You know that eventually the narcissist is going to cheat on you. That might look physical, or emotional, but either way, eventually they all drift.
Before that happens, you should prepare for a shift in their character. The narcissist will plan and plot their moves before they take that unfaithful leap, with these 11 things.
Let’s not pretend the narcissist is innocent. Your reward is knowledge, and with that comes a firm move away from the damage they cause in the future – with hope!
#1 They pull away emotionally
If a narcissist wants to cheat, they will pull away emotionally from you before they do the deed.
It’s almost as if they are pre-empting the distance, and doing it to make themselves feel better about being disloyal.
I also want to add here that it gives them a chance after the cheating to turn to you and blame you for the emotional distance between you, even though it was curated by them.
You’ve been quiet for so long.
I thought you weren’t interested.
You made me feel like I did something wrong.
No. It was all the narcissist, and you need to know that fully before you start feeling guilty about what they did to you.
#2 They hide their phones more
Phones being hidden is a classic sign that the narcissist is cheating. Why else would they want to put it away so much and not let you even get close to it?
It’s because of all the messages, all the apps, dare I say all the photos, too.
When kept from you, they can carry on cheating to their hearts content, arranging meet ups or flirting online with strangers, exes, or women they knew twenty years ago.
None of it is right.
#3 They suddenly start caring about their appearance
Hold on, what’s the change? My guess is that the narcissist has suddenly decided to care about how they look because they want to make good first impressions with people they’re starting to meet.
Does that sound like something that may mean they’re cheating? Absolutely! Why start now, what was the prompt?
Don’t let these kinds of behavioral shifts go unnoticed.
#4 They pick fights to justify pulling away from you
Picking fights to justify pulling away from you is a really low blow, but narcissists are fans of this because it almost gives them permission to cheat.
I know, these people really are crazy and will resort to anything to get their own way.
When you are accused, blamed, yelled at for no reason, it could be that the narcissist is paving the way for them to be able to cheat under a justifiable label.
Let’s get one thing clear – cheating is never justifiable.
#5 They accuse you of cheating
Oh, don’t you love it when the narcissist turns the table and accuses you of being a cheater?
It really grinds my garlic when all the heaviness gets piled on the innocent party, while they get to do whatever they want with a smug look on their faces.
No more.
If a narcissist is accusing you of cheating, they’re only doing it to make themselves feel better about what they are actually doing.
#6 They stop sharing their thoughts and plans with you
A narcissist will pull away from you and stop revealing their plans and thoughts because they’re too busy thinking about cheating.
The person they’re thinking about cheating with will instead get their full, undivided attention, and this means you lose out.
That change is noticeable if you pay close attention, and no matter how much they deny it, you know there is something going on.
Whether or not that’s an opportunity for them to be honest is down to you to think about –
but I would heavily suggest remembering that narcissists are rarely, if at all, honest people.
#7 They become overly critical of you overnight
Whatever you say or do will come under scrutiny for all narcissistic dynamics, but this one is really on another level.
The criticism jumps up several gears, and really leaves you feeling closed in.
The narcissist wants you to feel bad about yourself, and they also want to make you a problem.
This makes them feel better when they go out and chat, because they think about you at home, and what a pain or joy sap they’ve invented you to be.
#8 They look for validation from others
I just don’t feel happy.
I deserve a chance to feel myself.
I hate thinking that this is it for the rest of my life.
Narcissists want somebody to turn around and say, “You’re right. You have to be happy.”
For what? Them to go and cheat? I don’t think so.
#9. They rewrite the history of your relationship
When a narcissist rewrites the history of your relationships, they do so in order to make it seem as though you walked them into being unfaithful.
The way you snap, you ignore their needs, you are abusive, you are controlling; whatever it takes to let them off the hook.
Once history is rewritten, it’s as if they are allowed to do whatever they want guilt free.
But you know the truth, right?
So you should remember it if and when you find out about their betrayal.
#10 They fall into more of a busy life, or being unavailable
You try to call them, but you get no answer.
You text, and it is left unread, even though you’ve seen the narcissist online.
You ask if they fancy doing something together at the weekend, but they already made plans without you.
Does this not point to the obvious? If not, it should. If it does, then lean into it and see that under these layers of distance is a liar.
#11 They prepare a story for when they aren’t in your company
As the narcissist drives home from work, they know they want to meet up with somebody else and cheat on you.
In preparation for this, you might find they got stuck in traffic, or were needed late in the office.
That’s not true, it’s because the narcissist took the long way home so they can plot how they’re going to cheat on you, and all the story attached to it.
Remember, they think like cheaters before they’ve even done the deed, so they can get a believable story down on paper for you to believe every single last word.
#12 They hide or go electronic on all statements
If you are noticing all statements and finances have gone electronic, that’s not because the narcissist wants to save the planet (despite what they might tell you).
They want to hide every transaction from you, from the hotel, to the dinner, to the lingerie; whatever it may be that links them to infidelity.
No sooner have they turned to paperless, they are able to get away with whatever they want, knowing you won’t be picking up the statements and going through them.
It’s highly sneaky, but so predictable from these kinds of people.
