It’s not within me to bump up the narcissist’s ego by telling them how good they are at things. However, if the shoe fits, I love to point out the obvious.
But this is not what you think. I am not about to applaud goodness, or real talent that showcases a compassionate person.
If anything, I want to use this opportunity to remind you all that just because a person is good at something, it doesn’t make them good at all.
#1 Ruining any special occasion
Told you! This is not about reminding narcissists how talented they are, it’s about reminding you what you’re up against when you get involved with one.
Ruining occasions is just a classic way for them to treat you poorly and make you dread important dates.
From birthdays to Christmas and everything in between, never expect a narcissist to walk toward any special event with a smile on their face and open arms.
They will, and do cause trouble. Anything that strips attention away from them is simply not worth their time, so they stamp all over it.
#2 Mistreating their own kids
You’d think narcissists would give their own kids a break, I mean, they’re kids.
Again, this is wishful thinking, because narcissists are in fact so good at mistreating them.
The damage they can cause can feel irreparable, but I do believe all people can heal from narcissistic abuse of any kind.
If you have a narcissistic parent, I know you are going to understand where I am coming from one hundred percent here.
It’s awful, and the pain can feel like it is literally searing through you when you think about how they’ve treated you.
They cut your opportunities through fear of you becoming more successful than them.
They criticize everything you do and like. They control who your friends are, or what you wear, or what your opinions are.
They convince you to live a life they want for you, rather than allow you the freedom of living the life you want.
#3 They treat a stranger in the street better than you
First impressions mean more to a narcissist than you – the person who knows who is truly behind the mask.
This one cuts deep, and I get it. It’s the worst thing in the world to be spoken to like dirt, followed by watching the narcissist in their next breath gush all over a stranger in the street.
They want that person to walk away thinking, “Wow, what a nice person they were.”
That little kick they get from that is unmatched, and sadly, they’re so good at it.
#4 Love to kick you when you’re down
Just as they see the smile on your face fade, narcissists love to swoop in like a vulture and steal whatever might be left for you to cling onto.
When you’re down, your life will be further pulled apart by the narcissist, who’s hard work pays off when you sink lower into the current sad state you’ve slipped into.
It’s lovely for them to see you don, because it means you might just be as miserable as they are all of the time.
Seeing you sad brings them joy, and that will never change.
#5 Twist everything you say and do
When you mean one thing (even if it’s evidently clear), the narcissist will twist it to make you look crazy, stupid, or simply just wrong.
You’ll spend the rest of the conversation trying to justify yourself or claim they’re wrong, but to no avail.
They’ve got a word you said, and they’ve created an entirely new narrative that doesn’t paint you well.
They mistake you, but they do it on purpose, and they’re brilliant at it.
#6 Lie about anything and everything
Come on! As if we all didn’t know this to be true. Narcissists are the best at lying about anything and everything.
We know this because we catch them out all the time, and we see them do it in front of anybody who will listen.
You know what’s important to remember here? All those times they tell you that you’re not not good enough, or that you’re not enough of this, or too much of that; they’re also lying.
Something worth remembering the next time you feel down about yourself, isn’t it?
#7 Make you feel more lonely than you’ve ever been
Being lonely is a hard place to be, especially when the one person who is causing that feeling is the only one you have been programmed to depend on.
Who do you go to? How do you start to make sense of it all if you don’t know which way to turn first?
Narcissists will rip away your independence, your finances, your freedom, your friends and then use their power over you to assert dominance.
#8 Make you feel unworthy and unloved
And totally drain all the emotion out of you. I feel it, I really do. Narcissists are terrible people who act in ways that do not align with the love they tell you they have for you.
And it’s confusing.
Is this love?
Is this what happiness feels like?
Is this my life forever?
No, no and no. It shouldn’t be this way at all, yet it is, because the narcissist is present and making you feel all the things you don’t deserve to feel.
#9 You feel hopeless when it comes to you
And not because you want to feel this way, but because that’s how living with a narcissist has made you feel.
They shed their self-hatred onto you, making you feel exactly the same way about yourself.
There never seems to be light at the end of your tunnel, and that’s all down to the way you’ve been treated.
Every day feels the same, and the endless cycle of hot and cold, good and bad, shouting and silence has finally got you to a point of hopelessness.
This is all the narcissist’s doing.
#10 Shame, exhaustion and anxiety are left at your doorstep
These are all such heavy loads to carry, aren’t they? You feel shame from the narcissist, who does what they can to place it away from themselves.
You feel exhausted from the conflict and inner turmoil. You feel anxious because you never know what mood the narcissist is going to be in next.
All of these together make for a pretty miserable existence, when all you want is to live in peace and be happy.
Is it too much to ask?
It is all the while you stay, and the narcissist continues to throw all of this at you.
#11 They betray and reject everything you’ve ever given them
I once knew a narcissist who refused to open cards or presents from other people on their birthday sometimes for weeks after the event.
It was like a proper open rejection to the thought gone into the gifts or words written, but this is classic of a narcissist.
They hate it when you don’t pay them attention, and when you do, they reject you anyway.
It feels as though you can never make the right move.
