If only we could see the lies and how damaging they are ahead of time. Wouldn’t it be so nice to have some warning!
Lies are not only deceitful, they lead the person hearing them to believe every word. Imagine what that feels like for victims of narcissistic abuse?
You’re not enough of this!
You’re too much of that!
Over time – that person completely changes in persona.
Because why?
Because they become programmed to the toxic tongue of the narcissist.
So let’s check out those lies right now.
Wait… Did You Say ‘Lies?’
I know – hold the front page!
Lies are a specialty dish straight from the narcissist’s kitchen!
They know exactly how to cook them, and they know even better how to serve them.
Narcissists will spend a lifetime perfecting lies about you. I mean, they’d have to be good if you’re going to believe them, right?
What good is a lie if it is delivered undercooked, or too flaky to enjoy properly?
Of Course – They Need To Falsify Your Truth
What people tend to forget when they meet a narcissist is that the lies you’re told are nothing but your truth being purposely falsified.
Read it again for me:
When you meet a narcissist, the lies they tell you are nothing but your actual truth being purposely falsified.
To hurt.
To cause drama.
To diminish your character.
To make you feel small.
To belittle you.
To take control of your emotions.
To get a rise out of your reaction to their lies.
To feel better about themselves.
So that you become less than the person you are.
So they can criticize you for becoming so low.
So they can stop your growth and contain you.
Take a moment and let all of that sink in.
12 Lies So Ugly – But Narcissists Program You to Believe Them!
The keyword is lies, here.
People, please. Remember that!
#1 That You Are Ugly/Unattractive
Pah!
You’ve really let yourself go!
You just aren’t what I’d call conventionally attractive at all…
Words hurt, we all know that. Words with intent to hurt, hurt even more.
To be told you’re ugly, or not attractive can take a person back. Over time, those criticisms, once proven to work, will keep coming. You see that’s what they do.
Narcissist will throw toxicity your way and determine where or not to use it again in the future, based on your response to their toxicity.
Being told you’re ugly is a real low blow – but above all else – it’s not true!
Who defines beauty, anyway?!
#2 Nobody Could Possibly Want You
Look at you. You’ve turned into a needy, clingy, pathetic person.
Nobody else is going to want you, so you’re better off staying with me.
My God. Again with the ridiculously low attempts at making somebody feel like trash.
Narcissists tell this ugly lie because you know what it does? It makes you believe them enough to only rely on their opinion.
Then what?
Yep! The control belongs to them!
#3 That You’re Not Clever
Says who?!
Being told you aren’t clever is so vague, right? What they really want to say is that you are too clever for them, too kind and too caring.
To proverbially pee all over your goodness, you’re going to be lied too, and this one is a humdinger!
#4 They Love You
Love isn’t making you cry yourself to sleep.
Love isn’t isolating you, or making you feel like you’re not clever/pretty/bold/creative/courageous enough.
Love is respect, honesty, and conscious commitment to somebody.
What you’re learning from the narcissist is how to go along with their warped opinion of you. They are teaching you that what they say is true, and as time goes on, you believe every word.
They don’t love you. None of this is love. Which should help you move on all that much easier.
#5 That You’re Not Good Enough For That Job
Let me correct you here.
You’re good enough for that job, they just don’t want you to have it. Having it means you will be successful, perhaps even more so, than they are.
No. That won’t fly in the narcissist’s world.
Instead of believing them, try to see this form of programming as putting a lid on your potential and your ambition.
Never let anybody shrink you to fit a mold you weren’t destined to fit.
#6 Your Hobbies Suck
Oh yeah, sure they do. Anything that brings you joy is going to be shredded right out of you, and why shouldn’t it?
According to the narcissist, your hobby is silly and a waste of time and money. So you stop, and ultimately agree with them when they show you the rising cost of living on paper.
Let it be known that your hobby is fine – and all they’re doing is taking away one more thing that makes you happy.
#7 You Have No Friends
You have plenty of friends. You know it, and the narcissist knows it.
They will gaslight you into believing you have nobody – because then you’ll be automatically programmed to depend on them.
If somebody tells you that you’re either too good, or not good enough, for friends, eventually they will disappear.
#8 You Can’t Drive
If you have your driver’s license, it’s because a professional gave it to you. So who is the narcissist to come and take it away?
In telling you that you can’t drive, you won’t drive eventually. You’ll stop bothering, because it’s easier to not do something at all than be criticized for it.
Then what?
You won’t go anywhere, and your independence will slip away.
#9 You Won’t Amount To Anything
They see your potential, so will try to delete it by telling you you’re the opposite of what you actually are.
The only way you won’t amount to anything is if you believe the narcissist.
Happy to put you down, the narcissist will drag you to a place of darkness.
Only your light will see you out of it.
#10 You’re a Lousy Lover
Anything to drag you away from trying to be intimate, eh?
If a narcissist can get under your skin by telling you that you’re a lousy lover, then not only will you stop trying to get close to them, you’ll also lack the courage to pursue relationships in the future.
#11 You’re Simple or Boring
Being told that you’re boring is how the narcissist takes your personality with both hands, and crushes it. Over time, what they want is to get you to a place where you don’t do anything, or go anywhere.
If you fit that box, they will know the likelihood of you leaving is (almost) zero.
#12 You’re The Narcissist
The best one of all!
Programming you to think you’re the problem will have you constantly trying to make it up to them. Trying to improve yourself, apologize, or do better.
In other words, if the attention is on you,that means the narcissist is getting away with everything!
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