If only we could see the lies and how damaging they are ahead of time. Wouldn’t it be so nice to have some warning!

Lies are not only deceitful, they lead the person hearing them to believe every word. Imagine what that feels like for victims of narcissistic abuse?

You’re not enough of this!

You’re too much of that!

Over time – that person completely changes in persona.

Because why?

Because they become programmed to the toxic tongue of the narcissist.

So let’s check out those lies right now.

Wait… Did You Say ‘Lies?’

I know – hold the front page!

Lies are a specialty dish straight from the narcissist’s kitchen!

They know exactly how to cook them, and they know even better how to serve them.

Narcissists will spend a lifetime perfecting lies about you. I mean, they’d have to be good if you’re going to believe them, right?

What good is a lie if it is delivered undercooked, or too flaky to enjoy properly?

Of Course – They Need To Falsify Your Truth

What people tend to forget when they meet a narcissist is that the lies you’re told are nothing but your truth being purposely falsified.

Read it again for me:

When you meet a narcissist, the lies they tell you are nothing but your actual truth being purposely falsified. 

To hurt.

To cause drama.

To diminish your character.

To make you feel small.

To belittle you.

To take control of your emotions.

To get a rise out of your reaction to their lies.

To feel better about themselves. 

So that you become less than the person you are.

So they can criticize you for becoming so low.

So they can stop your growth and contain you.

Take a moment and let all of that sink in. 

12 Lies So Ugly – But Narcissists Program You to Believe Them!

The keyword is lies, here.

People, please. Remember that!

#1 That You Are Ugly/Unattractive

Pah! 

You’ve really let yourself go!

You just aren’t what I’d call conventionally attractive at all…

Words hurt, we all know that. Words with intent to hurt, hurt even more. 

To be told you’re ugly, or not attractive can take a person back. Over time, those criticisms, once proven to work, will keep coming. You see that’s what they do. 

Narcissist will throw toxicity your way and determine where or not to use it again in the future, based on your response to their toxicity. 

Being told you’re ugly is a real low blow – but above all else – it’s not true!

Who defines beauty, anyway?!

#2 Nobody Could Possibly Want You

Look at you. You’ve turned into a needy, clingy, pathetic person.

Nobody else is going to want you, so you’re better off staying with me.

My God. Again with the ridiculously low attempts at making somebody feel like trash. 

Narcissists tell this ugly lie because you know what it does? It makes you believe them enough to only rely on their opinion. 

Then what? 

Yep! The control belongs to them!

#3 That You’re Not Clever

Says who?! 

Being told you aren’t clever is so vague, right? What they really want to say is that you are too clever for them, too kind and too caring. 

To proverbially pee all over your goodness, you’re going to be lied too, and this one is a humdinger!

#4 They Love You

Love isn’t making you cry yourself to sleep.

Love isn’t isolating you, or making you feel like you’re not clever/pretty/bold/creative/courageous enough. 

Love is respect, honesty, and conscious commitment to somebody. 

What you’re learning from the narcissist is how to go along with their warped opinion of you. They are teaching you that what they say is true, and as time goes on, you believe every word.

They don’t love you. None of this is love. Which should help you move on all that much easier.

#5 That You’re Not Good Enough For That Job

Let me correct you here.

You’re good enough for that job, they just don’t want you to have it. Having it means you will be successful, perhaps even more so, than they are. 

No. That won’t fly in the narcissist’s world.

Instead of believing them, try to see this form of programming as putting a lid on your potential and your ambition. 

Never let anybody shrink you to fit a mold you weren’t destined to fit. 

#6 Your Hobbies Suck

Oh yeah, sure they do. Anything that brings you joy is going to be shredded right out of you, and why shouldn’t it?

According to the narcissist, your hobby is silly and a waste of time and money. So you stop, and ultimately agree with them when they show you the rising cost of living on paper. 

Let it be known that your hobby is fine – and all they’re doing is taking away one more thing that makes you happy. 

#7 You Have No Friends

You have plenty of friends. You know it, and the narcissist knows it.

