The scapegoat is always framed to be a bad person in the narcissist’s eyes. If you’re not careful, you’ll believe that.
The key in being labelled the scapegoat is to really learn what that means under the surface.
Narcissists are infamous for telling lies, so treating you like you’re a troublemaker is going to come very easily for them.
But here’s where it gets interesting.
You’re not a troublemaker. You became the scapegoat for reasons they secretly cannot stand about you. Let’s get into those 12 reasons why you became the scapegoat in the narcissistic family.
#1 Your strength
Strength is seen as one of the first major problems in the eye of a narcissist.
Strong people are intimidating to them, but let’s not for one second believe they will ever admit that. What you’ve got to understand is just how much your strength irks them.
This is a characteristic that you just won’t see in a narcissist, not really. Sure, they can pretend, but that;’s all they ever do, isn’t it?
Pretending to be something that you fundamentally are with no issues is a huge reason why they lay you on the chopping board to be the scapegoat in any family dynamic.
#2 Your sensitivity
Sensitivity to me is just another type of strength. It means you feel things, and are able to connect with that on a level that yes, can sometimes exhaust you.
On the whole though, sensitivity is a superpower because you can connect with people through it, and even help them if need be.
For the narcissist – who has to work extra hard to pretend to care about people – your sensitivity is a threat directly to them.
They want what you naturally have, and they will never be able to possess it.
#3 You stand up for what’s right
From the moment you were able to know what it means to do so, standing up for what you believe in became who you are at your core.
You see or hear something that isn’t right, and you do all you can to raise your voice and let people know how unjust it is.
And you make no apologies for doing so. You love to be able to help where you can and stand for what you truly believe in. But let’s get one thing clear…
…This isn’t going to get you liked by the narcissist; the very person who actually hates confrontation.
There you are, living the life you love to live. It’s the price to pay for who you are, but who you are is not a faulty person, remember that!
#4 You hate injustice
Injustice sends shivers down your spine, and that’s probably due to all the injustice you see as a person with a narcissist in your family.
For so long, you’ve had to witness them treat you – and others – unfairly.
There’s been a subconscious shift in the way you view the world because of that, and where you can, you highlight the value of true justice.
So you seek it where you can, as a person who could probably do with a lot more of it in their own lives, am I right?
#5 You speak your mind
Speaking your mind has likely been a part of you that has gotten you into a little trouble in the past, and I point no fingers!
That trouble may have been with the narcissist directly, but let’s get one thing clear, here.
Narcissists would love to speak their minds, but they’re too busy pretending to be perfect so people will like and trust them. You? You aren’t bothered. You say what you feel whether you’re liked for it or not.
#6 You don’t typically conform
There’s no reason why you feel the need to conform to what you deem to be a useless and toxic dynamic.
More than that though, you take this non-conformance to the outer world.
You refuse to follow the herd just because it means you don’t have to be alone. You’ve learned that standing up for what you like will still happen, even if nobody is standing by your side.
And you’re okay with that. In fact, that’s where you thrive.
Imagine the narcissist being able to do the same – big laughs – I think we can agree!
#7 You feel
Happy? Feel it.
Sad? Embrace it.
Worried? Lean into it?
Jealous? Be curious about it!
Fearful? Find out why!
Don’t you love the wide range of human emotions that are possible? Of course you do!
That’s because you enjoy what it is to be human and experience everything it has to offer.
Unlike the narcissist. They’re jealous of you, but they aren’t curious. They’re just bitter.
#8 You challenge authority
Rightly you should, if authority is corrupt.
You are used to enough of that from the narcissist who raised you, so it’s natural that you would grow to challenge it.
And yes, it sends shockwaves down the narcissist’s backbone, but that’s exactly what your purpose was meant for.
Ultimately, you don’t like being mistreated, and so you learn to stand and challenge in a way that suits you.
#9 You’re different than the rest
You’re unique, and you love being so. There’s nothing wrong with being so, but the narcissist will zone in on you and pick up on this, making it some kind of negative trait that you have.
That’s what they love doing; taking something good about you and turning it into a circus.
Don’t buy into it, because the moment you do, the moment you lose that unique vibe about you.
#10 You have a strong creative spark
Creativity is probably the enemy of the narcissist. To be creative means to pour your authentic self into something that has a finishing touch to it.
A piece of art, or a page of writing. A song, or a poem. Whatever it may be that you’re naturally talented at, prepare for the colorless narcissist to come along and spill their jealousy all over it.
That’s often what makes you the scapegoat.
#11 You’re a contrast from the gold child
Pitted against each other, the golden child and the scapegoat will in the end, be enemies of some sort.
At the very least, they will clash because that’s how the narcissistic parent wrote the narrative.
There has to be some light where there is shade, and there has to be good where there is bad.
This balance is not going to work in your favor, but this happens in all narcissistic dynamics.
Sadly, there are no real winners.
#12 You disrupt the family image or narrative
You speak up when you should stay silent. You say something that puts the image of the narcissist on the line, and you do so knowing that what you’re saying is right.
So why should you be sorry? The narcissist will fall down on you like a ton of bricks when they find out you’ve put their name out there negatively.
As the scapegoat, you will feel bad for doing it, but you also believe that the truth is what is most important.
Welcome to the world of scapegoats! As hard as it is to be one, it’s so much better to be awake to the abuse than to sleep through it all.
