Don’t tell me that narcissists are great at emotionally handling anything, because they are not.
In fact, I’d go as far to say that they can’t honestly reflect on a single thing that might help them mature, wise up and stop playing hurtful games with you.
I want you to know the top 11 things that no narcissist is able to handle.
Bringing this subject to light will help you understand that no matter what you do, it will never be enough for these toxic people.
#1 Being ignored
Nothing rattles a narcissist more emotionally than silence.
And I don’t mean the peaceful silence that may occur day to day in the house, I mean the deliberate silence that can cut the atmosphere.
It’s okay if the narcissist is dishing it out, but you?
Not so much.
Narcissists thrive on reaction, so to have you give nothing causes immense panic.
When you stop responding, you show them the mirror that they cannot avoid, the mirror with the image of themselves in it.
You aren’t feeding their ego any longer, instead, you are starving it.
It can make a narcissist restless, and they won’t be able to handle the desperation they feel knowing you’ve made them so irritable.
And yes, they will try to get a ride from you and provoke you, but if you are ignoring them, their minds will struggle to not blow.
#2 Losing control
The number one part of a narcissist’s comfort zone is that of having control.
They love to steer the narrative, and with that comes the general mood and eventual outcome of whatever they’re next plotting and scheming.
The moment they lose control, everything just goes to pot, along with their sense of power.
There is a tense feeling, and narcissists become irrationally defensive, sometimes outright cruel.
The more control you give yourself, the more boundaries will be laid out in front of the narcissist as they wonder which step to take next.
The truth is simple; narcissists want to be in charge, no ifs, no buts.
#3 Genuine criticism
You’re aware of how much praise is lavished and welcomed by the narcissist, right?
Now imagine how terrible it would be to lose that, and have it be replaced by criticism.
There’s no positive feedback; just attack after attack, at least, that’s how it will feel to them.
A narcissist will deflect, time and time again, and when you try to point out their flaws, they will feel like you are trying to expose them.
Of course, this will get their backs up and make them feel as though they’re entering dangerous territory.
That’s why you can never have a real conversation with a narcissist, because they turn into silence or arguments.
They may as well walk around wearing earplugs!
#4 Not having admiration
While you and I rely on oxygen to breathe, the narcissist’s oxygen is admiration.
Without it, they literally suffocate. A narcissist has to rely on things like praise and validation in order to feel a sense of approval, and this isn’t every now and then, it is constant.
And so what happens when all of that fades? You guessed it. So does their confidence. There’s nothing worse than a narcissist who feels unimportant.
Let them stomp and sulk, but just know that this is a reaction to not getting what they want from you.
#5 Being held accountable
When you try to hold a narcissist accountable, it feels to them as though you are attacking them.
Taking responsibility for what they’ve done just feels like you are blaming them and cornering them to admit fault, and we all know narcissists believe they’re faultless!
If it’s ever been your turn to speak with them and tell them that they should be accountable for something, then you will know exactly what I am talking about.
All the while you’re talking, they are rewriting history in their minds to paint themselves as innocent.
This is why change rarely occurs, because the narcissist is too emotionally immature to want to do anything about it.
#6 Seeing you succeed without them or help from them
When you are succeeding in life, you are sending clear message to the narcissist:
I am doing well, and you aren’t.
We both know that success can happen to both you and them, but the narcissist only sees you as their competition.
They can’t handle something good happening to you, and not them. They want to scream and shut, and punish you for daring to take a chance in life.
Not only that, but their emotional dysregulation will cause them to minimize your wins and downplay all the effort you apply.
You tell them good news, and they change the subject.
In truth, they just can;t handle your achievements. That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t have any.
#7 Not getting a rise from you
Narcissists press buttons for the purposeful reason that reaction is rewarded.
They will send all the messages to you that they want conflict, and the moment you give it to them is when they feel powerful.
Without it? They’re just helpless people who now see you as unpredictable.
Trust me, this is scary for the narcissist, and they are rarely able to handle it.
#8 Having their power or authority questioned
If you aren’t being obedient, then what are you even doing around the narcissist?
They expect authority, but they do nothing to earn it. They assume they will always lead and have the final say, but where does that leave you?
This is why they hate being challenged; they see it as a direct threat. To dominate is the dream, without the unnecessary dialogue to go with it.
If you question their power, they will lose their minds.
#9 Being treated like everybody else
Narcissists don’t live to be fair, they live for nothing but special treatment. It’s as if there is one rule for them, and another for you.
When you treat them like everybody else, you’re sending them a clear message:
To me, you are just like everybody else.
Ouch! What a kick to their fragile ego! Hey don’t want this balanced outlook, they want privilege.
#10 Watching you move on – and thrive
If you can be happy without a narcissist, it feels like direct rejection to them.
They aren’t just losing you, they’re losing their supply and what makes them feel in control.
This is a devastating blow, and when you can prove you aren’t falling apart without them, you are proving that your peace is proof you don’t need them.
Prepare for high levels of emotional dysregulation!
#11 Real conflict
A narcissist will avoid real conflict because they don’t want the honesty that comes with it.
That equates to vulnerability after all, and a narcissist prefers to sit in drama instead of resolution.
Real conflict also makes them panic, because they haven’t designed it.
Usually that means they are witness to it the same as you, and this puts fear into them. They’d sooner run from what they witnessed that they didn’t have a hand in.
If it isn’t a product of their making, they can’t bear it.
