The joyous occasion of when somebody you care about meets your friends for the first time is one that should be a core memory.

You want it locked in, and you want to feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

That’s all well and good…until the narcissist comes along and the red flag in your back pocket starts to twitch.

It’s begging to be waved around – and 13 behaviors will allow for that.

13 is considered an unlucky number for some – but for you – these 13 red flag behaviors act as knowledge…

Bringing you nothing but much needed luck.

Red Flags

I have to say, even in this day and age with all the information out there about narcissists, red flags are still ignored or dismissed.

What do you think of when you hear the term red flag?

For me, it’s any kind of worrying or offensive behavior purposely omitted by an individual.

Much of the time, if the rose tinted glasses are rosy enough, the person on the receiving end simply shrugs and says,

“It’s just who they are,” or even worse, “Yeah, they are an ass, but what can I do?”

Sometimes, red flags don’t even have to be overtly worrying. It can look like real charm and seduction.

That’s when things get murky. You want to know somebody is a terrible person, so you’d prefer to see them act that way from the start so you can run the other way fast!

This is why people like me exist, and why topics like this crop up for you to gain knowledge on.

Knowledge is power!

Let’s check these behaviors out.

#1 The Prince Charming Effect 

Such is the common way to meet any narcissist, the Prince Charming Effect will lure you in rather than drag you.

You’re curious as much as you are flattered that the attention from somebody so overwhelmingly wonderful is heading your way. 

Because of this, it becomes easy to invite your friends and the narcissist into the same space. 

To meet.

To mingle.

To mix.

While your friends are seemingly unaware of the narcissist’s real motive, the narcissist is having the time of their life presenting as the perfect person.

All manners are intact. Ears are open to listen to your friends. Offers to wash the dishes are falling out of their mouth.

They cannot do any more to help or produce this Prince Charming image. 

It’s been something they’ve worked on and crafted over a long time, and you are nothing more than their next victim.

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#2 The Loving Faithful

I love you, and I will not leave your side!

Whatever y ou have to say, you can say it to us both!

I’m here for you!

I love you so much!

I can’t believe how lucky I was to find you!

Yadda yadda, blah blah blah. 

The loving and faithful can and will appear OTT when the narcissist meets your friends.

It’s like they’re claiming you, and they want it to be known by all that you’re now a couple – together – as one.

Yuck.

#4 Trying To Make You The Joke

It’s the one thing you all have in common at this one time – you.

So the narcissist is keen to bring people together and make a little joke up about you. They can be subtle, sure. Here and there are little comments or digs.

But they’re red flags designed to annoy and niggle at you. The narcissist wants to put you down, and it starts this small yet this effective.

#5 Extreme Political Talk

Okay, who wants to talk about the upcoming elections in a room full of strangers?

a person who wants attention and who wants to look important and intelligent.

Forgive me but, there’s a time and a place. Take your politics and your red flag somewhere else. 

#6 Asking Questions About Your Exes

So, what number am I then?

Am I nicer than her ex?

Does she still talk to her ex?

The narcissist may not be so subtle when it comes to finding out about your past.

They will want to know the ins and outs, and questions that start off innocently, may not end up being that way. 

What they find out they can out do in no time. 

And even worse – if your ex was abusive, they can win you over before executing more of the same. 

#7 Not Disclosing Information About Themselves

The less is known, the better. This is all to keep under the radar and just appear the ‘nice person.’ 

I mean no harm.

I’m not here to fall out.

Just ignore me.

Nobody talk to me.

Not only does that appear rude, it appears insincere.

This isn’t about being bashful. This has everything to do with being a wolf in sheep’s clothing. 

#8 Offering To Pay For Everything

Okay, we get it. You have money. You carry an extortionate amount of cash around with you.

Do you want a medal, too?

Narcissists are known to flash the cash. They love to be viewed as a provider Somebody who can. Someday clever enough to earn it. 

Money isn’t everything, believe it or not. 

If you’re not a narcissist, you will be acutely aware of this already. 

#9 Ignoring You

You’re nothing to them when they’ve got half a dozen new forms of supply. 

The narcissist will soak it all up, leaving you for later.

Later is when the tables turn, and you get your energy drained.

#10 Being Purposely Quiet Then Accusing You Of Not Letting Them Talk

This game is for covert narcissists. They will gladly sit back at an event and let you do the talking. They may even seem to enjoy you relishing in the spotlight.

The second you leave?

You certainly liked the sound of your own voice tonight, didn’t you?

Why didn’t you let me get a word in?

You were so controlling. 

It’s a red flag you need to spot because, I assure you, it won’t get better.

#11 Making Plans Without Your Say

We’d love to!

Hey, I promised we’d join in with that mountain hike next weekend!

Never mind you told the narcissist you’re working that day.

Who cares if you’re scared of heights?

So what if you made other plans?

The narcissist will want to be seen to run up a list of fun things to do with you, whether you like them or not.

When you decline, you’re the one with the problem, according to them. 

#12 Deciding What You’ll Have

She will have the salad.

Just the water, please.

No. Hold the fries. 

She doesn’t like onions, do you?

Did you get a word in?

Can you speak for yourself?

It’s about time you did, before more red flags appear!

#13 Private Chipping in Public

If the narcissist has been riled in private by you, or if they know what to say to get to you, they will perfectly deliver this in front of your friends.

