You’ve got a big event coming up, and it’s been building for weeks, maybe even months.
Right before the event, the narcissist in your life decides now is a perfect time to cause drama. They yell, they sulk, they accuse, they criticize, all to get you to feel a certain way.
This manipulative approach is due to 12 stupid reasons, and here they are for you to learn today.
Which ones do you have experience with?
#1 They don’t want to go
It’s too easy to just spit it out, isn’t it? Narcissists don’t want to go to this big event that’s been planned for a lifetime.
Instead of being a grown adult and speaking up about it, they will cause untold drama in an attempt to thwart the entire day.
There could be a thousand reasons why they don’t want to go, but ultimately if they don’t want to be there, they will try their hardest to make the whole thing fall through – at least for the both of you.
#2 They don’t want you to go
And now comes the really interesting part – you going to this large event is an issue that they are too proud to admit.
If they did, they’re aware of how jealous and controlling they will sound, so they would sooner cause trouble and make the drama the sticking point, rather than whatever childish insecurity they’re harboring.
So why wouldn’t they want you to go? Is an ex going to be there? Might you get a promotion? Are you speaking at an event? They want to sabotage whatever chance you may have to enjoy yourself.
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#3 To prove they can get under your skin
As if you needed reminding, right?
Narcissists are so good at getting under your skin, this is another way of doing that.
Picking a fight, telling you that what you’re wearing doesn’t suit you, dragging up an argument from the past because they know it will trigger you.
Maybe they just know the drama will crawl under your skin and bother you so much that you will pull out of the event.
#4 To prevent you from looking forward to anything
Eventually, these kinds of dramas will become more and more frequent before events, and you will learn as a victim of narcissistic abuse to not look forward to anything.
It won’t present obviously, you will simply not want to do anything or go anywhere because you will associate that with drama, stress, tears or pain.
Well, this is where it stems from. Narcissists don’t want you to be happy, so they will do all they can to ruin it.
#5 To trigger you into believing going is a bad idea
Are you sure you want to go?
Tracey will be there, and you always get stressed around her.
I don’t know why you constantly do it to yourself.
It’ll be late and you will end up missing your yoga session in the morning.
Trust me, there will be trouble..
Feeding your mind with reasons why you shouldn’t go will eventually go some way to convince your mind that it is really a bad idea.
So you will shrug and agree, and change back into your jammies.
#6 To get the attention back on them
Whatever you’re about to do, you can bet the narcissist is livid that it’s getting more of your attention than they are.
For weeks you’ve probably been talking about this event.
You got your hair done, you got a special outfit, you have the excited feeling in the pit of your stomach. You love going out and celebrating!
And I’m going to go there … sometimes the event doesn’t have to be a good one. Sometimes it can be a funeral.
Can you believe a narcissist would have a problem with lack of attention when somebody dies, too?
#7 To ruin opportunities for you to be happy
If the event has been planned for a long time and you’re counting on it as a happy, unforgettable moment, the narcissist will consider their drama to be a direct attack on that joy.
And you know what? It’s more common than you think. Everytime there is an opportunity for you to be happy, the narcissist gladly rips it away from you, and that’s how you learn to soak in misery.
#8 So you cancel
If there is enough drama, the narcissist will step back in silence at the point where you snap and say they are cancelling their spot at the event.
This is classic narcissistic behavior; building you up to blow and then acting so surprised when you turn the tables and refuse to attend the event.
Well, you’re the one who doesn’t want to go.
Never mind what led you to not wanting to go. Maybe we should talk about that more?
#9 To control where you go
Well, seeing as they can’t turn around and outright tell you where to go and where not to go, narcissists will lead you into a situation where you decide for yourself.
This goes beyond you simply saying you won’t attend, but it looks at the why.
The reason is because the narcissist feels so superior to you that they get to control what you do, who you see, where you go.
And by falling for it and taking the bait, you give them exactly what they want.
#10 To keep you walking on eggshells
You just never know when the conflict will hit the house, right? That’s not by mistake, by the way.
That is solely what narcissists want. If you are constantly looking over your shoulder, wondering what their next problem will be, then that drama will eventually come.
And it will always be before big events. Exactly when? Well, that’s down to the narcissist, who really doesn’t care how anxious that makes you.
#11 They hate who will be at the big event
An interesting one, but still important nonetheless. If you’re headed to an event where there will be people in their droves, you can bet your bottom dollar that somebody there is hated by the narcissist.
The narcissist, keen to avoid them through fear of being exposed or upstaged, will do everything in their warped power to stop you from attending.
If that means creating a dramatic display, then that’s what they’ll do.
#12 They know it will disappoint you – and they love to see that on your face
When you are excited, the one thing that will wipe this from not just your face, but your mind, too, is to be let down by them.
And because they know how to cut your happiness up like a knife, they will do it no problem.
The look on your face as you place your favorite shoes on and they barge into the room yelling about something irrelevant is what they’ve waited for, for so long.
They want to break you down, and wear any desire to be normal and go out from you.
All the while they get to do exactly that, they’re living their best life.
