I know what you’re thinking, you want the narcissist to say sorry. If they did, you’d feel better and they would hold themselves accountable.
Unfortunately, it’s never going to happen. That can’t stop you from dreaming though, right? In fact, there are 12 apologies you’ll never hear, and I’ve got them right here for you.
You loved the narcissist, but this is exactly why the whole thing was a complete waste of time.
#1 “I Lied. I’m Sorry”
The truth is that they all lie. I could literally swoop them all up in a big net and capture them like they were mackerel in the ocean.
They’d all be in there together, and I could yell, “You all lie!” It’d be true. But you know what they’d do?
They’d deny it.
That’s exactly why you’re never going to hear them apologise for doing so. Which completely throws me off, because it’s the decent thing to do, and narcissists are crying out to be decent people. So you’d think they’d do what’s right to earn more respect.
It stops there. It stops because to apologise for lying is to do two things. The first is taking accountability for what they lied about, and admitting that they aren’t perfect.
The second is being sorry about it. They aren’t sorry. They don’t care that they lie.
They just want to get away with living this life all the while avoiding reality (let’s be honest here, they don’t even know what reality is).
#2 “Sorry I Gaslit You”
Sorry you gaslit me… Okay. So you’re admitting that you are a fan of chopping up my reality and telling me that it doesn’t exist?
You’re saying that you actively and consciously have a history of manipulating me to the point where I have no idea what to think, feel or believe?
Yeah right!
Enter the real truth. If a narcissist was going to admit to that, then they’re ultimately giving all their power away to you, which is the very thing they’re trying to steal daily from you.
And they work hard to do it, too. Why would they surrender it?
You’ve loved them all this time, and you just want to know that what they’re doing is what they’re doing.
But they can never be honest in return, can they? It’s heartbreaking, yet you have to find a way to live it and heal from it, because it really will be no other way.
That apology will never come.
#3 “Sorry I Cheated”
I would love it if a narcissist apologized for cheating. It’d prove they were remorseful about the act, and respected you enough to be honest with you in terms of what happened.
Cheating is never okay, no matter the context. I think that’s what causes so much conflict in relationships, especially when one party might say:
It was just a kiss.
We weren’t physical.
I was drunk.
I don’t even like her.
I love you, and that’s all that matters.
It was a one off.
None of it is okay if the other person doesn’t find it okay.
#4 “Sorry I Embarrassed You”
Apologies like this would go a long way in showing that you matter, and that they overstepped.
Again, you won’t find it anywhere near their mouths because they’re too busy trying to think of the next way to embarrass you.
Would a person you love keep doing this? No. Does this sound like love at all? No.
Everything they put you through, and all the ways you loved them, and they don’t even have the decency to say sorry for some of the hardest times of your life with them.
#5 “Sorry I Ignored Your Boundaries”
I don’t think it’s ever possible for a narcissist to even know what a boundary is, let alone apologise for ignoring yours.
If that were the case, they would have spent more time listening to you and what matters instead of walking all over you and treating you like you will just take it all on the chin.
Your boundaries are important, and moving forward, they should be retained.
#6 “You Doubted Yourself, and I’m Sorry”
For all the times they gaslit you, they owe you multiple apologies.
I wouldn’t even think twice here, you won’t get that apology. It comes accompanied with a huge admission that they’ve manipulated you during your time together which, let’s be honest, will never happen. (and I know you want it to, but that’s just the way it is).
#7 “Sorry I Ruined Holidays”
Sorry?! It wasn’t just one Holiday, one time. It was all of them, every year, throughout that year.
They ruined them to the point where you started to dread them, and all in the name of love?
At least now you know that love was never really there, and you can start to build those special events back up to mean something more to you all over again, this time without the narcissist.
#8 “You Doubted Yourself Because Of Me. I’m Sorry”
It would be a very healing comment to receive when you consider all the times the narcissist made you think you were going crazy.
You were having your reality ripped from you and replaced by what they thought was right or fair, all to want to be ‘right’ and ‘in charge.’
It was all down to one person, who is, wait, now taking accountability?
No, they’re not. That’s why it’s an apology you’ll never hear!
#9 “Sorry I Stole So Much of Your Time”
The hardest part of breaking up with somebody who never loved you is all the time you spent together. They knew all along that they weren’t in it due to genuine feelings.
The task for you in any healing journey is to fully understand that no matter how you feel about that time gone, you’ll never get it back. Do you want to spend the next five years thinking about it and wasting even more?
I hope not.
#10 “I’m Sorry I Broke So Many Promises”
Letting you know that those promises were broken is a great way to validate all the times you felt disappointed by their actions (or lack thereof).
They broke them, and you know it. Not only do you know it, but you will have it confirmed by the narcissist if they say sorry.
Except, they won’t, because they can’t.
#11 “Sorry I Smeared Your Name”
Your name was smeared and people made assumptions about you based on what they heard from the narcissist.
neither fair nor right, yet it happened. You had to tolerate it in the way you did, but if you at least had an apology, it’d make it better.
Smearing is dangerous and can ruin reputations, but the narcissist doesn’t care about that at all.
#12 “I Constantly Played Victim. I’m Sorry”
Wow! You finally hear it from the horse’s mouth! The apology for always putting themselves in a victim mentality. Well, that apology will only happen in your dreams.
And I know. You love them, and you want to hear it. You feel you deserve it. Alas, prepare yet again for a world of disappointment.
That’s how cruel they really are.
