Believe me, I sat up almost all night trying to whittle these reasons down to 13, and it took a long time because I could go on and on about the Holidays and narcissists.
They are the worst as soon as somebody mentions Holiday cheer.
They make Ebenezer Scrooge look like the Dalai Lama.
Needless to say, it’s you who has to usually suffer due to their dark, twisted moods.
Now, on with those 13 reasons why narcissists are the worst around the Holidays.
#1 No attention on them
Narcissists love attention like a kid on Halloween loves candy.
Except this is all the time, all year round, and at the cost of everybody who knows them!
We just can’t pass this topic without the most obvious reason being brought up, can we?
The Holidays are bigger than any one person. They are consistent, they are celebrated widely, and people live for them.
The joy, happiness, and the cheer is what brings people together in a warm and loving way.
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The kinds of people who hate that are the kinds of people who don’t like to be a part of something, they like to be something that everybody else is a part of.
#2 They love to play games
Narcissists are forever playing toxic games at the cost of the happiness of others, and during the Holidays, they can be a nightmare when those games are ramped up and spread out even more.
And I know you already know that anticipating those games is a form of very heavy dread that you won’t be able to shake, even when the world is ramping up for whatever big day is coming.
#3 Narcissists want you to dread important events
And there’s the dread, in a category all by itself.
For reasons you wish didn’t exist, you dread even having to spend the Holiday with the narcissist because you know from past experience how impossible they make it for you to be happy about it.
Whether that’s giving you the silent treatment, or creating an argument that will kill the vibe, the narcissist is an expert.
#4…As well as dread anything fun!
And the dread doesn’t stop there! This time it’s the narcissist’s turn to dread, and this is a usual for them.
Narcissists dread anything fun.
Why? Because fun things promote happiness, but beyond that, the expression of happiness.
Narcissists can’t express a thing, which is why they find the Holidays so difficult to manage.
Their black cloud above them is very black.
#5 Family time at a cost
I should be working.
I have this huge project at work.
I gave up overtime – and a lot of money – for this.
It’s always the same with them. Money, money, money.
Suddenly the family who have to hear all of this are apologizing to them for the Holiday, and feeling bad that they truly are missing out on a great work opportunity.
#6 They love seeing you have to fake being okay
When a narcissist makes your life hell right before the Holidays, or even on your way to that big family meal, they do it because they love to see you have to pretend you’re okay when you get there.
Suddenly, your day is about faking it and acting like nothing happened, and the narcissists smirks to themselves as you mask your worries and pain.
#7 The control is a turn on
If a narcissist didn’t love control, they wouldn’t spend so much of their lives trying to get it from literally anybody they can.
Control is a huge turn on for them. It’s what makes their world spin, and what offers them so much supply.
So while you’re sitting there trying to enjoy the Holidays and you feel like something major is off.
You feel drained and depleted. You look up at them and they are on top of the world; that’s why.
#8 “No matter what the day brings, I will be all you think about”
As narcissists know, the Holidays are not bigger than they are. However, that doesn’t stop them trying to make it all about them.
If they can cause problems from the start, what happens after is you only think about the trouble.
You’re in Holiday mode, and people may think you’re having a great time, but behind the scenes, your energy is being swallowed up by the games of the narcissist.
That’s a huge reason why they are the absolute worst around these times of the year.
#9 They can be sweet in front of others and you know its fake
Oh, the sweetness is almost sickly, but to other people, the narcissist is just a nice person.
This is where we need to apply the emergency brakes, because I want you to know that I know it’s all fake.
I say that because it means a lot to victims to have somebody on their side, but this truly is the best time of the year for narcissists who can put on a show and be literally the worst kind of person they can be.
And you have to be there for it all, like a ticket you were forced to buy.
#10 Nobody would believe you even if you spoke up
Imagine if you spoke up about a person who everybody else saw the nicest version of?
What do you mean?
They are lovely!
I think you’re imagining things.
I can’t see them being that way with you.
So what’s the point, right? You stay quiet because you know you won’t be believed, and the narcissist flaunts their charm knowing they’ve won.
These Holidays really are the narcissist’s dream.
#11 They’re joy suckers
Joy is sucked out of everything when a narcissist is involved.
From playing that board game and hearing them laugh obnoxiously as you land in jail again, to demanding a replay if things don’t go their way, they really do shift the mood for the worse.
Don’t even bother trying to point it out, it’ll be a waste of your time and energy. Instead, just see them for what they are:
A nightmare.
#12 They will isolate you
Using ways to isolate you, the narcissist wants you to feel alone. More than that though, they want you to sit in that isolation and associate it with what should be a happy time.
So anytime you know something good is coming, you will get that disgusting anxious feeling in the pit of your stomach.
And those Holiday moments are when the narcissist can be the worst.
Giving you reasons to want to avoid seeing loved ones, or generally making you feel so unworthy that you don’t have the confidence to be around them.
#13 They fake generosity for show
When you finally do all get together, you’re faced with the charm creeping into the narcissist, and the mask being put firmly on.
You see how they act in front of everybody. You witness the lies and wish you could speak the truth but you know nobody will possibly believe you.
Narcissists will flaunt and bring the biggest amount of offerings to the Holiday to prove they’re everything you don’t see in the day to day:
Generous and kind.
