It’s 2am. You’re (hopefully) asleep. You’re (hopefully) dreaming about that dream person – who is kind and thoughtful and emotionally mature.

While you’re busy in the land of nod, your phone gets a text from the person in your life who is the opposite of kind and thoughtful and emotionally mature.

When you wake – you discover exactly what it is they had to tell you at 2am.

And it’s going to be one of these 12 things.

2am? The Narcissist Hour!

Narcissists never sleep. I mean it. They really don’t. They’re somehow awake all hours of the day and night, probably due to the paranoia that fills up constantly inside of them. 

You’re blissfully unaware of course, because you have a good sleeping pattern.

The narcissist loves to send you messages at 2am and you might think, “Wow, they’re thinking of me in the middle of the night, I must be so special.”

You’re not (not to them, anyway).

Instead, the narcissist is texting you at 2am to manipulate you into thinking that they care.

In fact – the real reason is because they simply want them to be the first thing you think about when you wake, roll over, and check your phone. 

So, what are those 12 things they will text you in the dark of the night?

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#1 “I Miss You”

What will happen when you read these three words is a feeling of nostalgia will wash over you.

Your mind will immediately revert to the few good times you had together, or the times they told you they couldn’t imagine living without you. 

It will create emotions of wistful yearning, and you of course, wil feel obliged to reply. You feel wanted, loved and thought of. 

It’s extremely unlikely – I’d say almost impossible – for a narcissist to miss you the way you want them to miss you. 

This is about missing your supply, not you. 

#2 “Remember When…”

Ah, yes. The familiar trip down memory lane. The narcissist wants to hold your hand and walk with you through all the fun times you shared, and pretend they all mean something to them. 

The reality is a different story, but they know how emotional you are and how much you will latch onto this as a sign they still love you.

It’s not that at all. They want to test the waters to see if you will grab the bait.

Will you?

I hope not.

It’s another luring pattern only designed to control you. 

#3 “I Saw This Person and Thought of You…”

Did they though?

Did they just want a useless and tenuous segway to text you in the middle of the night to make you feel like you’re suddenly somebody they care about?

You have to see through comments like this. If you think it’s because they’re feeling incredibly regretful that they let you go, you’ve really got another thing coming. 

I’m not here to put you down and make you feel worthless – that was the narcissist’s sleight of hand.

But I am here to be realistic. And the things you hear them say when you’re apart come from the same pocket of games they played with you when the two of you were together. 

Let them see and be reminded of whatever or whoever they want. It’s not your job to listen to be wowed by any of it any more. 

#4 “This Song Came On…”

Songs are the perfect link to any memory, and some we may not want to be reminded of. 

Narcissists know this. They know you, and how likely you are to sink back into a moment of nostalgia when you’re reminded of that first dance, or the sweet drive home in the early days.

And you know, these songs all seem more powerful at 2am, don’t they?

#5 “Are You Awake?”

Well, are you? If you aren’t, you’re probably going to be the next night when you anticipate another text. 

It’s a real indication that a narcissist wants you day and night, no matter the time or hour. You need your sleep, and they need to stay away. 

Try not to give your sleeping time away to anybody, especially your ex. 

#6 “I Wish I Could Go Back and Make it All Better”

This gets to me, and it should get to you, too. 

The narcissist had all this time to make it good, and to leave a lasting positive impression upon you.

Did they? 

No, they didn’t. 

Instead, they used all the time they had with you to drag you down, make you feel worthless, and to leave your soul and joy lying in tatters all over the floor.

So why now, when all the damage is done, do they want to crawl back and make it all better?

Don’t believe they can, because they absolutely cannot. 

#7 “I Still Love You”

What is love, to you, narcissist?

I’d hazard a guess what they mean in translation is:

I’m bored and I miss the way you used to inflate my ego too easily.

That isn’t love, but it’s what you think love is now. 

Anybody who loves you would go out of their way not to hurt you while they have the chance. 

#8 “No, I’m Not Drunk”

Nothing like a nice disclaimer to get you started, is there?

It’s a really covert way of making you believe that they’re texting because they one hundred percent want to, rather than allowing the booze to do the talking. 

The idea that they’re doing it sober is designed to prove to you how serious they are about making amends, or reconnecting. 

I would advise you, beer or not, to leave them alone.

#9 “Do You Think of Me?”

You know, even if you do think of them, the last thing you want to do is let them know.

Don’t let them know that you aren’t either.

Just ignore this message, because it’s the most obvious fishing hook I can show you. 

Don’t be baited. 

#10 “Will You Meet Me?”

No!

I don’t care what they try to lure you in with.

If they have that t-shirt that’s yours – so what.

If they ‘just want five minutes’ – so what.

Don’t do it, because again, the 2am text vibe is going to be strong, and the last thing you want to do is allude to the gravitas of the dead of the night. 

#11 “I’m Sorry”

Fine, be whatever you think sorry is or means. Does that mean you have to offer your forgiveness? I feel that’s the first thing they’re looking for, before the next question comes…

…How can I make it up to you?

They can’t, and you shouldn’t give them ideas. 

#12 “I’ve Learned From My Mistakes”

Congratulations, that means nothing to you because the damage is done.

You cannot fix something that totally shattered. Your heart took a rip, and I know you know that the right thing to do is take some time to heal, rather than go through all that drama and misery again.