They will gaslight you into believing you have nobody – because then you’ll be automatically programmed to depend on them.

If somebody tells you that you’re either too good, or not good enough, for friends, eventually they will disappear. 

#8 You Can’t Drive

If you have your driver’s license, it’s because a professional gave it to you. So who is the narcissist to come and take it away?

In telling you that you can’t drive, you won’t drive eventually. You’ll stop bothering, because it’s easier to not do something at all than be criticized for it. 

Then what?

You won’t go anywhere, and your independence will slip away. 

#9 You Won’t Amount To Anything

They see your potential, so will try to delete it by telling you you’re the opposite of what you actually are.

The only way you won’t amount to anything is if you believe the narcissist. 

Happy to put you down, the narcissist will drag you to a place of darkness.

Only your light will see you out of it.

#10 You’re a Lousy Lover

Anything to drag you away from trying to be intimate, eh?

If a narcissist can get under your skin by telling you that you’re a lousy lover, then not only will you stop trying to get close to them, you’ll also lack the courage to pursue relationships in the future. 

#11 You’re Simple or Boring

Being told that you’re boring is how the narcissist takes your personality with both hands, and crushes it.

Over time, what they want is to get you to a place where you don’t do anything, or go anywhere.

If you fit that box, they will know the likelihood of you leaving is (almost) zero.

#12 You’re The Narcissist

The best one of all!

Programming you to think you’re the problem will have you constantly trying to make it up to them. Trying to improve yourself, apologize, or do better.

In other words, if the attention is on you,that means the narcissist is getting away with everything!

What Do Narcissists Fear the Most?

The 20 Biggest Fears Of Narcissists

They don’t look like they fear anything, do they?

Narcissists really do walk around acting as if they are perfect. If you were to ask them what they’re scared of, they’d laugh in your face and tell you to move out of their way.

Well, I’m here to tell you the truth.

Narcissists are petrified of more than you have ever known…

…Until now.

Here, I unlock the 20 biggest fears of narcissists, so you don’t need to embarrass them by asking them what they’re scared of ever again.

When The Narcissist Can’t Sleep At Night

Tick, tock, tick, tock,

3am?!

What’s keeping the narcissist up at night?

It’s likely to be thinking about their fears, as believe it or not, they cross their minds from time to time. 

Those fears remain buried under the guise of the charmer – the person everybody sees when they initially speak to the narcissist. 

Well, I’ve got my shovel, and I am about to dig each fear up.

#1 It’s Expose Time! 

Imagine the look of terror on the narcissist’s face when you expose them. It’ll be brief, sure. If you blink, you miss it.

Because soon enough – that fear will convert into rage – an emotion you’re probably much more familiar with when you think about the narcissist in your life. 

Before that rage, that fear will be evident. The idea of you telling everybody the true character of the narcissist fills them with an impalpable dread. 

It all starts to crumble.

They’ve nowhere to hide, and they cannot fool everybody anymore. At least some people will believe you, and that’s all you’d need to expose them fully. 

So yes – it keeps the narcissist up at night to think you could do such a thing, knowing as soon you do so, their power diminishes. 

#2 Control: Officially Lost

Get ready for the narcissist’s foundation to shake, rattle and roll.

Losing control is last on their list of ideals, but it’s a stark possibility when the victim turns to victor.

Seeing through the narcissism to a person who, underneath it all, is just a small-minded, afraid nobody, makes them more worried than you could imagine. 

If that control goes – what do they have?!

#3 The Truth is Feared

What is the truth?

We all know, don’t we?

We’re dealing with a person, or several people if you’re really unlucky, who aren’t who they say they are.

There is a truth behind the lies, and behind that is the ongoing fear from the narcissist that their lies will be exposed. 

Believe me when I say that the narcissist will do what it takes to silence their victims, but that doesn’t mean the truth will never prevail.

#4 The Ordinary 

Ordinary means what to you? For me, it’s just an average day, with nothing standing out. No one big moment.

