I am standing in front of you with a huge red flag. I am waving it in your face, and I am yelling:
Never trust the narcissist with anything!
Can you see me? Do you believe me, or are you going to give the narcissist you know the benefit of the doubt?
I beg of you: don’t. I have the ultimate list of 13 reasons why you can never trust a narcissist with anything, and each one comes with its own warning just for you.
#1 They love gossip too much
The moment you tell the narcissist your brilliant, big or secret news, don’t for one second assume they’re going to keep it to themselves.
People only really make that mistake once, and then they learn the hard way. Before you know it, somebody you both know will call or text and take you by surprise.
I had no idea you were pregnant!
Dave told me that you were thinking about moving!
I heard you came into some money.
I was told that you need to have a scan, is everything okay?
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It won’t matter what the subject is, but rather who told it, and how it spread like wildfire.
#2 You’re never as special as they say you are
Although you think you mean something to the narcissist, I want to assure you that you don’t. They want you to think you do because they want to earn your trust so they have it to abuse.
The moment you overly trust them will be the time it’s proven to you that you trusted the wrong person.
You’ll be hurt, let down, and walked all over just because you thought they were somebody who they definitely are not.
#3 Your news is their purpose
Narcissists are nothing without your news. They are bored without engaging in what’s going on with everybody else, and you are sometimes going to be in that firing line.
So when you want to share something, the narcissist will want to latch onto it because they will want a say, an opinion, or to be able to sabotage it.
Isn’t it sad that a narcissist acts like this? When all else is said and done, you can’t trust a narcissist with anything you are going through because they will twist and use your news to ruin.
#4 They never follow through with their word
You can hear the trusting words of a narcissist, and yes, you may believe them, but do they really follow through with what they are saying? Do they actually mean what they say?
No – in a word. A narcissist will promise you the world, and deliver absolutely nothing.
Over time, that alone should make anybody not trust the narcissist whenever they open their mouth.
#5 Don’t expect a finished job
I’ll help you with that.
Leave it with me.
You leave it. And you leave it some more.
What happens?
Nothing.
Tumbleweed flies by, and you are no better off.
The narcissist is keen on starting projects for you, but will never commit to finishing it because they want to keep the control.
They want you to keep asking so they can string you along and watch you get more and more frustrated.
#6 “I lost it”
You trusted the narcissist with something; papers, your belongings, or something they promised to get for you.
But oh wait. They lost it.
How convenient. They want to see the disappointed look on your face as you realize the item in question is out there somewhere, but not in their possession.
When you react, they will remind you that they tried their best, and that you’re ungrateful.
The fact is, they didn’t care enough to take care, and they never will.
#7 “I forgot”
If I were a betting man, I’d bet this phrase would fall out of a narcissist’s mouth most of the time they don’t keep their word.
Forgetting doesn’t bother them. To not remember what matters to you is typical of somebody who thinks the world revolves around them.
They don’t care that they have let you down, or made a promise they know they haven’t kept.
Forgetting is their way of telling you that you aren’t important.
So listen to it.
#8 “I was busy”
Narcissists love to tell the world how busy they are. They think that busyness equates to success, and if they haven’t got time to stop it’s because they are in such demand from the world that it’s not an option.
The trouble is, you were counting on the narcissist to help you with something, and they failed to show up.
This speaks volumes, and proves you can never trust them with anything.
#9 It’s never done how you want it
Why bother trusting somebody like a narcissist with a task, when you could get it done quicker, better and more efficiently?
The thing to remember with these people is that they never want to help because it’s a good thing to do, but it’s usually because they think something is in it for them.
They love the control, and the moment you hand it over, they will sabotage it.
#10 They guilt you for lending a hand
I do all this for you.
This is how you repay me.
You should probably learn to do this yourself.
Fantastic. Now on top of asking for help, you feel guilty for it.
This is why you never bother in the first place, and why you should never trust them to suddenly present any differently to this.
#11 Purposeful sabotage
Even when a narcissist looks as though they’re being trusted well with anything you need them to do, they’re never going to execute it perfectly.
Not at least without sabotaging it in some way, at least.
If you are counting on them, trust that they will purposely ruin it because it’s you and not them who gains at the end of it.
Don’t buy into their illusion.
#12 Wanting to know your business
Wanting to know your business is classic narcissistic behavior. There’s nothing you can do that will be kept from them, and if you want to be able to see through the mask, I beg of you to let go of them now.
Let go of who you want them to be, and see them for who they really are.
Wanting to know everything about you isn’t out of interest, it’s out of entitlement.
Don’t let it happen, and don’t trust them.
#13 Lack of boundaries is a red flag
The fact that any narcissist is trusted is a red flag to me, because as soon as you hand them that trust, they will walk all over your boundaries until they’re firmly stomped into the ground.
From ignoring your limits, to dismissing your opinions and thoughts; the narcissist wants to hold onto their narrative, not what is right.
Expect fireworks from this, and watch how your reaction to their disrespect becomes the problem, rather than their original, toxic behavior.
The biggest red flag of all, and certainly one that means you should never trust them at all.