And no, your friends won’t even notice. But you will. And it will confuse you. You’ll wonder why they would do this.

That’s the red flag. 

When You Stop Caring About The Narcissist They Will Do This!

As long as you love me only works when the narcissist is getting what they want from you. You have to comply, or the dynamics malfunction.

The moment – the very second you stop caring about the narcissist, you’d better take cover.

Not only does their response create the world’s worst emotional tornado – that tornado is an F5 – and it’s heading straight for you.

So what emotions get whipped up, and what exactly does each one mean?

Well, Alex, I’m glad you asked…

Narcissists Need You

The strength a narcissist needs to deny they need you is off the charts! They will deny and refuse to acknowledge that your presence is what’s keeping them going but…

…It’s all for the wrong reasons.

Narcissists destroy you in order to gain something for themselves. They take your world and crumble it in their hands without a second thought.

The love you feel from them is fragmented and temporary, but it’s enough to keep you caring.

You remain loyal, loving and hopeful.

And narcissists need that from you. If they don’t get it, the worthlessness that lies dormant in their empty souls will awaken.

So… what is about your caring nature that they can’t live without?

Your Care is Their Supply

Everytime you show you care, you are offering the narcissist supply.

Supply to them is emotional sustenance. It’s what keeps them going, and it’s sole design to maintain some form of self-worth. 

Needing supply is the main driving force behind many of their toxic behaviors.

This means you stop caring about yourself every time you put your own life or priorities to the side of the road to make room for theirs. 

And the narcissist?

They love it! They love knowing that you would drop anything and everything for them, and that’s the very part of you they abuse!

Can you imagine the horror of it being withdrawn?!

When It Stops?

The day you wake up and promise yourself that you will no longer care about the narcissist is the day your life is going to substantially alter. 

This is when things get really serious.

You’re choosing you for once in your life. You’re choosing to put your own needs first and, in turn, making huge improvements to both your emotional and physical health. 

What does it mean to apply all this energy and positivity to yourself? 

It means it’s unable to be converted to narcissistic supply.

Instead of pleasing the narcissist, you are healing and enriching you.

What Comes Next

I don’t promise initial warmth, kindness, happiness and joy from the narcissist. In fact, I’d bet you won’t get an ounce.

Thinking about it, why would you?!

You’ve done them dirty and stopped caring – so what on earth do you think they will be happy about?

What comes next is going to be all the ways the narcissist wants you to feel. They know that when you stop caring, doing these things will ignite these emotions in you:

• Fear. They want you to fear what they’re capable of. What they know about you. Making you scared to leave them because you’ve been programmed to believe you can’t live without them.

• Intimidation. Your lack of care directly threatens them, and they only know how to retaliate times one thousand! They aren’t going to appreciate you pulling back, and will bully you into being the old you.

• Emptiness. You’re worthless. Your lack of care doesn’t bother them, because you never meant anything to them in the first place. They don’t want to know you, and often you may hear phrases like, “You’re dead to me now.” 

1. Rage

Narcissists are like volcanoes – full of rage that lays dormant until they feel like unleashing it onto you. 

It can surprise you, and it shocks you. Once you see it, you will always anticipate it. 

When you stop caring about them – it is more than possible to witness their rage attacks.

2. Discard

They’re officially done with you. They aren’t interested in trying to woo you or impress you, not after what you’ve spoken up and discovered. 

You’re of no use to them now you have seen them for who they really are. They can’t manipulate you.

They can’t control what you do or who you see. You don’t need them. You no longer care, so to them – you’re yesterday’s news. 

3. Revenge

It is a possibility that the pot of revenge can be cranked up here. Narcissists don’t like to be given the cold shoulder, and to punish you, they will hatch a plan to get back at you. 

Think of revenge along the lines of:

• Spreading lies about you
• Turning people against you
• Throwing your stuff away before you’ve had a chance to claim it all back
• Finding somebody else and professing their true love for them

3. Hoover

It’s never past a narcissist to attempt to hoover you back. If it’s worked in the past, they probably think it might work again.

Think of the usual ways they hoover you. It could be:

• Showing up at your work to profess their love for you
• Stalking you on social media or in person
• Sending constant texts or making calls to you to try to get to talk to you
• Making promises to change and be the person you want them to be

It’s all a ploy to try and get the control back, and change the narrative that they’re the bad guy. 

One Life

Not to want to sound like the cheesiest person on the planet but; you really do only get one life. 

If being with them was bad enough, withholding your care will ignite a whole new level in their evil streak. 

And as always, it’s you who suffers. You will be the one who falls victim to all of what I have spoken, and there’s no escaping it. 

When you give everything you have to a person who fails to appreciate, acknowledge, or love you in return, you abandon your entire being.

As time goes by, that abandonment will reach into every part of your life. 

You want to fix them. You over-give. You try your hardest to take care of the narcissist.

Not only will you push your well-being to one side, but you will also start to feel as though you don’t deserve to have any kind of well-being.

You simply stop caring.

It might start small.

Skipping lunch.

Staying up late to lose yourself watching TV.

Saying you’re ‘fine’ all the time, even when you’re not.

Ignoring warning signs, like a pain, or feeling unwell.

Then it gets bigger.