are we?
Well, that’ll have to stop for starters!
We can’t have you having too much fun, because it might make you feel good!
Narcissists sarcastically tell you to calm down or roll their eyes at you if you dare get overly happy about something you achieved, such as exams results or passing a test at work.
Eventually, you stop bothering altogether.
5. “I Can’t Stand it When You Act Like This”
Acting like what?!
Narcissists can’t stand it when you act even remotely positive, so what’s the difference?
If you’re planning a party or trying to organize little home improvements, this would be a great opportunity for the narcissist to remind you that they can’t stand that about you.
You’re there, innocently attempting to be assertive or forward-thinking, and you’re almost punished for it.
6. “Don’t Get Overexcited, It’s Embarrassing”
Narcissists will be quick to tell you when they feel embarrassed by you, for no other reason than to blatantly shame you.
Suppose you’re excited to get concert tickets, looking forward to seeing somebody, or just positively anticipating a part of your future. In that case, that’s when you will be brought back down to reality by the narcissist.
Your excitement is something they cannot relate to. They want to sap your joy as a result, and indeed will do.
7. “When Was The Last Time You Had Your Hair Cut?”
You don’t have to look perfect in order to feel good, but it’s nice to seem as though you’re taking care of yourself and your needs, right?
When somebody toxic asks you directly about your appearance, you know they’re trying to make you feel negatively about yourself.
They want you to feel like total s**t.
Why? Because they feel that way every day, and how dare you not?!
8. “This Food is Too Cold, Spicy, Did You Put Onions In This?”
Hey, you know it would be really nice if you cooked more from scratch. We eat too many takeouts.
Do you think it would hurt to start making different dishes? It seems you just keep cooking the same ones – it’s boring.
Okay – so you do.
And it’s not good enough.
It’s hot, it’s cold, it’s spicy, it has too much garlic, it doesn’t have enough salt – anything!!
It’s the baseline to every victim’s story: nothing is ever good enough.
Talk about nailing the coffin with your confidence locked up inside.
9. “Nobody Would Want You!”
That old chestnut!
Narcissists truly ensure you believe that you’re not lovable to anybody else.
Not a single soul would love you or want you – and telling you makes you feel about as low as possible.
10. “You’re Worthless”
Worthless? That’s a huge and cutting word to describe somebody you’re supposed to love, right?
Which should actually ring alarm bells for you, but you’d be surprised how it doesn’t.
That’s because victims are programmed to not believe what they think to be true, so logic goes right out the window most of the time.
11. “I Was Just Joking”
No you weren’t.
You were being mean and now you’re trying to pass it off as a joke so you don’t look like the biggest jerk on the planet.
Except nobody else is laughing and you’ve (as usual) hurt somebody’s feelings along the way.
12. “They Obviously Felt Sorry For You”
Getting that job, being given a raise, getting a good deal on something you bought, or making a new friend obviously can’t be the case because you’re a good person who happened to get lucky in the moment.
Surely it involved an element of sympathy for you for whatever reason.
This is unkind and unnecessary – furthermore – it’s untrue.
13. “You Can’t Survive Without Me”
Yes you can, and you will.
Being told you can’t is supposed to knock your confidence so you give up trying to live without them.
Then what?
Oh, that’s right. Then the narcissist gets to abuse you forevermore!
