If you think you can live alongside a narcissist while being free from what they are capable of doing to you, you’re wrong. Not only are you wrong, let’s be brutal…
…You’re naive.
They damage everybody they encounter, and you are no exemption. So what’s the deal, and what are these ridiculous things?
Surely there must be some way of evading them…
Not a chance! But at least I’m giving you a heads up.
#1 Constantly interrupt
I was just-
I think we could-
I feel really-
It’s like I always-
Do you think-
What do you-
If you can ever finish a sentence, it’d be a miracle. And they know just how to do it, don’t they?
I recall once sitting down with people for dinner, and one ticked all the boxes of a narcissist.
As I was asked about a recent accomplishment, she picked up the salad tongs and they pinged across the table and she laughed out loud – as did everybody else (except me).
She then proceeded to talk about how clumsy she is, relaying a story from her past.
So my conversation went out the window.
This is a classic example of a narcissist feeling that the attention isn’t on them, and wanting it back.
It’s a reclamation of power literally in front of people, but done in a way nobody would suspect (unless you know narcissists).
#2 Pretend to forget important things about you
What worse way to act like you don’t matter than by forgetting the important things about you.
Your birthday, or when you were due to meet. What foods you like, your allergies, your pet peeves; none of it is of a slight interest to them.
I think by now, we can all guess why, can’t we? Why should they recall such information when they’re too busy thinking about how to remain relevant?
Narcissists live in their own world 99.9% of the time, and there’s no room to remember the ‘small’ stuff, even if it isn’t small to you.
I left out one tiny detail – they actually do remember. They pretend not to so you feel small and insignificant.
Consciously remembering the important things then pretending to forget them means they get to see your sad, disappointed face.
How sick is that?!
#3 Every story you tell, they one-up
Oh, you got a new car? They got a new house.
You went to a spa weekend an hour up the road from your place? They went to Bali for 11 days.
You got a new promotion? They made partner in their firm.
It’s tiring, and yet narcissists know how to see the spotlight beginning to shift to you before pulling it back to them.
Every single time they pull these tricks to remind you who’s really in charge, and they get such a kick out of it.
I find it totally ridiculous that they feel the need to do that. To me, it screams of insecurity, but yet here they are anyway, proving to the world that they can’t give another person a moment to shine.
#4 Guilt-trip you over everything
Why would anybody want to make somebody feel bad on purpose, just to see them react?
It absolutely baffles me that this is a thing done and made to provoke a negative reaction, especially if they claim to care about you.
How many times have you felt bad because of something a narcissist said?
How many times do you go to these fitness classes? Is there someone there you’re crushing on?
I hate it that you don’t choose to spend that time with me.
Why do you not hug me in the mornings before we get up any more? Don’t you love me?
Every. little. Thing.
#5 Act helpful and kind to others but not you
Narcissists genuinely prefer to be nice to strangers than you. Keen to impress and make the perfect first impression, they will put on a show for anybody who is watching, and if that means you get to see a side of them that you know is fake, then so be it!
You know the truth, but watching them like this is also a form of gaslighting as you question the reality of what you know they’re like.
Don’t. It’s all an act.
#6 Apologize without meaning it
Sorry is a word narcissists love to use, but never express. You can say you’re sorry, or you can be sorry, and to me they are two very different things.
It’s easy to speak up, right? Make sure that they can say, “I said sorry, what more do you want?”
We want you to express it by being kind and not doing it again!
You’re asking for the impossible here.
#7 They call you a narcissist when you call them out
Why would you be the narcissist? It’s impossible to believe that you could be, but hey, you’re used to believing whatever the narcissist says.
It’s no different when they project their own toxicity onto you, like it’s all your fault.
This is where I tell you how ridiculous they are, and to never believe them. It’s all designed to fool you.
You’re not the problem.
#8 Demand trust while hiding everything
Why do the double standards have to be so obvious?! To me, they really are in this instance. They can be so demanding, wanting you to be loyal and be their side through thick and thin.
In return, they offer nothing but more stress and anxiety. As always, this kind of attitude has all the makings of a true narcissist, and one you’d be sensible to avoid.
Let’s hope you learn to.
#9 Mock your emotions
You can cry when you need to, laugh when you want to, feel up or down when the mood takes you there, and you shouldn’t be mocked for it.
The only reason the narcissist mocks you is because they aren’t as open or honest about their emotions. They wish they could be, so they try to break you instead.
What a sad world we live in, eh?
#10 Mock your hobbies
Your hobbies are for you to enjoy. They don’t have anything to do with the narcissist, as long as you’re not hurting anybody, you should be free to explore what interests you.
Narcissists love to rip that from people and tell them how silly they are, or even how bad they are at the hobby.
Don’t think about it, just do the hobby and leave them to say what they like. You don’t have to believe it.
#11 Spy on you
I find it creepy that narcissists spy, but they deem it a right to know what’s going on at all times.
They need t o know where you are, what you’re doing, and who you’re doing it with. If you try to ask for the same in return, they will tell you that you’re jealous or insecure, or even worse, obsessed with them.
It’s a strange part of the narcissist’s character, but then again, much else also is.
#12 Twist your words
When you say one thing, and they’re looking for a different kind of narrative, they will twist your words to suit them.
The problem is you are fighting for your life trying to get your original point across, while they just keep turning it around to make you look like the terrible person that you aren’t.
It’s pathetic and childish to do this to somebody who has nothing but a good heart, but hey, we’re dealing with narcissists here, remember?
