Narcissistic abuse doesn’t feel good when you are stuck in the middle of it. It is a form of trauma, and it’s the kind of experience you will never forget.
There is some good news, though, and it needs to be talked about much more than it currently is.
Narcissistic abuse makes you super intelligent. Going to hell and back teaches lessons that you will never forget, and that’s a kind of strength that will fire you up for your future.
Here are 11 ways narcissistic abuse makes you super intelligent.
#1 You learn what abuse looks like
It’s not the best way to learn about abuse, but it is the most accurate way, if I can be honest.
I don’t want anybody to suffer at the hands of a narcissist, but those who do can tell you everything you need to know about what happens, start to finish, and how it all feels.
This sounds heavy, and it is a lot of the time, but it’s also a way that you can become so intelligent to abuse as a whole, and why it exists.
Not everybody will go through their lives and suffer from a narcissist, but those who do will have a story to tell, and they will be far more able to spot the warning signs.
#2 You understand charm
Charm seems lovely, doesn’t it? It’s all shiny and wonderful, and it feels so good to be treated with respect and have attention and affection shone your way.
But, and this is a big but, what happens when it all fades? Genuinely nice characters don’t fade, they remain steadfast.
The charm of a narcissist is strong at first, and it will make you feel like a million bucks.
You will think the world is made up of just you and them, and no sooner do they lure you in, then they chew you up and spit you out again.
Understanding charm means stepping widely away from people who trigger you into thinking it is inauthentic and too much.
This is a level of intelligence I wish everybody could possess.
#3 Narcissistic abuse teaches you to look for calm
When you know what causes you pain, you only then can appreciate the calmness of others.
And they do exist! There are good people out there with honest hearts who would love to take you out, make promises and keep them.
After narcissistic abuse, a person who goes through the mill is far more likely to look for that type of person to share their lives with.
The calm isn’t boring, it is safe and secure.
#4 You reframe ‘passion and excitement’
Passion and excitement can happen with good people, but when everything seems too good to be true most or all of the time, that’s because it likely is.
Knowing that will really raise your intelligence levels, because you know not to look for your prince or princess charming.
You want a person who is real, and who stands by their word.
You want love and intimacy, but not at the cost of your own mental health.
#5 You are able to spot it in other relationship dynamics
When you’ve been to hell and back with a narcissist, the one slither of positivity that can come from your experience is the ability to see the same, or similar dynamics, with other people.
Take your friends and relatives for example. If you see something that triggers you, or that you know isn’t healthy, you can apply what you know to the situation and judge it far more accurately than others might,
Not everybody can do that, but once you have survived something as toxic as abuse, you see it, because you learn the signs.
#6 You spot the other narcissists in your life
When you are generally around people that aren’t involved in a relationship, you can still spot the narcissist in the room.
They seem to push for attention, they command it even. They love to speak, and rarely look patient while listening to everybody else. You see a look, a smirk, or hear a comment.
Before, you’d not even blink at them, but now your radar is going off and you know you have a narcissist before you.
#7 You can build knowledge to heal
The knowledge you build after a toxic relationship is knowledge that will help you heal in the long term.
I think people forget to link what they go through with how they can learn from it in the future, but if you are able to pick your abuse apart, your healing will be far more productive than you ever thought was possible.
These building blocks will strengthen your future.
#8 You learn a lot about manipulation
Manipulation is never direct. It’s never overt unless you are dealing with somebody equally as overt.
It is slow and steady. It’s not in a hurry, but it does have an end game.
That end game is to ruin you and your character, but if yo can learn about how narcissists operate and what they gain from manipulating you, then you can go some way to prevent it from happening, or at least joining the dots.
#9 You learn to take time getting to know somebody
WHat a blessing this is, and how wonderful that it can raise your intelligence levels up when it comes to narcissistic abuse, right?
No more are you the kind of person who jumps feet first into the deep end with every new potential love you meet.
Now, you take your time. You hold back on your past and fears until you really know and trust who you are with.
This is golden. Narcissists get bored, so waiting for you to spill your innermost secrets won’t last long. This is a great way to sieve out the toxic people!
#10 You’re able to realize none of it was your fault
This plays a great part in your healing process, as many victims carry the weight of guilt with them throughout their entire lives if they can’t see another option.
In knowing you aren’t to blame, you are left with the only other choice:
This was all the narcissist.
Not only do you learn a certain lesson here, but you also take it forward with you, knowing that you aren’t a huge screw up. That will give you more confidence in new relationships.
#11 You learn to live your best life
Living your best life is not something that should be played down or underrated. You have so much to offer, and you only get one shot at it.
Learning to live your life well is the ultimate revenge to any narcissist. If you can master that, then you are proving to yourself that your past does not define you in any way.
That’s how we live well. We grow through what we go through, and we come out the other end with a level of intelligence that no narcissist will ever be able to break again.
The silver lining here is you, and everything you have left to live for.
