Narcissists love what you give them as they’re inflicting pain and suffering onto you.
The neediness.
The tears.
The fear.
The begging.
The people-pleasing.
What if it all stopped?
What if, instead you chose to live how you deserve to live? What would that look like, and how would it affect the narcissist?
Well… I promise a complete presentation of unsettling behavior…
…And it won’t be from you.
Wanting to Stir Their Insecurities
Narcissists have insecurities…
What a news flash!
They don’t want you to know, but I’m telling you because it’s good to know.
Stirring said insecurities is the only way you’re going to get a narcissist to feel unsettled.
If you decided today to catch them on the back foot or leave them guessing, you’d want to have several ways up your sleeve to do that, wouldn’t you?
It’s a good job you’re here then!
12 Ways You Can Unsettle Narcissists
1. Never Abandon Your Truth
Your truth is there for a reason; you believe it because it’s important to you. Not only that, but your truth can be based on what you literally said, heard, saw, or felt.
Yes – narcissists can even convince you that you didn’t see what you really saw!
It’s unsettling for a narcissist to be met with the determination of another person. If that happens, you won’t see a person back away from somebody quicker.
Eventually, your truth will prevail, but abandoning it is going to mean that it will take longer.
Stick to what you know to be true.
2. Be So Unbothered That It’s Dangerous
When you show that something bothers you, the narcissist is going to play on that. They may repeat the process just to watch you all over again, or make a joke about it for years to come so you never forget how you felt.
It’s time to unleash your unbothered status!
Being unbothered proves that your mood cannot be altered or changed by somebody else. It also means you aren’t giving them the supply they want and need from you.
I’m not promising it will be easy to not display how bothered you are, and that doesn’t mean you won’t be on the inside.
You’ve got to start somewhere, right?
3. Strength and Power Never Dimming
Don’t dull your light!
I don’t want to sound like a plaque you might find in a department store – but it’s really true.
Behind your light lies a special power and force that keeps you thinking for yourself and able to be strong when things get tough.
Losing that means losing a part of yourself to somebody who will take advantage of that.
Keeping it disarms and unsettles them.
4. Shut Down, Say Nothing
When they expect your words, volume and speeches, give them next to nothing.
Let them feel the eerie silence as you hold back and refuse to give your thoughts the time of day.
Keep them in suspense.
Don’t let them think that you are going to offer any supply.
They don’t deserve it.
5. Live Your Best Life
The best revenge is a life well lived.
When a narcissist wants to get under your skin, they also want to see your life fall down the drain.
They love to watch people circle it right before it gobbles them up – but this doesn’t have to be you!
Live your best life and prove to the narcissist that they can and will not drag you down.
6. Raise Your Vibrations – Don’t Meddle in Conflict
Where conflict is pulling you toward it like a magnet, refuse it.
Raise yourself up so high that you are above conflict. It’s not a part of you, and you don’t want to partake in it.
Gossip is for people with nothing better to do, and conflict only ends one way – so walk away.
Watch the narcissist as they struggle to understand how you can simply turn a blind eye.
7. Become More Independent Than Ever
Narcissists hate you being able to do things for yourself – so the more you do it – the more unsettled they feel.
Why?
Because they want to feel needed! They need a purpose so they can complain about said purpose to everybody else!
If you don’t need them, then you owe them nothing.
Stay away from their emotional debt requests.
8. Let It Roll Off Your Shoulders
Letting their narcissistic behavior roll off your shoulders sounds so easy!
Over time, you will find this comes with more and more ease, and as it does, the narcissist becomes more frustrated that you just don’t let them bother you.
As soon as you start seeing the games as childish and pathetic, you take away a lot of their power. Once you get to that place, it becomes fun almost to watch their tactics fall and fail – just as the narcissist should!
9. Step Away
Distance creates space to surmise. If narcissists aren’t deeply involved in your life, they’re going to forever wonder what your life looks like.
Stepping away for at the very least, giving the bare minimum will switch on that ‘uncertain’ switch.
What do they do now? How will they manipulate you if they don’t even know you?
Narcissists become very unsettled when they aren’t privy to the latest news or gossip. They have nothing to extract, therefore nothing to fuel themselves with.
If you are stepping away, you’re consciously leaving the drama they want to continue.
That’s a really powerful message to send to an uncertain recipient.
10. Don’t Fall For Bullying Tactics – Even if it Hurts
Narcissists, among everything else, are bullies!
They will bully you into believing certain things, or make you do things you don’t want to do. They are so overpowering that you feel lost before you’ve even begun.
When they try to get under your skin and poke meanness your way, think about what it would be like if you were at school. The advice you’d get is to ignore them; they will eventually get bored and stop.
Let them try their luck, but know that you don’t exist to bite their bullying bait.
11.Starve Them Of Your Socials
Oh, now this is a biggy.
Your social media accounts are where you post everything.
What’s going on in your life.
Where you went for dinner.
Your vacation photos.
Happy news.
Sad news.
Memories.
Thoughts.
Opinions.
Likes.
Dislikes.
And for what? For the narcissist to capture every single detail about you and have the upper hand at every single opportunity?
No way!
Keep them off your socials to keep them guessing exactly what you’re up to. Without a clue, they will drive themselves absolutely crazy not knowing.
12. Keep Your News To a Select Few
Don’t tell everybody everything – even the really good news.
You have a trusted and select few, and that’s very noble.
Let’s not get it twisted.
The narcissist will crawl all over your good news, as well as the bad, like a virus without restraint.
They will rupture your happiness and shine a light on the bad stuff just to rub it in.
Mostly – they want to know it all because they feel that’s what they’re entitled to.
Don’t allow it – and watch them squirm!
