You think it’s time for bed, but the narcissist who is about to lay down next to you has other plans.
What is it about bedtime that starts this inner toxic salivation; this insatiable desire to ruin what should be a very peaceful moment?
Once they know how to get under your skin, they will ensure you are on high alert for the whole night using these 13 creepy bedtime habits.
#1 Watching you sleep
When you’re laying there, blissfully unaware of your surroundings, you sleep at your most soundly.
Letting go enough to feel safe to sleep is how we all rest and restore, but what if your rest is being monitored?
Narcissists adore vulnerability, and there’s nothing more vulnerable than an unconscious person lying next to them.
I sit here now as I type this and think about how creepy it is that you being asleep would almost be a turn on for narcissists as they look at you, knowing they can do anything they want and you won’t even be aware of it.
It’s a pretty sick power to have, don’t you think?
#2 Thinking up their next storm
Whether you’re asleep or not, narcissists love to lay down at bedtime and think about all the damage they’ve caused, and any future ways they can continue their quest to make you miserable.
Who can they make you fall out with? How can they get you to feel even worse about yourself? What can they do next to get all your attention? In what ways can they further manipulate you?
The storms that roll in when you are involved with a narcissist can be unpredictable, but it’s only when you see the clouds coming that you know you’re in for a rough time.
Bedtimes are peaceful, and that time can give them the headspace and quiet they need in order to really start thinking toxically.
#3 Starting an argument with you right before you fall asleep
You’re just about to crawl into bed and shut your eyes after the longest day, only the narcissist has decided to start raising their voice.
What is going on? The mood suddenly shifts, and they bring up something you did a long time ago.
They point out that you didn’t speak much that evening, or you spent too much on groceries this week.
The list goes on and on, but the fact remains: your peace is disturbed, and now you’re on high alert at a time you should be drifting off.
They love to bring out the fear in you.
#4 Refusing to talk with you
When you both get into bed ready to sleep, you might sometimes feel like a little talk before you close your eyes. How was your day, what have you got planned tomorrow, and anything that you can chat about.
The narcissist isn’t having any of it.
They sigh. “Here we go again, talking right before bed.” “Why do you do this as I am literally closing my eyes?” They treat you like you’re an inconvenience. And you’re not.
You’re a person who enjoys talking and taking an interest, but somehow that’s not right either.
In fact, nothing you ever do is right according to the narcissist.
#5 Refusing physical touch or intimacy
When you want and are looking for that nighttime snuggle, you will struggle to get it from a narcissist who is intentionally holding back.
It’s not even that they apologize and say how tired they are, it’s that they consciously shake you off and refute your advances of even a kiss or a hug.
You go to bed wearing a confused frown, and you don’t know what you may have done to deserve the cold shoulder.
You lay down, and they blissfully fall asleep without a care in the world, but you are left wide awake, wondering why this regularly happens.
#6 Commenting heavily on your sleep patterns
How creepy for somebody to comment in detail about your sleep patterns. Are they up all night watching you, and taking notes?
Do they ever sleep themselves? It’s a strange way to behave, I’m sure you’ll agree, but narcissists love it.
They want you to know that they’re keeping tabs on you. When you’re unaware of anything going on around you, you’ve got the narcissist looking right down at you ensuring they don’t miss a beat or a breath.
#7 Invading your personal space
Before I go any further, I need to remind you that this is done purposely to make you feel like you don’t have a single boundary.
Your space is invaded all the time by the narcissist when you’re awake, and not you’re lying in bed waiting to fall asleep and you can’t even turn over without their elbow jabbing you in the side.
They want to exert their presence over you in every way they possibly can, this included.
#8 Mood shifts as you get into bed
When you’ve had a lovely day, but somehow the narcissist has resorted to giving you short, curt answers.
They don’t seem to match with the evening you’ve been enjoying, and you just feel the mood is generally off.
What is it about narcissists and their need to constantly control moods!?
#9 Late-night strangeness
Why are they going off with their phone right before they’re due to get into bed? Why are they creeping around talking in whispers, and who are they walking to?
Why do they insist on keeping their phone locked beside them without you able to even go near it?
Narcissists who lead double lives will be attached to their phones 24/7, and it can become creepy when you see them wandering around doing things that don’t add up to you.
#10 Controlling your sleep schedule
Picking fights, becoming hot and cold, refusing to acknowledge your affection; they’re all ways of interrupting your sleep schedule.
And when you do fall asleep and are deep in the throes of it, narcissists are so good at waking you up by tossing and turning with intent, or poking you and telling you that you woke them snoring.
It’d be sad if it weren’t so creepy and true.
#11 Testing your loyalty with a bad dream
Will you shake them off and tell them to go back to sleep, or will you give them time, hug them and make them a cup of tea at 2am if they ask for it?
Your loyalty is put to the test in the most creepy ways as narcissists pretend they had a bad dream.
Be prepared to be awake all hours just to pander to their latest attempt.
#12 Time for gaslighting
Don’t you think it’s sad that you think I try to keep you awake?
Why would I do that? I need sleep, too!
You don’t even know what you’re talking about.
These attempts to throw you off their scent of creepiness can and will manifest as gaslighting late at night when all you want is a good night’s sleep and the rest you need.
Who in their right minds thinks this is okay?!
#13 Bedtime ‘confessions’ to shock you
Before you go to sleep, there’s something I want to tell you.
You really need to know.
I can’t keep it from you any longer.
You’ll never guess what…
It all comes pouring out, and you feel as though you have no choice but to listen to them and be there for them. It’s where you find yourself most useful in this dynamic, too.
But it’s all a creepy ploy to keep you awake, and prevent you from getting the sleep you need.
