The joyous occasion of when somebody you care about meets your friends for the first time is one that should be a core memory.
You want it locked in, and you want to feel all warm and fuzzy inside.
That’s all well and good…until the narcissist comes along and the red flag in your back pocket starts to twitch.
It’s begging to be waved around – and 13 behaviors will allow for that.
13 is considered an unlucky number for some – but for you – these 13 red flag behaviors act as knowledge…
Bringing you nothing but much needed luck.
Red Flags
I have to say, even in this day and age with all the information out there about narcissists, red flags are still ignored or dismissed.
What do you think of when you hear the term red flag?
For me, it’s any kind of worrying or offensive behavior purposely omitted by an individual.
Much of the time, if the rose tinted glasses are rosy enough, the person on the receiving end simply shrugs and says, “It’s just who they are,” or even worse, “Yeah, they are an ass, but what can I do?”
Sometimes, red flags don’t even have to be overtly worrying. It can look like real charm and seduction.
That’s when things get murky. You want to know somebody is a terrible person, so you’d prefer to see them act that way from the start so you can run the other way fast!
This is why people like me exist, and why topics like this crop up for you to gain knowledge on.
Knowledge is power!
Let’s check these behaviors out.
#1 The Prince Charming Effect
Such is the common way to meet any narcissist, the Prince Charming Effect will lure you in rather than drag you.
You’re curious as much as you are flattered that the attention from somebody so overwhelmingly wonderful is heading your way.
Because of this, it becomes easy to invite your friends and the narcissist into the same space.
To meet.
To mingle.
To mix.
While your friends are seemingly unaware of the narcissist’s real motive, the narcissist is having the time of their life presenting as the perfect person.
All manners are intact. Ears are open to listen to your friends. Offers to wash the dishes are falling out of their mouth.
They cannot do any more to help or produce this Prince Charming image.
It’s been something they’ve worked on and crafted over a long time, and you are nothing more than their next victim.
#2 The Loving Faithful
I love you, and I will not leave your side!
Whatever y ou have to say, you can say it to us both!
I’m here for you!
I love you so much!
I can’t believe how lucky I was to find you!
Yadda yadda, blah blah blah.
The loving and faithful can and will appear OTT when the narcissist meets your friends.
It’s like they’re claiming you, and they want it to be known by all that you’re now a couple – together – as one.
Yuck.
#4 Trying To Make You The Joke
It’s the one thing you all have in common at this one time – you.
So the narcissist is keen to bring people together and make a little joke up about you. They can be subtle, sure. Here and there are little comments or digs.
But they’re red flags designed to annoy and niggle at you. The narcissist wants to put you down, and it starts this small yet this effective.
#5 Extreme Political Talk
Okay, who wants to talk about the upcoming elections in a room full of strangers?
a person who wants attention and who wants to look important and intelligent.
Forgive me but, there’s a time and a place. Take your politics and your red flag somewhere else.
#6 Asking Questions About Your Exes
So, what number am I then?
Am I nicer than her ex?
Does she still talk to her ex?
The narcissist may not be so subtle when it comes to finding out about your past.
They will want to know the ins and outs, and questions that start off innocently, may not end up being that way.
What they find out they can out do in no time.
And even worse – if your ex was abusive, they can win you over before executing more of the same.
#7 Not Disclosing Information About Themselves
The less is known, the better. This is all to keep under the radar and just appear the ‘nice person.’
I mean no harm.
I’m not here to fall out.
Just ignore me.
Nobody talk to me.
Not only does that appear rude, it appears insincere.
This isn’t about being bashful. This has everything to do with being a wolf in sheep’s clothing.
#8 Offering To Pay For Everything
Okay, we get it. You have money. You carry an extortionate amount of cash around with you.
Do you want a medal, too?
Narcissists are known to flash the cash. They love to be viewed as a provider Somebody who can. Someday clever enough to earn it.
Money isn’t everything, believe it or not.
If you’re not a narcissist, you will be acutely aware of this already.
#9 Ignoring You
You’re nothing to them when they’ve got half a dozen new forms of supply.
The narcissist will soak it all up, leaving you for later.
Later is when the tables turn, and you get your energy drained.
#10 Being Purposely Quiet Then Accusing You Of Not Letting Them Talk
This game is for covert narcissists. They will gladly sit back at an event and let you do the talking. They may even seem to enjoy you relishing in the spotlight.
The second you leave?
You certainly liked the sound of your own voice tonight, didn’t you?
Why didn’t you let me get a word in?
You were so controlling.
It’s a red flag you need to spot because, I assure you, it won’t get better.
#11 Making Plans Without Your Say
We’d love to!
Hey, I promised we’d join in with that mountain hike next weekend!
Never mind you told the narcissist you’re working that day.
Who cares if you’re scared of heights?
So what if you made other plans?
The narcissist will want to be seen to run up a list of fun things to do with you, whether you like them or not.
When you decline, you’re the one with the problem, according to them.
#12 Deciding What You’ll Have
She will have the salad.
Just the water, please.
No. Hold the fries.
She doesn’t like onions, do you?
Did you get a word in?
Can you speak for yourself?
It’s about time you did, before more red flags appear!
#13 Private Chipping in Public
If the narcissist has been riled in private by you, or if they know what to say to get to you, they will perfectly deliver this in front of your friends.
And no, your friends won’t even notice. But you will. And it will confuse you. You’ll wonder why they would do this.
That’s the red flag.