Narcissists hate not standing out. They always want to be the center of attention, and if they’re seen as normal, or ordinary, that will be the biggest threat – and fear – to their grandiose personality. 

#5 Being Alone

Imagine having nobody to manipulate. When they need to suck the life out of another – there’s not a soul available. 

Narcissists need people around not just to do this with, but also, those people are needed to influence. 

The absence of others is the absence of validation and supply, and without a push from others for attention, the narcissist won’t fully know how to function.

They fear being alone for that very reason.

#6 Bye Bye, Attention

Invisibility is the true enemy of the narcissist. They need to be the honey, while the bees buzz around them constantly.

Without that noise, there is silence.

And in silence, there will be zero attention.

#7 Others… Happy… Really?

No single soul on the planet has the right to be happy (according to the narcissist). If you’re so happy, what could you possibly be so happy about? 

How dare you!

Your smile is enough to have it wiped right off your face, and the narcissist is going to love doing so.

Passing judgment. Criticizing you. Bringing you down. Triggering you. Disappointing you. Giving you the silent treatment and yelling at you. Whatever it takes. Why? 

Simple! They fear that your happiness will create this brand new version of you that will tolerate the narcissist just that little bit less. 

#8 How Victims Self-Love

Listen, if you’re loving yourself, then you are loving the narcissist less. It’s great for you – and that’s exactly why it isn’t good for them. 

The fear that comes from you loving yourself is that you will decide you’re too good for them – and leave. 

#9 Financial Independence

You’ve got your money sorted, you earn a large buck or two, and there’s nothing they can do about it.

Seeing you take care of your finances so well, there’s little to no chance of them taking it all away from you – leaving you dependent on them. 

Big fear!

#10 “So What?”

Ah, so you’re indifferent, are you?

That’s a big ache in the gut for the narcissist, who thrives on your reactions. If you don’t have any ones to give, consider yourself immune to the narcissist…

…New narcissist fear unlocked!

#11 Brave Enough To Be Accountable

Accountability is a huge fear of the narcissist, who usually ensures that what they’re doing will never be found out.

They don’t want to own up to any wrongdoing – so you can safely tick this as a huge fear of theirs. 

#12 Losing to Legality

If you want to really send shivers down the narcissist’s spine – threaten them with legal action.

It’s the epitome of doing wrong for all to see as well – which only adds to their nightmare!

#13 New Victims: Gone

Just when they thought they had a good victim in you – you up and leave.

Their plans turn to dust, and they become vulnerable all over again, with no supply!

#14 Strong? Good!

Your strength kills narcissists. It acts as such a strong repellent that you would be hard pushed to see any narcissist stick around.

They’re scared of you! What narcissist wants to admit that they’re scared of somebody?!

#15 Being Alone

You can forgive babies for not wanting to be alone – but grown adults? This isn’t about normal loneliness that can really affect people – this is the fear of having no life to suck out of anybody. 

#16 Mirror Mirror On The Wall

Don’t look into it if you’re a narcissist, because we all know – including you – that you are not the fairest of them all!

The biggest fear of a narcissist is doing so, and seeing that ugliness stare back at them. 

#17 “No Thanks, Bye”

Rejection.

Ouch.

A narcissist experienced enough of this as a child, and it is a huge trigger for them; a reminder that they aren’t good enough for somebody. 

#18 Criticism

What do you mean they aren’t perfect?

You cannot tell a narcissist that they have faults! That’s their job to make you feel shitty – not the other way around!

#19 Partners In The Know

Knowing who the narcissist really is means the power shifts from them, to you. 

What does that mean for you? Well, you’re likely to be a person who wants to do bad with their power, but it does mean you no longer get played by them.

They fear this – they fear you having an education in narcissism. You have the power to expose and all them out.

A powerless narcissist is not a happy narcissist. 

#20 Getting Over: Moving On

If you’ve gotten over a narcissist and moved on – you’ve done what they thought you’d never do.

Always expecting you to be around to use and abuse, you’ve finally made your way out of it.

While that’s a moment for real pride, it’s a moment of fear for them.

What do they do now?