How Do Narcissists Manipulate Their Partners?

Narcissists are happiest when they have a partner they can twist, manipulate and control.

They love to be part of something where everybody else is smaller and less powerful than they are. Their lives have meaning, just as they feel they should daily.

There are specific ways a narcissist will manipulate their partners, though. As troubling as it may sound, these are textbook ways – and that’s where you need to pay close attention.

If this sounds like your situation, that’s because it likely is.

“My Reality is Fact!”

The reality is that you’re being manipulated by someone who has had much practice. They’ve been exactly where they are now, except with different victims. 

“You’re Nothing!”

Being told how worthless you are does a few things.

For the narcissist, it brings them to a new level of control and manipulation. If you hear something enough times, you will start to believe it. 

You believe it even more when you’re treated that way alongside those words. 

It’s all a tactic, created to destroy your hopes and dreams, your identity, and how you carry yourself each day. 

Where you once stood tall, you now slouch and try to be invisible.

That’s exactly how the narcissist wants you. 

“It’s Your Fault, Not Mine!”

Narcissists project to get whatever they’ve done wrong out of the light. They don’t want their faults or inappropriate actions to be spotted, and so they throw you out there instead.

So everybody looks at you. The narcissist looks at you as if they feel let down by you. 

And you feel that shame, because you take it on. And you take it on because they’ve pushed it so far into you that you have no choice. 

This design is set up to get them off the hook.

Thank God you are there for them to treat you this way – without you – they just might look like the bad guy.

Phew for them!

“…”

That’s right, the good old silent treatment. The way narcissists do this is by completely shutting down and ignoring you. 

If you’ve experienced it, I don’t need to tell you how uncomfortable it is. It induces panic, fear and worry, and like all things narcissists do, it is unnecessary. 

The silent treatment acts to give you nothing at all, so it’s easy for the narcissist to say, “Well, I didn’t say anything horrible. I wasn’t mean,” Then make excuses for them being quiet. 

When you’ve been given the silent treatment, you are left to your own insecure devices.

What did I do wrong?

How can I fix this?

What can I do to make them happy?

I must be a terrible person.

What’s going to happen next?

Do you need this?

No.

Yet they make it so prevalent in your world. 

It isn’t fair. 

“I Must Cause Fallout”

 What is life without a little drama? Actually, it’s quite nice. But then again, I’m speaking as an emotionally healthy person, and not a narcissist. 

The idea that drama is of such greedy interest to the narcissist is one that never fails to shock me. Why would anybody want to be in the middle of so much negativity?

Narcissists do. As people and emotions explode around them, they can act and do what they like and not be seen to be doing anything wrong at all.

Be careful here – narcissists want to pull strings to see a certain dynamic. 

If you’re a part of that, you will suffer. 

“Poor Me…”

The victim mentality of a narcissist can stop the most believing people in their tracks.

It’s all been too much for me.

I try my best.

I don’t know what I do wrong to upset people. 

I wish people would understand me.

These phrases tug at the heartstrings of those who want to give them the benefit of the doubt, and sadly – yes – it works. 

Narcissists always want to look as though they’re being wronged.

This injects:

• Guilt
• Shame
• Self-blame
• Self-loathing
• Insecurity
• Worry
• Anxiety
• Depression

In their partners, and they know this. 

They just don’t care.  

“Bringing You Back, Get Ready!”

Let’s take you back to a time where we were so in love, and everything was perfect!

We are so great, you and me. It was us against the world!

Think about all that passion we had. You’re never going to be able to find that anywhere else.

Oh, the manipulation game is strong with these kinds of phrases. They love getting you at your most vulnerable, reflecting on the distorted nostalgia between you.

It’s enough to make you paint over all the cracks in between, isn’t it? And there were a lot of those. 

What’s manipulative about this is the narcissist’s attempt to invite you to ignore their abuse, and only focus on the good (which was likely to have felt magical!) 

Don’t get sucked into this black hole.

“I Will Tell Everybody!”

Uh-oh. What’s that supposed to mean?

I think you and I both know this is not going to end well with you,

Narcissists will tell whoever listens what a horrible person you are and how you wronged them. They may stretch as far as saying that you are the cheater, you hurt them, you spread lies about them and you’re the manipulative one. 

It’s frustrating for victims, but beyond that, it’s absolutely destructive. 

Suddenly, your reputation is in tatters. It’s all based on the false word of the narcissist, who, by the way, is likely loving seeing your house of bricks fall down while their house of cards remains. 

“Nice, But Not!”

You go out, they act like the perfect partner.

You get home, and they ignore you.

You did this wrong, you did that wrong, you didn’t pay them enough attention, you flirted with that person.

Whatever it is, the charm will switch off. The mask will inevitably slip.

This is where the narcissist has learned not just to manipulate you but also to manipulate everybody else, too. They all think, “What a nice person. They’re such a good couple.”

Also the best one, 

“You’re so lucky to have them as your partner!”

Oh boy, if only they knew the truth, right? 

The truth is, you aren’t lucky. The narcissist is just very clever. They know buttons to press, when to press them, who to press them with, and they are always ready for it. 

You on the other hand then find it even more difficult to convince people of the truth.

This is the sole reason why narcissists manipulate – to make you look like the crazy one eventually, and for them to be the victim.