11 Ways How They Fool You Into Thinking They Are Not a Narcissist

Narcissists are pure masters of disguise who will fool you into thinking they’re caring and confident souls who care deeply.

Beneath that outer charm lies a level of selfishness you won’t comprehend.

 How do they pull it off? 

Well, narcissists use very clever tactics to hide their true nature, making you believe they’re not who they really are. 

So, by the time you realize the truth, it will be too late. 

Allow me to uncover everything…

The Fool’s Game

The game of fools was invented by one.

Being fooled by a narcissist is nothing to be ashamed of, yet so many people feel that when they realize what’s going on. 

If you can see a good side to somebody toxic, they will ensure you never see their bad side. 

11 Ways Narcissists Fool You Into Thinking They Aren’t a Narcissist

#1 Charming First Impressions

You know the narcissist to be everything that destroys mental well-being. Each time you hear the word ‘toxic,’ you think about all the punishing ways people under the spell of narcissism are treated. 

The insults.

The mocking.

The anger.

The silent treatment.

The control.

The lack of accountability.

The invisible apologies.

So it’s no wonder the charming illusion can knock a person right into next week. You aren’t a fool for falling for the charm, but you’d be a fool to stay once you uncover the truth. 

#2 Selective Generosity 

One minute, they love to shower you with gifts and treat you like royalty. The next, they pull everything away from you and act as though you’re nothing but a pain to them. 

It’s like offering you a safe space to sit in, and then unleashing a dozen tigers into that space. You think you’re okay until they prove you’re not – and it’s all caused by them.

Eventually, feeling safe will become less and less frequent, and feeling unsafe will be where you are most likely to remain. 

Those moments you do feel safe will be when they try to show you how genuine and authentic they are…

…Don’t buy it!

#3 Playing the Victim

Narcissists are known for being the kind of person where nothing wins against them.

Believe me when I say that they’re so capable of playing the victim, it’s unreal. They will stop an entire village of people working if it means they get the kind of attention they;re searching for. 

So there you are, trying to see them as evil and awful, but they’re so good at proving otherwise in a single moment. Their eyes are full of sadness, and their tails drop – they’re like a dog without a treat.

But they’re still a narcissist!

#4 The Magic Mirror!

You’ll be swept away into a sea of blissful unawareness, and all the while, you feel like you ‘have so much in common with them!’ This is called mirroring.

Oh wow, you like that band? I’ve seen them five times in concert!

I thought I was the only person who loved peanut butter and banana on toast!

I love that you love those values. For me, it’s exactly the same. We are so alike. 

The narcissist will do what they can to make it seem like you’re two peas in a pod. It’s how you fall in love…

…And into their trap!

#5 Blaming Others

Hey. I’m the innocent guy here!

It’s not me. It’s everybody else.

I’m just trying my best to do what I can.

If you were to adhere to these statements, you’re likely to give the narcissist the benefit of the doubt, maybe even feeling sorry for them!

And you can’t feel sorry for somebody so toxic, which means they can’t be a narcissist, right?

Right?

WRONG!

#6 The Emotional Rollercoaster That Is

Now, I need you to read this clearly:

If a narcissist was bad all the time, there would be no appeal.

Did you get that?

Emotional rollercoasters are how you stay seated in an environment that you should be leaving. With every three negative things that happen, you’ll get one, which is a great thing. That’s how the narcissist plays you and how they keep you. 

Narcissists will convince you that toxic people are always toxic – and prove they aren’t by a false kind of positive for you. 

Don’t buy it.

#7 Strategic Compliments: Lower Your Guard

Every now and then, if you receive warm, kind and loving words from the narcissist, they will be able to cover their tracks and keep you fooled.

Oh, you look beautiful. I am so lucky to have you in my life.

I love you so much, you mean everything to me.

How can they be a narcissist, when they’re so full of love and affection?

Easily…

It’s fake.

Do not lower your guard.

#8 Questioning Yourself

Hey, I think you’re acting a little crazy. 

Do you think it’s worth asking yourself if you really feel that way? It seems so unlike you.

If a narcissist wants you to self-reflect, it’s because they’re trying to convince you to see yourself one way only. 

The way they want you to see yourself (which is always negative).

#9 “You Don’t Need Anybody!” – Creating Dependency

Fooling you into believing you don’t need anybody other than them is a dangerous game. Many narcissists are successful in this, isolating their victims until they can fully take charge of their thoughts and feelings. 

Do this!

Don’t do this!

Don’t speak to that person. You’re too good for them.

I don’t like you speaking to the neighbors. They’re nosey.

I don’t like how your mom treats you like a baby. It’s time to cut her off.

I could go on and on.

It serves to do one thing:

Cut you off and cause you to be dependent on just the narcissist.

This is fooling you in a way that makes you think they have your best interests at heart…

…They really don’t!

#10 Fear Via Control

A narcissist will ask you what you’re scared of, and present you with that very thing just so they can protect you from it.

Read that again.

The narcissist wants to save the day. They want to be the ones you run and cling to.

Little do you know that they caused the problem or the fear in the first place. 

When you experience the very fear they create – ask yourself if you are being saved or if you’re being fooled.

#11 The Perfect Image

The perfect image does exist for those who refuse to dig under the surface. 

Narcissists have a surface that is coated with perfection. They love to be the ones everybody gravitates toward, and you’re left thinking, “This person has it all. They’re so liked and amazing!”

Of course, they aren’t.

But that’s all part of their plan to fool you even more!