How To Outsmart The Narcissist?
Outsmarting a narcissist might seem like something you would never be able to do.
Think of all those times that toxic person has made you feel small, or even nothing. The idea of outsmarting them won’t come naturally to you, right?
Wrong!
You can absolutely outsmart a narcissist. They won’t see it coming, they won’t see you coming – and it will be a shock to their narcissistic system!
Finding ways to outsmart a narcissist can be fun, and it will put you right back in control of your life.
So, let’s see a show of hands to see who’s with me?
Narcissists: The Truth Behind the Mask
Narcissists!
You’ve likely encountered them at some point in your life, right? That’s why you’re here!
Narcissists walk into a room and act like they own it, even if they’ve just walked into your kitchen. It’s incredibly frustrating.
Masters at creating a toxic air of confidence and superiority, narcissists hide behind their mask. Behind it all? Insecurity and neediness!
You know it well, I’m certain!
Narcissists can be charming and persuasive when they want to be.
They’re also incredibly convincing at it.
But don’t be fooled.
Their charm is a well-rehearsed act designed to get what they want, whether from you or from others.
They thrive on control and manipulation, and will do what it takes to continue this weird game of human chess they are experts at.
Understanding the core of a narcissist is crucial for all of us – especially you.
Beneath all charm and smiles, they are often fragile. They fear their true selves being exposed – and they do all they can so that doesn’t happen.
This fragility makes them dangerous, but it also makes it possible to outsmart them.
Once you know what exactly is lurking behind the mask, you’ll be much better equipped to deal with their toxic tactics.
They Think They’re So Clever!
Narcissists believe they are the smartest person in the world, and nobody else compares even marginally.
They convince themselves of this, and do their best to convince others too.
They use their quote-on-quote “intelligence” to dominate conversations and situations, which only makes others feel inferior. Is this a familiar story to you?
It is to so many people, sadly.
The narcissist has a deep sense of superiority, which acts as a double-edged sword.
Yes, it fuels their confidence and bravado. But also, it makes them vulnerable to being outsmarted. If you think about it, anybody can outsmart them, and it certainly doesn’t take much at all.
Their arrogance blinds them to their own weaknesses, which can backfire on them!
What does this mean? Well, it means the narcissist can sometimes really underestimate others.
Good news for you though – as this overconfidence is where you can find your edge.
Dealing with a narcissist requires more than just holding your ground; it’s about understanding their playbook and using their own tactics against them. They think they’re so clever, but with a little knowledge and strategy, you can turn the tables.
You? Really? …
Yes! Really!
You’re here because you’ve had enough of the narcissist’s mind games, right?
Outsmarting them is now a healthy option for you, and you should definitely do all you can to do it.
If the narcissist is your friend, boss, family member or lover – the time has come to regain control and peace of mind.
You’re so not alone.
Many people struggle with how to handle narcissists effectively.
The key?
Outsmart them!
Let’s get to the good bit…
How to Outsmart a Narcissist
#1 Be Firm – Set Your Boundaries!
Narcissists are known to thrive on pushing limits, no matter who they belong to. Oh yes, expect boundaries to be constantly tested. They will look for your weakness and then exploit them, until now, that is!
The first step in outsmarting a narcissist is to get your boundaries as firm and clear as possible. This means being completely transparent about behavior you will accept, and what behavior you won’t.
Don’t stop short at setting boundaries, you have to enforce them too. When that narcissist attempts to walk all over them, you have to calmly and consistently push back.
Make your language clear – and assertive. No, they won’t like it, but hey, this isn’t about them anymore, is it? The less emotion you apply, the better. After all, narcissists feed off any kind of reaction.
Composure is key, just like consistency.
#2 “Gray Rock”
The gray rock method is such an empowering tool when dealing with any narcissist.
The idea of gray rock is to make yourself as uninteresting and unresponsive as possible.
You might think that sounds easy but it does take a little practice to get it just right.
Remember, narcissists crave drama and seeing you act ‘overly-emotional.’ By being boring and unengaging, you deny them that very satisfaction they seek.
Bingo!
When they try to provoke you, be bland. Be the human equivalent of vanilla.
Avoid showing anger, frustration, excitement – any of it. Over time, they are strongly likely to lose interest in trying to manipulate you because you’re not giving them the fuel they need.
You’ve become so boring!
No…. I am just doing my best to outsmart your attitude…
#3 Deflection – Master It!
Narcissists love to put you on the spot – it’s their attempt to make you feel uncomfortable.
One way to tackle this is to master what I like to call the art of deflection.
Whenever they try to criticize or undermine you, that’s when you redirect the conversation. Ask them a question that shifts the focus back onto them or onto a neutral topic.
I’ll give you an example.
They criticize your decorating work at home (how predictable, right?)
Now you respond with, “Interesting point. What do you think about the weather lately?”
It sounds crazy, but it really throws them off and totally stops them in their tracks.
#4 Information is Preparation!
Ah yes, narcissists will often use misinformation and lies to manipulate everybody else.
You can outsmart them here by being well-informed and prepared. Do your research, re-check facts, and even have evidence to back it all up.
Many people I know have been known to write down information or revert to old texts for screenshots to prove their points.
This will all reduce the narcissist’s ability to use deception against you.
This is all about concrete information – and who can argue with the facts?
#5 Gather Your Support System
It’s not uncommon for narcissists to isolate their victims to assert themselves and gain more control.
You can maintain a strong network of people you love and trust. Seek support from anybody you know who may understand the situation you’re in, and who can provide advice.
Encouragement is also heavily advised here!
Having that crucial support system will help you stay grounded in your reality. When a narcissist is trying their best to get to you, you have people you can rely on to turn to.
Let’s start unlock that potential!
